It feels weird to have a Winegums Watch without Clem "presenting" it, but considering Defamer Australia's continued coverage of Amy Winehouse's adventures over the past few years, I would be remiss to ignore the latest event in the British soul singer's ever-exciting life - her husband Blake has finally been let out of the clink.

Amy Winehouse's husband was released from jail yesterday after almost a year behind bars for his part in a vicious assault on a pub landlord. Blake Fielder-Civil left Edmonds Hill prison in Suffolk at 8am looking pale and with his arms covered in red scars.

The 26-year-old, who has fought a long battle with drug addiction, was not due to be released until next month but was freed after agreeing to attend rehab. Miss Winehouse herself was not there to meet him, leading to rumours of a rift between the pair.

But since they've been apart? Oh god. Look at them!

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Generally speaking, tales of nightmarish celebrity excess - Rod Stewart getting a flask of semen pumped from his stomach, Stevie Nicks' coke-up-the-bum, Ricky Martin and the golden showers - are, more often than not, complete twaddle. So it is that I take this Winegums-related tidbit with a grain or forty of salt, but then again, it is Winegums, so anything's possible. The long and short of it is, think twice before lending Amy your favourite frock:

Our insider reveals: "Harvey Nichols loaned Amy £25k's worth of silk and satin dresses. Unfortunately, while wearing one of the frocks, she went on an all-night bender.

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You'd be forgiven, if you were a close personal friend of Amy Winehouse, for expecting her to have become somewhat tardy when it came to personal engagements and dates of late - you know, giving you Christmas presents in August and organising Easter egg hunts for early January - but surely it's a worrying sign when Winegums is running late even for her own birthday party? Because, you know, surprise surprise, that's what she's been up to!

She arrived two hours late for a performance at her local pub, The Monarch, in north London on Thursday night.

The organisers were forced to announce, "Miss Winehouse is sorry she will be late."

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When Kate Moss was busted allegedly doing coke, it was sort of shocking, right? And when Peaches Geldof was filmed apparently making - ahem - a transaction, it was also sort of out of left field, yeah? But when Amy Winehouse is shot doing what looks to be a nose-load of coke, it sort of ranks - in the "surprising" stakes - alongside Miriam revealing to the Big Brother housemates that she was, in fact, born a man, or the fact that (spoiler alert you guys!) the East Compton Clovers beat the Rancho Carne Toros in Bring It On. So, here's the rub:

The troubled Back to Black star was secretly filmed hoovering up the Class A drug in a packed London pub.

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In our Winegums' checkered past over the last twelve months or so, I've lost track of the numerous people who have offered to "save" her; some notables have included Mick Jagger, who apparently ended up too busy pouting in front of a mirror to actually make good on his offer of salvation. Perhaps the latest offerers will have a little more luck: a group of Austrian monks has extended a hand to the troubled soul superstar:

The Cistercian Monks Of Stift Heiligenkreuz are based in Vienna, Austria, and they are a little worried about poor Amy. She certainly has a nice voice, but she doesn't seem to be doing too well. So the brothers would like to bring her over for some solemn, pious R&R.

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Remember approximately a bazillion years ago when Winegums was working with producer/collaborator Mark Ronson on the theme song for the new 007 flick, Quantum Of Solace, and everyone was all like "this will be Amy's big career revival!"? Yeah, neither did I, such has been her exemplary work ethic lately, but evidently she actually did finish a recording and plans to release it anyway (i.e. in spite of Jack White and Alicia Keys' official track) in some sort of chart comeback/flipped bird to the Bond execs who vetoed her effort. Wow, this has "monumental success" written all over it!

Amy told me she wants to "prove that they have made a big mistake".

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After wondering what had actually happened to Amy Winehouse when she dropped off the front pages for about a week (alien abduction? Another hospitalisation? Did Blake eat her in a sacrifice to his vampire overlords?), our Winegums has made an appearance in broad daylight - and wouldn't you know it, even that is a cause for concern!

A frail Amy Winehouse ventured out of her flat in Camden for the first time in a fortnight - needing support from her bodyguard.

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For whatever reason, the UK press has gone eerily quiet on the topic of Winegums this past week or so (it perhaps has something to do with the results of this highly reputable survey). So, in an effort to keep the Winegums hits coming, I looked beyond the holy trinity of the Daily Mail, The Sun and Mirror - and wasn't I pleased I did. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you this stunning update from "Entertainment & Showbiz, India"!

A track from Amy Winehouse's latest album would certainly turn out to be a song to savour, literally so, for it is based on cooking meatballs.

While Amy's been keen to eat healthily and put on weight since she came out of hospital last month, her new album is reportedly an attempt to recapture her childhood.

The unnamed track goes: "I can cook, chicken soup, meatballs, a good chicken - jerk and fried."

Amy revealed that she used to pop into the kitchen of her favourite boozer The Hawley Arms, grab some frozen mince, and make meatballs for her pals after boozy nights out.

After the whole 'Amy rushed to hospital for a "reaction to some medication"' kerfuffle last week, which left most sane humans wondering what "reaction to some medication" was the new euphemism for, it's good to see that Dad Winehouse has aired his thoughts on the reason for his daughter's emergency admittance.

In short, he reckons someone spiked her drink with ecstasy. Ohhh Mitch, you keep dreamin', old son.

A source said: 'Mitch is furious. He's certain someone put E in Amy's drink - and he's determined to get to the bottom of it.

'He is convinced that one of her hangers-on was responsible and he's waiting for a toxicology report to show what caused her to have a fit.

Look, I know it's never big nor cool to mock the afflicted, and I'm sure Winegums' whole "OMG rushed to hospital" ordeal was, like, totally nail-biting, but I couldn't help but laugh at dad Mitch Winehouse's apparent exclamations to the crowd that gathered as Amy was being poured into the ambulance the other day, because, well, you'll work it out:

Distraught Mitch, 54, was heard shouting: "She's f***** up, she's f***** up," The Sun newspaper in England reported.

You know, I'm starting to worry that covering Winegums Watch is desensitising me; I think the signs are there - the other day I bit the head off a fluffy kitten and spat it in the face of some children suffering from incurable diseases, and all I wanted to do afterwards was body shots. Then I punched a hole in the side of a church collections box and spent the money on Mad Magazine. What the hell is happening to me?