zach

Bb Zach Finds 7 Hd Viewers Curiously Uninterested In His Fellatio Lessons

9:31AM Clem Bastow | Remember Zach from Big Brother 07, the darling bird-like gay who left the house in runner-up to pursue his dreams of corseting Australia’s sheilas? Well, you may or may not have known that he also snared himself a job on Channel 7’s HD late show The Night Cap, but if that is news to you, too bad, because it seems the powers that be at 7 weren’t too keen on having Zach merrily describe blow-jobs and fisting to the viewers playing along at home! While the former Big Brother runner-up had been criticised for his “frozen” debut performances on the experimental show, which launched on February 12, Douglas turned up the heat too far when answering a viewer’s email. The seemingly harmless question about kissing veered into dangerous territory when Douglas began describing same-sex practises and fellatio. His explicit comments left the show’s more experienced performers – host Matthew White, newsreader Jessica Rowe and roving reporter Monique Wright – scrambling to patch up the wreckage of the segment. A spokeswoman for Channel 7 told Confidential yesterday there was “no correlation between the incident” and a decision to replace Douglas on the panel. “Zach found flying between Melbourne and Sydney twice a week took its toll on him and his (corset) business, so he’ll now be our entertainment and gossip reporter,” the publicist said. So that pretty much means the turnaround between BB fame and total nothingness has now reached its swiftest rate, yes? Especially since the last we saw of BB07 winner Aleisha was appearing in a Global Rags late-night ad for their Boxing Day crazy sale. Let that be a lesson to all who unwisely chose to send in their videotapes this year despite the lack of Gretel and the presence of Satan and his minions. More »

Big Brother Zach Wants To Teach The World To, Er, Tightlace

9:19AM Clem Bastow | We didn’t watch much of BB07 (Note: this is the Associate Editor speaking; as you know Defamer Australia bosslady Jess McGuire is the queen of staying “in” with BB, and our water cooler capabilities thank her), but when we did tune in we were particularly taken with runner-up Zach Douglas and his man corset. You may also recall that Zach was a “designer” who was particularly interested in the art of corsetry. Well, it’s taken some time, but now Zach’s online corsetry emporium is finally up and running – and what a sumptuous embarrassment of riches it is. Let’s start with the copy: Can’t quite read it? Of particular enjoyment to us was the passage: “The period in which they where once produced where women worn them everyday.” Okay, so it’s unfair of us to clutch at straws when it comes to reedin nad wryting gud, but the main problem with have is with the corsets themselves: they’re… trashy! We had high hopes for Zachy, but the stuff he’s come up with looks like he was hoping to score a lucrative deal dressing Krystal BB for her Zoo columns. To wit, hop over the jump to experience “Victoria and Donna”… More »

Tonight’s Big Brother Finale

4:15PM Jess McGuire | Is it possible? Could our broken heart over 2005’s Big Brother result be repaired this evening with a Zach win? Oh, we do hope so. Last night saw the eviction of Billy and Travis from the house, leaving Aleisha and Zach to duke it out for the title of Winner Of Life/A Fairly Average Season Of Big Brother. THINGS OF NOTE ABOUT LAST NIGHT’S SHOW. - They really hammered home the Dad love last night, didn’t they? Making the housemates cry with their Diary Room confessions regarding their relationships with their fathers, etc. Makes you glad Emma didn’t end up in the final four. - Zach’s parents are wonderful, and their genuine and emotional conversations with Gretel about their son’s sexuality and the effect his time in the house has had not only on their own family, but the wider community? Beautiful and truly touching moments in an otherwise increasingly artificial feeling show. - Billy’s dad, this is not the Oscars, you are not Gwyneth fucking Paltrow, so PLEASE stop thanking anyone who has ever worked for Endemol Southern Star. - Gretel sandwiching herself between Billy’s father and Billy and admitting “I’ll take what I can get these days” was a cheery and welcome return to form for Ms Killeen. We like it when she quips away in a self-deprecating manner! - However, her kid glove treatment of Billy when it came to asking him exactly how his relationship with Hayley ended (ie: did you cheat, you randy goat?) made us recall her unfairly aggressive treatment of the admittedly irritating but essentially harmless Jamie. If Billy had been – IN HER EYES – not as attractive, we suspect she may have gone harder. Erm. In the interviewing sense, of course. Though we’ve no doubt she would “go hard” in many other senses too. AND WHAT OF TONIGHT? We desperately want Zach to win, and demand you spend your precious dollars texting ZACH to 1992SAVE. If he comes out the victor, we’ll watch Big Brother again next year. If he doesn’t… (shakes fist at sky) A few of our chums felt the loss of Travis from the race meant that Zach was a shoe-in. Remember 2005, people? REMEMBER 2005? The “Travis” of that year, Vesna, was booted out leaving the amiable Logan Greg (AKA ALEISHA) and Lefty Tim (AKA ZACH). No one expected Logan Greg to win – except possibly Logan David, if rumours of him spending fuckloads to vote for his brother are to be believed – and yet he did… at the expense of the wonderful, creative, intelligent, slightly bloody mad Tim Brunero. So while we are hopeful and pleased Zach has made it to the final two – a miraculous feat in itself considering he is A Gay from the Camp wing of homosexuality rather than one of the “normal, straight acting kinda blokes” which some heterosexuals in the community idiotically view as the preferable variety of fruit to grow in one’s garden (ie: society – we are enjoying our metaphors today, non?) – we are still wary of being hurt once more. ZACH TO WIN – IF THERE’S A GOD. Oh, and after the jump? Some charming snaps from last night’s show and a couple more from the Big Brother finale rehearsal. Sweet! More »