valentines day disappointments
Flotsam & Jetsam
4:38PM Jess McGuire | Those clever clogs over at RolledEdge have helpfully compiled a list of the five worst Valentine’s Day presents one can give and/or receive on February 14th. It is insightful, and it made me chuckle.
EXAMPLE.
HEART SHAPED CHOCOLATES – A thousand times – no. These things are so kitsch that they make Anne Geddes look alt rock. I can’t imagine the level of latent depression at the factory where these things are made. The workers must look at each other and shrug – ‘people really buy this crap? And they give it to someone they say they love? ARE YOU SERIOUS?’.
Note: Your Editor will happily accept chocolates as a gift, heart shaped or not.
MORE: Valentine’s Day – Part 1 (RolledEdge) More »
Gifts You Shouldn’t Give To Someone You Care About Tomorrow
4:38PM Jess McGuire | Those clever clogs over at RolledEdge have helpfully compiled a list of the five worst Valentine’s Day presents one can give and/or receive on February 14th. It is insightful, and it made me chuckle.
EXAMPLE.
HEART SHAPED CHOCOLATES – A thousand times – no. These things are so kitsch that they make Anne Geddes look alt rock. I can’t imagine the level of latent depression at the factory where these things are made. The workers must look at each other and shrug – ‘people really buy this crap? And they give it to someone they say they love? ARE YOU SERIOUS?’.
Note: Your Editor will happily accept chocolates as a gift, heart shaped or not.
MORE: Valentine’s Day – Part 1 (RolledEdge) More » 
People
11:56AM Jess McGuire | Are you familiar with Ashley Cheadle? Apparently she’s a surfer chick who is the face of Billabong and occasionally acts, although in my mind she’s most famous for her stirring appearance in the late night Proactiv informercials. Anyway, she’s single and looking for Valentines Day looooove, fellas. But only if your name is not Mark Philippoussis.
Sydney surfer and actor Ashley Cheadle is in the market for love this Valentine’s Day – but she has no plans to get involved with love rat Mark Philippoussis again.
Poor The Poo. You break Delta Goodrem’s heart just once and you’re forever referred to as a “love rat” in the media.
And in Mark’s defence, I have it on good authority that he was most definitely single when he began hanging out with Paris Hilton. Or at the very least, his ex was pashing on with a cameraman at an awards ceremony around the same time, so he shouldn’t feel too bad about how things turned out.
Back to Ashley Cheadle. I hear you thinking “Involved with love rat Mark Philippoussis again? When were they ever involved?!”
Let’s hear it straight from the horse’s mouth. More »
Ashley Cheadle Rejects The Romantic Advances Of The Poo
11:56AM Jess McGuire | Are you familiar with Ashley Cheadle? Apparently she’s a surfer chick who is the face of Billabong and occasionally acts, although in my mind she’s most famous for her stirring appearance in the late night Proactiv informercials. Anyway, she’s single and looking for Valentines Day looooove, fellas. But only if your name is not Mark Philippoussis.
Sydney surfer and actor Ashley Cheadle is in the market for love this Valentine’s Day – but she has no plans to get involved with love rat Mark Philippoussis again.
Poor The Poo. You break Delta Goodrem’s heart just once and you’re forever referred to as a “love rat” in the media.
And in Mark’s defence, I have it on good authority that he was most definitely single when he began hanging out with Paris Hilton. Or at the very least, his ex was pashing on with a cameraman at an awards ceremony around the same time, so he shouldn’t feel too bad about how things turned out.
Back to Ashley Cheadle. I hear you thinking “Involved with love rat Mark Philippoussis again? When were they ever involved?!”
Let’s hear it straight from the horse’s mouth. More »
People
11:48AM Jess McGuire | Oh wow – Penelope Cruz and yours truly have something in common! You see, we both know Valentines Day will only lead to disappointment for us because it was created by people who suck cock in hell!
Penelope Cruz has never received a Valentine’s Day card. The actress – who doesn’t like talking about her private life – has always been left disaspointed on the romantic day. She said: “I do not like talking about love. It is too revealing. But I have had so much love in my life, and I am always open to it. Valentine’s Day cards means nothing to me. I have never sent one – and never had one.
Actually, I suppose that’s less her saying Valentines Day will leave her bitterly disappointed, and more her saying that every day of her life is one glorious romantic experience after another. So I suppose what I’m really trying to say here is that Penelope Cruz sucks cock in hell too. No surprise, really.
MORE: Penelope Cruz’ Valentines sorrow More »
Penelope Cruz Isn’t Looking Forward To Valentines Day
11:48AM Jess McGuire | Oh wow – Penelope Cruz and yours truly have something in common! You see, we both know Valentines Day will only lead to disappointment for us because it was created by people who suck cock in hell!
Penelope Cruz has never received a Valentine’s Day card. The actress – who doesn’t like talking about her private life – has always been left disaspointed on the romantic day. She said: “I do not like talking about love. It is too revealing. But I have had so much love in my life, and I am always open to it. Valentine’s Day cards means nothing to me. I have never sent one – and never had one.
Actually, I suppose that’s less her saying Valentines Day will leave her bitterly disappointed, and more her saying that every day of her life is one glorious romantic experience after another. So I suppose what I’m really trying to say here is that Penelope Cruz sucks cock in hell too. No surprise, really.
MORE: Penelope Cruz’ Valentines sorrow More » 