tony romo

Who Will Play Role Of Jessica Simpson’s Boyfriend In Papa Joe’s Sequel To ‘Pimp My Daughter’?

9:20AM Molly Friedman | At this point in Jessica Simpson’s sad, sad career, it’s become clear that her only chance of making headlines is by sleeping with a new guy, getting dumped by that new guy, or whining over one of the many guys who’ve dumped and/or slept with her. As we learned this week, her most recent conquest — QB Tony Romo, who Jessica called “her future husband” in Glamour’s March issue before admitting that “this article could come out and Tony and I could be broken up” — rid himself of the Game Day Curse just as her ex-fling John Mayer was popping up all over the weeklies swapping spit with Jennifer Aniston and her fembot nips. Naturally, Jessica reacted by drinking herself silly and, we presume, making several late-night calls to her Dadager, Papa Joe, requesting her next romantic PR stunt stat. So the question is: which lucky bachelors will Joe pay off set her up with this time to guarantee continuous coverage of his darling daughter? Our suggestions, after the jump.

Papa Joe Simpson Officially More Ruinous To Daughters’ Lives Than Dina Lohan

7:00AM Molly Friedman | Has Joe Simpson gone from a pimpy fame-hungry Dadager to a bonafide nutcase? Not that we’re surprised or anything, but his recent interferences with daughter Jessica’s “relationship” with quarterback Tony Romo suggest there may be a few gurney-riding trips in his future. As OK! reports this week, Joe’s intrusive behaviour has Romo’s family feeling like their son is being used and, even more disturbing, he showed up uninvited to a private Mexico vacation Jess and Tony took earlier this year. According to OK’s source, “Whatever hopes Tony had of his relationship with Jessica turning into something real pretty much ended with Joe’s stunt. According to his friends, they’re pretty much just friends with benefits.” But judging from Jess’s romantic past, isn’t Friend With Benefits pretty much her primary career these days? More »

Our Top Three Conspiracy Theories Regarding Jessica Simpson’s ‘Kidney Infection’

9:00AM Molly Friedman | Singer/actress/Game Day curse Jessica Simpson was recently treated for a kidney infection at Cedars-Sinai, according to People today. Though her rep assures us she’s been released and is doing just fine, our ears tend to perk up whenever we hear of a troubled starlet being rushed to the hospital for all kinds of issues, be they asthma attacks or a simple case of the Batshits. But this is the first time in recent memory that a celeb has attributed their hospital visit to the kind of condition one generally (well, pretty much always) associates with the joy of sex. We did a bit of research, and came up with our top three guesses on what (or who) sent Jess to the operating table, after the jump. More »

Papa Joe Simpson Strikes Again, Taking Down Jess’s ‘Career’ One Cease And Desist at a Time

8:34AM Defamer Hollywood | We know that we’re only eight years into the Aughts, but we’re pretty sure that Joe Simpson has got the Worst Father Of The Decade Award wrapped up. Ever since the sinister minister took the reigns of boobalicious daughter Jessica’s “career” (which was like, on her 2nd birthday), he’s managed to turn his dingbat cupcake into an oh-no-she-didn’t laughingstock (ChickenOrFishGate 2004, anyone?), a divorcee at 25, and a has-been in the music industry. Oh, and then there’s the rousing success story that was Blonde Ambition (still stuck at $US6,422). The latest double-whack Joe’s served to Jess include setting her up on a doomed-from-the-start fiasco of a relationship with Cowboys QB Tony Romo, who’s since dumped her admittedly fine ass, and now, turning against the always Simpsons-friendly OK Magazine by (yes, really) handing them a “strongly worded letter” demanding a retraction. More »

Jessica Simpson’s Hot Streak Finally Comes To An End

11:00AM Defamer Hollywood | Hot off the triumphant and record-setting B.O. run of “Blonde Ambition” ($6,422 and counting!), Jessica Simpson attempted to channel her patented blend of moxie and can-do spirit into being a dutiful girlfriend to new(ish) boyfriend Tony Romo, who just so happens to be the quarterback of the Dallas Cowboys. Unfortunately for Romo and his teammates, Simpson’s runaway success at luring everyday joes to our nation’s cineplexes did not translate into good luck for America’s Team yesterday. The Cowboys were eliminated from the NFL playoffs by the New York Football Giants, a team eager to prove their mettle in the last days before Giant Fucking Monsters attack the isle of Manhattan. Now Cowboy fans are directing their wrath towards Miss Simpson, claiming that her double Ds distracted Romo when he should’ve been preparing for the game. Um, duh? [US Magazine] More »