x factor

Dannii Will Think Twice Before Hitting That Big ‘X’ Button Again

10:16AM Clem Bastow | As though it weren’t already bad enough that our wholesome reality television talent quests were populated by deluded people who’ve never heard the word “no” and consequently think they sound like Stevie Wonder (when the reality is closer to Pierce Brosnan in Mamma Mia!), now the poor judges can’t even give a contestant the boot without fearing for their safety – just ask our Dannii Minogue, who co-panels the X Factor desk in the UK. More »

Leona Lewis Needs Throat Op; Cosima Sends Moral Support

11:31AM Clem Bastow | Leona Lewis, the UK X Factor winner whose stardom really eluded us for a long time (people were saying she was the new Whitney/Mariah/Aretha, we were like, “whut whut?”) is the first British female artist to hit the top of the US charts in 20 years – but her more pressing concern involves probable surgery on her throat. In rather old-fashioned fashion, Leona may need to have her tonsils out! Feel free to make an inappropriate Bleeding Love joke here. She said: “I’ve had tonsillitis for the whole of the past week. I’ve been desperately trying to get better.” A representative for the 22-year-old singer has confirmed she may be forced to have surgery, adding: “Leona would like to reassure fans this is a routine operation which will not affect her voice. She has sought specialists’ advice.” So, in other words, she has nothing to worry about? If anything, not having the surgery is probably worse for her! Sounds like The Sun et al need a basic course in anatomy – one doesn’t sing with one’s tonsils, dearies. Maybe Leona can swing herself an ice cream or Jello endorsement deal during her recovery? More »

Sharon Osbourne Sez Dannii Only Employed For Her Looks; Sharon Is Employed For … ??

11:10AM Clem Bastow | Renowned loudmouth Sharon Osbourne (originator of our favourite quote of 2007: “I hope he gets syphilis and dies; I hope his dick falls off so his mother can eat it”) has laid the smackdown on fellow X Factor host Dannii Minogue, saying the Kylie understudy is only on the show because of her looks. Dannii has been remarkably civilised through all this, but we reckon it’s time for her to bite back by saying she wrote Put The Needle On It about Sharon’s forehead. ZING! “She [Dannii] knows she’s there because of her looks, not because of her contribution to the music industry,” she said. “She’s younger, she’s better-looking, Simon wants her and he doesn’t want me – thank God.” Well, Sharon, we’re inclined to think that you shouldn’t be concerned about the affections of Simon, seeing as YOU’RE MARRIED. Anyway, we think these two showbiz dames should settle this all with a nice big bowl of strawberry ice cream – by wrestling in it. Now that’s what the people of Britain want to see! More »