We've heard of (and often tried) a lot of ways to ladder-climb in Hollywood, but "superstar tax-evasion defence attorney" is one we had pretty far down our list, just above "blogger." Still, that's not stopping Robert Bernhoft and Robert Barnes (or simply "the Bobs," as Portfolio refers to them in its November issue) from parlaying their momentum from last spring's Wesley Snipes trial into a kind of Malibu-based, Uncle Sam-swatting empire. "Wait," you ask, "didn't Wesley Snipes get three years in prison for misdemeanor tax evasion?" True, but these pinstriped paragons of justice have their own brazen, slightly lawyerly way of looking at it.

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To add yet another unlikely wrinkle to the Wesley Snipes Totally Fucking Insane Tax-Avoidance Trial of the Century, artful Uncle Sam-dodger Wesley Snipes has convinced a judge (and, we suspect, unabashed Murder at 1600 fanatic) to release the actor on bail pending an appeal to his three-year sentence for accidentally forgetting in which shoe box he placed the IRS's $38 million cheque:

Snipes had been set to surrender to federal prison authorities during the first week of June to begin serving his sentence, and prosecutors had earlier vowed to oppose any request to allow him to remain free pending an appeal.

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The 24 hours since Wesley Snipes's three-year prison sentence for tax evasion have allowed for some perspective-gathering among the crack legal analysts at Defamer HQ. Sifting through the wreckage, we think we've discovered the key weak spots in the Snipes defence that, if only someone had acted sooner, could have kept our 18th (19th?) favourite action star a free man. Don't let this happen to you; follow the jump for a glimpse at the Chuck Norris factor and other Achilles' heels in Snipes's strategy.

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Word just over the transom at Defamer HQ notes that Wesley Snipes's tax-evasion hobby will cost him dearly — as in three years in federal prison. Not even character-boosting letters from Denzel Washington and Woody Harrelson were enough in the end to save Snipes from his fate, which was saluted today by US attorney Robert O'Neill: "[Y]ou have to pay your taxes. ... To continually just say, 'I don't owe taxes, you must show me why I owe taxes,' it seemed his position was ludicrous."

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The Smoking Gun has uncovered yet another gem in Wesley Snipes's "Oops! I failed to pay $38 million to the IRS—but isn't that what the 861 Argument loophole is really there for? It isn't? Well, then, you're all racist!" Trial of the Century, reprinting two character reference letters recently penned by Denzel Washington and Woody Harrelson. (You may recall that Snipes was acquitted of federal tax-fraud and conspiracy charges, but was convicted of a lesser count of failing to file tax returns, punishable by a potential jail term of up to 3 years.)

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The Wesley Snipes Totally Fucking Insane Tax-Avoidance Trial of the Century finally came to a close this afternoon in a Florida courtroom, where the Passenger 57 star and IRS Most Wanted Fading Action Hero was acquitted of federal tax-fraud and conspiracy charges, but was convicted of a lesser count of failing to file tax returns, a development that reduces his potential jail time from 16 to 3 years. His co-defendants, the renegade accountant and charismatic tax-protest-leader-cum-minister who will be portrayed by Paul Giamatti and Katt Williams (respectively) in the eventual, lightly fictionalized buddy-fugitive comedy based on this wild chapter of Snipes' life, were not so lucky, earning convictions on the aforementioned fraud and conspiracy charges.

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At today's court proceedings for The Wesley Snipes Totally Fucking Insane Tax-Avoidance Trial of the Century, the actor's lawyer conceded that while his client's statements about how he wound up in this unfortunate predicament might bear the faint whiff of batshit, the tensions between Snipes and the IRS are over honestly arrived-at "disagreements," not something uglier like "fraud." Reports the AP: "Defense attorney Robert Barnes conceded Snipes' arguments may have been crazy, but insisted that didn't make them criminal. 'Disagreement with the IRS is not fraud of the IRS, is not deception,' Barnes said. 'It was an attempt to engage the IRS, to go through the IRS procedures and processes and see who's right.'" [Yahoo! News]

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Wesley Snipes, the world's surliest vampire hunter, is about to go to trial on some SERIOUS tax evasion charges. Whoopsy daisy, seems that Blade forgot to declare and pay taxes on the $38 million that he made between 1999 and 2004 (we're thinking he made about $38 from 2005 until the present). But The Smoking Gun, being the document sleuths that they are, got their rubber-gloved hands on a document that Wesley filed with an Orange County (FLA, not CA) comptroller back in 2005. We used our computer's highly advanced Ctrl+Alt+Print Screen functionality to grab the image you see above, an image so confusing that it provokes more questions than it could ever possibly answer. First off, is that a hand-drawn self-portrait? It's like Van Gogh meets Rothko meets Rorshach! And second of all, that blood type! Does that mix with AB Negative? We must know. Lastly, that penmanship! We haven't seen so many swirls in a signature since Peggy Sue got married. But wait, there's more!

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Hope continues to dwindle for Wesley Snipes, whose movie star currency has tumbled mightily since his 1990s action hero heights, and who now faces trial on his October indictment for six years' worth of tax evasion. (What - you've never cried "861 argument" to get out of paying the IRS?) Left with few options, the actor once again finds himself falling back on his trusty Passenger 57 roulette-playing advice: "Always bet on black." From The Smoking Gun:

In a motion to dismiss an eight-count indictment filed last October, Snipes argues that he is the victim of selective prosecution. Snipes points to the fact that his two "Caucasian" codefendants, Douglas Rosile and Eddie Kahn, have not been charged with failure to file tax returns...

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