Well, the name-change bit might be a stretch, but it seems the days when Robbie was a chipper lad about town are well and truly over. First he refused to join in the Take That reunion party, then he started growing a crazy-man beard, then he started enthusing about mysterious phenomena, and now it seems Robbie must be doing little more than sitting in a dark room filled with those old 'I WANT TO BELIEVE' posters and wearing an XXXL t-shirt with an alien smoking a bong on it saying 'Take Me To Your Dealer!' Yes, Mr Rock DJ has definitely entered the arena of the unwell:

Robbie, 34, said a weird black light flew into his recording studio in Los Angeles and out again as he and pals watched stunned.

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There's a question I bet you didn't think you'd be asked any time soon! Yes, Chantelle Barry is back! You may remember her from the storied first ever season of Australian Popstars, where she kicked butt all the way from Perth - until she was accused of stealing from her fellow Bardot members, and summarily ejected from the group, the show and, seemingly, the industry. Well, you may or may not be pleased to hear that she's snared herself a gig on the remake of 90210! Which is all well and good, but I had to stifle a laugh when I saw how those jokesters over at news.com.au and the Tele had chosen to describe her career's turn for the better:

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Thanks to a video posted on comedian Tom Green's website shows, we can see that he's taking care of himself and in peak physical condition.

And by that, we mean Billy Bob Thornton-esque. As Stereogum so eloquently puts it, "Why is he talking like Sling Blade?"

Much thanks to reader Marcus for the story tip off (send you own tips to, oddly enough, tips at defamer.com.au, why don't you?) - Fred Durst rambling on in a strange accent is an oddly pleasing way to wile away a Tuesday afternoon.

The answer to the question posed by that title is naturally, "TABLOID HEAVEN!"

But first of all, remember Blue? They had that vaguely legalese-related "hit" song All Rise, did a bad cover of Signed, Sealed, Delivered, I'm Yours (which they somehow managed to convince both Stevie Wonder and Jill Scott to appear on), and Lee Ryan from the band offended just about everyone by whining, immediately post-9/11, "Who gives a f--k about New York when elephants are being killed?"

If any of those career "highlights" ring your bells, you'll be pleased as punch with this little corker from the Daily Mail:

Former boyband star Lee Ryan is expecting a baby with a fan who sent him revealing pictures of herself on the internet.

The Blue singer has fallen head over heels for Samantha Miller and the pair are planning to marry.

Ryan began dating the 20-year-old blonde after she posted a number of sexy photographs on his MySpace page.

The 25-year-old - who was previously engaged to Atomic Kitten star Liz McClarnon - asked her out on a date immediately and twosome have been inseparable since.

'He described the pictures as "well hot,"' a friend told the Sunday Mirror.

Evidently Miller "was a huge fan of the group and even had a poster of Ryan on her bedroom wall". See? Dreams can come true! Just ask Katie Holmes! Who'll tell you they then turn into nightmares.

Perhaps it's the insanity inducing lack of sleep, or a strange side effect of the crippling fear brought on by the realisation there are some things you just can't control (<--- THIS MAY BE RELEVANT IN A WEEK AND A BIT, DO REMEMBER I WARNED YOU), but the Wikipedia entry for Big Brother 2003, specifically the Where Are They Now section, managed to muster up a few crazed giggles from yours truly.

Leah

Leah was known for being one of the louder housemates, which caused her nomination and then eviction. She currently spends her life on an internet forum.

Carlo

Bathed in the outdoors laundry trough.

That's pretty much those two summed up completely then. Which forum is Leah on, I wonder? Also, which one was Leah? How quickly we forget. I remember Carlo because he was a tool and jammed dishwashing aids into his foreskin for larks, but Leah? Totally drawing a blank.

Remember Eden Gaha? The host of Vidiot? The occasional musical theatre performer and sometime Home & Away pin-up from the '90s?

He's been in the States for some time now, and has had considerable success as a producer of reality television, working with Mark Burnett and others, and is currently producing a second series of Celebrity Apprentice.

All standard industry, back-slapping the successful expat stuff, but we did find his comments regarding local versions of US reality franchises quite telling (in light of So You Think You Can Dance Australia ending up a pale imitation of the OG version):

Locally made reality television shows have been met with mixed success in Australia, with audiences tending to favour reality programs produced in the US.

While Gaha agrees shows such as So You Think You Can Dance have been successfully adapted for Australian audiences, he says the American character tends to lend itself more easily to some reality formats.

