As you may have heard, there's some drama brewing in the hills — the Holmby Hills, that is — where veritable antique Hugh Hefner has been holed up in the Playboy mansion with his three The Girls Next Door girlfriends, including reigning hottie Holly Madison. But Holly, who has been Hef's number one squeeze for the past seven years, is finally fed up with Hef - who, unlike all other straight men in Los Angeles, doesn't share Holly's dreams of wedded bliss and babies galore. Shit, shehas a better chance of getting preggers swimming in the Grotto then in bed with Hef! Anyway, since domesticated life isn't in the cards, Holly's been cozying up with magician Criss Angel in Vegas - where, true to form, nothing has stayed a secret. Now Hef is threatening that Holly's days of free hair extensions and unlimited edible underwear may be numbered.

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Sure, Sharon Stone is a great many things—an award-winning actress, a karmic-geology theorist, a glamorous throwback to the Golden Era of Hollywood Crazy—but she's been trying on a new persona lately: That of the majestic cougar, roaming the Hollywood hills in search of fresh, hunky meat, which she traps using her preferred stalking method of slowly uncrossing her powerful hind legs to reveal that she isn't wearing any cougar-panties. The lucky young man in the photo above is identified by In Touch as Simon LeBon 25 years ago 24-year-old Chase Dreyfus:

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If the recent VMAs promo made you wonder "Who's the Brit next to Brit-Brit?", then meet Russell Brand. We asked the British funnyman (and Forgetting Sarah Marshall star) to sit down with us in an effort to prove his pop culture bona fides before hosting the VMAs on September 7. Already a famous ladykiller in the U.K., can Brand prove equally charming as the emcee of MTV's biggest event? We solicited his thoughts on Miley Cyrus, Christian Bale, and hermaphrodite presidents in a bid to find out.

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Excellent news to report for anyone who still thinks Angelina Jolie is perfection incarnate, in spite of that silly husband-stealing fiasco, heroin tape, Billy Bob phase, Life Or Something Like It and...well, there are probably a few of you left! According to Us, the conception of the Chosen Two was quite literally chosen to arrive at a specific point in Brangelina's magical life. A source tells the weekly that the "impatient" soccer team managers didn't rely on Brad's super-sperm or Jolie's scream-filled bedroom style to spontaneously produce Knox and Viv. Rather, the no-longer-immortal duo paid a hefty sum for in vitro treatments to speed up their plan to "have 10 kids...while [they're] young." But their goal may not work out quite as planned. Reports that Angelina is being forced into joining the trendy rapid weight loss/gain club for her next role may cause a serious delay in recruiting new Jolie-Pitts for quite some time.

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How's this for an unlikely couple? Former CSI star-turned-drug-runner Gary Dourdan and the singer responsible for the most annoying song of the decade, James Blunt, have apparently pooled together whatever cash they have left in their respective bank accounts and gone on holiday together. While on an Ibizan vacation of sin, the heroin/ecstasy enthusiast and the notorious player teamed up to stage a far racier version of Miley Cyrus' homemade porny photo spreads, as they posed alongside at least three topless prostitutes female friends who were overjoyed to fake anal sex and engage in a little lesbian chic foreplay for the paparazzi. The NSFW photos, including a particularly fun shot of the blondest, nude-iest girl for hire who appears to be delighted to have her head shoved towards the third wheel's crotch, after the jump:

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Isn't it strange how that rare affliction of being mystically "unable" to gain weight only strikes female celebrities? It seems poor Megan Fox has that very woe to deal with atop her many other personal struggles, like pretending her engagement to one-earring trendmaker Brian Austin Green is still on, and trying ever so desperately to let a director (any director!) just film her nude already. But the newly "scrawny" Fox has reportedly been chastised about her skinny frame by Transformers 2 director Michael Bay, who has demanded that the busty Jolie successor put on 10 pounds or find a new gig. While Megan's resorted to stuffing herself with cake every night in bed, we might suggest the Anne Hathaway Quick Speed Diet: apparently breaking up with a grade A loser leads to dropping 28 pounds in no time!

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While you're celebrating another Friday with Irish car bombs, smokes, and An Actor's Guide to Manorexia (or tequila, for those of you who aren't Colin Farrell), perhaps you don't realise we all have a much bigger reason to celebrate today - it's Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson's four month anniversary! As with all immature 15-year-olds, these two lovebirds are professing their love via text message. But words alone will never portray true love (suck it, Shakespeare), they need the stuff! So kick back with a bottle of Cuervo, and allow us to present our Top 10 Gift Ideas for this adorably new couple!

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Our borderline obsession with Gwyneth Paltrow's new look as a S&M fetishist during her Iron Man promotional Tour of Transparent Minidresses may have rubbed off on lookalike daughter Apple. But not the way you'd think. Rather than doing the typical copycat routine most little girls go through when their mum is hot, the 4-year old papier-mache donkey fan is not turning herself into a fashionista, but using little brother Moses as her muse. As Paltrow says, "She makes Moses cross-dress." The question is: how far is Apple taking the tranny toddler theme, and does this mean little Moses is destined for an adolescence of boy-curious desires like his dear old Dad?

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Okay. Until now, we'd tried to give Jessica Alba the benefit of the doubt. Sure, she's impossible to watch in any movie she's ever made, what with her amateur acting skills that include crafted facial expressions such as "I'm Happy, See, Because You Can See My Teeth!" and "I'm Sexy, See, Because You Can See My Bikini-Clad Butt!" And yes, she made pregnancy look like possibly the most miserable state of being, unlike all those other actresses who affected the standard Glow (see Naomi Watts and even Nicole Kidman, incapable of moving her face, yet still dewy and happy 'til the arrival of her daughter Sunday). But after reading an excerpt from new mum Alba in next month's UK Cosmo, we think it's safe to say the actress, who insults all male actors, obsesses over her weight, and shows warning signs of early Husband Emasculation, is on her way to becoming the next Katherine Heigl:

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The upcoming issue of Star breathlessly reports that Spencer Pratt Attack ringleader and excellent on-screen kisser Mary-Kate Olsen might be headed back to the floral pastures of celebrity rehab any day now. The mag's sources cite a quasi-recent "collapse" outside an LA club, ongoing depression over her "lover" Heath Ledger's sudden death, and brewing tension between MK and her more low-key twin, Ashley. But, as we pointed out earlier this month, the twinset's more rebellious (and interesting) half is on a roll. After appearing on her first Elle cover solo, starring in a critically praised indie movie and, of course, teaming up with David Letterman in a campaign to destroy everyone's most hated reality villain, Mary-Kate hasn't shown any signs of crumbling. We took a closer look at this alleged collapse, the odds that Ledger and the itty bitty billionaire were in any way involved romantically, just how grave the tiny twosome's differences are, and came up with three reasons why we don't buy it.

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