unlikely celebrity romances that aren’t actually happening

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun: The Kylie & Natalie Story

11:04AM Jess McGuire | We had no idea Kylie Minogue and Natalie Imbruglia were BFFs, but it seems the pair have graduated from champagne fueled post-Brits flexibility competitions to holidaying together! Pop stars Kylie Minogue and Natalie Imbruglia have teamed up for a girls’ holiday in Mauritius. The Australian stars, who have both starred in Neighbours, have been staying at a luxury £3000-a-night ($6300) Shanti Ananda resort on the tropical island. The Sunday Mirror newspaper in Britain reported the stars, who are both single after Minogue’s split with French actor Oliver Martinez and the breakdown of Imbruglia’s marriage to Silverchair frontman Daniel Johns, were being pampered. We can only imagine the gossipy conversations going on as we speak, the petite pair lying side by side on massage tables and having the stresses of the pop world rubbed and pounded out of them. K: Do you really think Olivier was cheating on me? N: Of course not! Do you really think Daniel was bumming Paul Mac? K: No way! N: Oh, great. Hey, do you like Razorlight? K: They’re okay, I suppose. That reminds me, how’d you enjoy that DVD I lent you? N: Bio-Dome? Hilarious! K: And, you know, you were really good in Johnny English. N: Thanks, babe. Do you think I’m prettier than Delta Goodrem? K: Bitch, please. You are SO much better than her! N: I know. I dated someone from Friends, you know. K: I kissed Doctor Who. N: Wanna go have some shots and flirt with the bar staff? K: Lets. There is another highly idiotic way to interpret this news. Kylie and Natalie are holidaying together, eh? A… romantic getaway perhaps? Did Daniel Johns mean to tack on “… but my fucking ex-wife is!” to the end of his Big Day Out outburst? Well, no. Probably not. But imagine how fucking awesome it would be if these two unlucky in love Australian pop starlets found love in each other’s bony arms? More »

Romance You Didn’t Actually Know Was Happening Confirmed As Not Happening At All

10:47PM Jess McGuire | We haven’t felt so surprised at the alleged teaming up of a couple of love birds since Bruce Willis was rumoured to be doing unfatherly things to Lindsay Lohan – did you know Paul McCartney and Renee Zellweger were possibly dating? Did you? Well, if you didn’t – there was word (somewhere, muttered by someone) that the pair were dating. Except now it turns out that they’re not. Actress Renee Zellweger has played down reports she is romantically involved with music legend Sir Paul McCartney. The Beatle, 65, was spotted partying with the Bridget Jones’s Diary star, 38, at a Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers gig in New York on Saturday (25Aug07). But friends of the actress insist the pair are “just good friends”. A source tells the New York Daily News, “I don’t believe there’s anything between them. We’ll be sure to keep you up to the minute with further reports of celebrities you had no idea had even met and their non-existent romantic status. More »