"Some of the shows and some of the formats mean more in the United States so they mean more to American contestants and they play out better on TV, so that's possibly why those shows have done better with American casts."

American Series Two winner Benji ended up in an Xtina video, ferchrissakes! With the Australian version it's all a bit, "So what? Even if I win I'll still have to wait tables/teach toddlers jazz ballet/be on the Dole."

While Defamer Australia are huge fans of Australia's Next Top Model Cycle 3 winner Alice Burdeu, we were also gunning big-time for Cycle 2 winner, Eboni Stocks.

She was funny, bitchy and gorgeous, and we were sure she'd do great things if her photoshoots on the show were anything to go by. Sadly for Eboni and for our hopes and dreams for her, things didn't really go as planned - bar brawls, belligerent interviews, modelling gigs focusing only on her legs - and while Burdeu jets around the world booking editorials, it pays to take pause to check in with Eboni:

Confidential stumbled across the trouble-plagued Stocks ferrying plates of food to customers at Waterloo restaurant Pavarotti - marking the second time the 22-year-old has resorted to working in the service industry since she was crowned Australia's next top model in 2006.

Stocks, whose public profile is dotted with controversial incidents - including charges of obstructing police - started working at the eatery last week.

Pavarotti manager Frank Purcell admitted he had given the leggy brunette a job because he felt sorry for the failed catwalker.

"She's a good girl and she's had a tough time," Purcell told Confidential.

"She asked me for some casual work and so far she's turned out to be a great waitress."

Likewise, fashion and modelling is as fickle as the wind, unfortunately, and nothing sums it up like this unfortunate little alert that popped up when we were browsing for Eboni this morning:

We feel your pain, Eboni - we were voted 'Most Likely To Be A Movie Star' in our Year 12 yearbook, and did it happen? No it didn't.

You know us pretty well by now; we like to keep tabs on our pop stars, whether former or current, so this little tidbit - offered over drinks last night - was right up our alley:

Which flame-haired, "edgy" pop singer - always pegged as "the talented one" - who left the confines of her manufactured ensemble to launch a lucrative career in "edgy" theatre and R&B/dance was recently spotted lining up with all the other young professionals as they "auditioned" for a great job as... an ANZ bank teller?

Just remember the nine-to-five can be poison.

Funny how Lianne Morgan - aka the one you didn't even know was dumped from the Spice Girls before they made it big - didn't think to say anything about her failed shot at pop stardom until a) the Spicies were on their mega-selling reunion world tour and b) she was launching her website and downloadable songs, isn't it?

Yes, Morgan, who was in the initial lineup of the group before being booted for Mel C, has aired her displeasure at not having been given a chance at stardom because she was apparently "too old" at 23, and thinks she had the best voice of any of them.

The hopefuls were whittled down to five – Lianne, Victoria, Geri, Mel B and Michelle Stephenson – who would soon be sacked and replaced by Emma Bunton.

Lianne was not immediately impressed with her new band.

"We sounded like a cat's choir," she said.

But, still excited, she swapped numbers with the rest of the girls and headed back to Wales to wait for her pop career to take off.

A month later she received a letter telling her she was too old for the group and was replaced by Sporty Spice Melanie Chisholm, who was three years younger.

"I cried for days," she said.

"I couldn't understand how I could be too old, when I was the same age as Geri."

In any case, if she is such an amazing vocalist, we'll be watching www.liannemorgan.co.uk with keen interest over the next few weeks. No doubt the Spice Girls will be dropped from their record label as this new singing superstar is rocketed straight to the top!

With the current season of UK celebreality favourite, I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here (which could reasonably be retitled "B-List In The Jungle" or "I Used To Be A Celebrity, Get Me On This Show") in full flight, Fred and Richard Fairbrass - aka Right Said Fred - have taken that as a sign that they are not going to make it into contention.

Which is, obviously, disappointing considering a little I'm Too Sexy might have been all the show's Z-list hook-ups and spazz-outs needed to tip it into true trash greatness.

Lead singer Richard Fairbrass told The Sun: “We’re leaving. That’s it. It’s been a lot of wasted time. We’re looking forward to getting home now and back into our own beds.

“It’s been a funny old week.”

Baldy brothers Richard and Fred have been staying at the £500 a night Versace hotel on Australia’s Gold Coast hoping to join I’m A Celebrity.

ITV said: “We regret it’s not possible to have them on this year.”

A week hanging out in Palazzo Versace? Boo freaking hoo!