This weekend (well, dragged out over Sunday and Monday) will see the conclusion of an all-round fairly disappointing season of Big Brother. Can we blame the lack of nude moments? The housemates themselves? An exhausted nation weary of reality television? We will perhaps pen an incredibly lengthy and insightful essay answering these very questions next week.

In the meantime, please vote to save the wonderful, charming, sweet Zach who strikes us as the only person in the damn Dreamworld compound with a soul. Restore our faith in the nation. If Zach wins, the huge hole in our heart caused by the hideous victory of The Logans over Lefty Tim in 2005 may be somewhat filled.

Firstly, what a fucking waste of time Kyle Sandilands was! And not just in the normal everyday sense he's a fucking waste of time. Comes into the house, has a sook about wearing a hat, behaves like a boring dullard of a child toward Big Brother, makes Travis wear a corset, and then goes home with a sick note. NEXT!

Actually, before we howl "NEXT!" at the telly... we ask you this. Did Kyle's tantrum about having to take off his hat have anything to do with the fact he was decked out head to toe in gear from the Sean John fashion label? Was there some sort of sponsorship deal?

Secondly, ZACH TO FUCKING WIN! SERIOUSLY. Defamer Australia wholeheartedly throw our support behind him. He is sweet and adorable and funny and mischievous and we are right the fuck into the gorgeous smattering of freckles across his noble nose.

Could the latest flamboyant addition to the Big Brother compound get us hooked into the show again? All signs point to yes!

Zach's favourite pastime so far has been sitting on the couch and watching the male housemates in the gym.

The object of his attention has been Thomas, but he also made a pass at Billy and Zoran.

He described Thomas as "perfect" while watching him lift weights in the gym.

The pair had an early morning conversation on Monday in which Zach told him about his unlucky nature when it came to men.

On Sunday night Zoran asked Zach if he would repair a hole in the crutch of his pants.

"Ooh, you'll have to put them on and model them for me," Zach joked. Zoran seemed to find it hard to hide his horror.

Moments earlier Zach had offered to "lace up" Billy in a corset.

Zach to win!