val kilmer
Val’s Your Bacchus King
4:28AM Seth | Val Kilmer will preside over the Krewe of Bacchus parade that strolls through New Orleans two days before Mardi Gras, blissfully intoxicated on a heady mixture of beignet creme and boxed wine. More »
New Mexico Gov. Val Kilmer To Offer Attractive Tax Incentives To Productions Willing To Cast Him
4:01AM Seth | Amazingly, Norm Coleman’s wafer-thin lead over Al Franken in Minnesota’s Senate race continues to erode, with the latest numbers suggesting the former SNL star now trails his Republican foe by exactly one-half vote. (The single ballot bears a crescent moon inside a Republican circle, accompanied by the perplexing message, “It’s Norm Tonight!”). In other celebrity-career-change news, Val Kilmer—yes, the Val Kilmer, soon to be seen as a Dorff-hunting mercenary out to avenge the assassination of a President Palin-alike in an NBC movie of the week—has informed Pomeranian-herding gossipsaur Cindy Adams that he plans on running for the governorship of New Mexico: More »
Uncannily Palinesque President to Be Assassinated in New NBC Miniseries
4:20AM STV | Perhaps we spoke too soon emphasizing Tina Fey’s status as our go-to Sarah Palin doppelganger, but we never really spotted an alternative that signaled the same hair-up, hockey-mum charm radiated by the Alaska governor. Until today, that is, and how’s this for context: According to NBC’s Web site, its fall miniseries/video game adaptation XIII “begins dramatically as the first female U.S. President is shot dead by a sniper during her Veteran’s Day speech.” It was a classy-enough touch to anticipate Hillary Clinton’s candidacy, we suppose, but casting Mimi Kuzyk as doomed Palin-lookalike Sally Sheridan was just prescience gone spectacularly wrong. The enlarged photo follows the jump. More »
Kate Bosworth: ‘No Sober Sex Scenes For Me, Thankyouverymuch’
9:50AM Molly Friedman | This may shock many of you, but we’ve been hearing rumours for years that giving girls a few drinks can make them feel more romantically adventurous. And, according to People, this very rumour was put into action when 21 star Kate Bosworth shot her love scenes with co-star Jim Sturgess. As she recently admitted at a New York screening, “We were both so drunk…Jim and I became such good friends, we decided to have a couple of drinks, loosen up and go for it.” Which got us thinking: seeing as how Kate’s been required to do the whole sex scene thing with quite a few actors over they years, what other combination of sedatives, drugs and drinks must she have had to pop and sip in order to get down and dirty with the likes of James Van Der Beek and (gulp) Kevin Spacey? More »
Note To Lisa Marie Presley: You’re Not The First Star To Be Called ‘Fat’ By A Magazine
6:36AM Molly Friedman | Newly pregnant Lisa Marie Presley is filing a lawsuit against our favorite celebrity body part attacking rag, The Daily Mail, after they reported their disapproval of just how much junk she’s packing in her trunk these days. And while the Mail’s use of “packing on the pounds” and “gained weight just like her father Elvis” isn’t the nicest way to describe her, we’ve heard much worse over the years. From Val Kilmer (”Batman To Fatman!”) to Kirstie Alley (”Too Fat For Sex!”), we rounded up some of the nastier cover stories and worst beach body analyses to put poor Lisa Marie’s hormone-filled mind at ease. More »
‘Us’ Calls Out Fatties With Their ‘Hunk To Chunk’ Photographic Retrospective
9:42AM Molly Friedman | For the first time in recorded history, we actually felt sorry for poor chubster Kevin Federline yesterday. After all, as those golfing pictures revealed, that he’s now sporting a Buddha big enough to hamper his golf swing. But apparently the slideshow-happy folks at Us Weekly didn’t share our sympathies; in the wake of the revelation of Fat K-Fed, they’ve posted a slideshow featuring other formerly thin celebs who’ve gone from “hunk to chunk” in recent years. But being the stubborn argumentative types that we are, we’re going to have to disagree with their take on all of these pound-packers’ alleged downfalls. Sure, Clay Aiken’s no prize these days (was he ever?), and Alec Baldwin certainly looked sexier in Glengarry Glen Ross than he currently does on 30 Rock, but a few members of Us‘ Fatso Club actually look far hotter with some extra meat on their bones. Our rebuttals, with pictorial evidence, after the jump.
Val Kilmer Replaces Will Arnett As Voice Of K.I.T.T. Due To Conflict Of Truck-Pimping Interest
8:30AM Mark | In an unexpected development sure to rock the sentient-sportscar-voiceover world, Variety reports NBC has announced that it’s had to make an 11th hour substitution in its casting of KITT for the network’s soon-to-debut Knight Rider movie, rushing last-minute saviour Val Kilmer (Val Kilmer!) into the studio to redo all of the dialogue already recorded by outgoing Mustang-inhabitor Will Arnett. More »
‘National Enquirer’ Reminds Us That Celebrities Drown Their Holiday Sorrows In Eggnog And Fruitcake, Just Like Us!
8:45AM Defamer Hollywood | Predating the rest of the tabloid-come-latelys by many decades has given rack-based supermarket literature giant National Enquirer the clear advantage in the art of front-page editing: More »
