After Confidential speculated yesterday that Todd McKenney could be being shown the door at Dancing With The Stars HQ, it turns out it's not the acid-tongued tall poppy who is on the way out, but instead fellow judge Paul "New Steps" Mercurio who will be let go from the panel. Now who will we turn to on network television to remind us how much we all enjoy reciting lines from Strictly Ballroom? To quote that very film, that was unexpected!

Mercurio was told yesterday he was no longer required on the judging panel of Channel 7's hit show Dancing with the Stars.

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As Dancing With The Stars gears up for another season of laffs and... I can't think of a dance move that rhymes with "laffs", having assigned a host and announced its "stars", it looked as though everything was set to move along nicely - only now Confidential has gone and dropped a fly in the Dance Tan by suggesting that beleaguered judge Todd McKenney may not have a seat on the panel this time around:

With controversial judge Todd McKenney already on serious drugs charges, TV insiders speculated yesterday the trouble-plagued performer could find himself on the bench again.

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Todd McKenney, I think I love you.

Police allegedly asked McKenney how he came to be in such a state and discovered a small quantity of the drug in a trouser pocket.

When he saw the drug McKenney allegedly told police he recognised it to be GHB, but emphatically denied ownership or using it.

Later in his record of interview McKenney told police he had been to a party on Anzac Day eve at an apartment in McLeay Street, Potts Point, and had danced so much that he began to overheat and had taken his pants off to continue dancing.

Well, we've all been there. In fact, I hear Nikki Webster's dance studio will soon be teaching enthusiastic punters the ins and outs of pants down dancing.

So what have we learned?

The hater responsible for planting $400 worth of drugs on Todd McKenney in an attempt to bring down his skyrocketing career was so dedicated to their nefarious plan, they sneakily went to a party in Potts Point and patiently waited in the shadows (and perhaps turned the heating up in the lounge room, whilst perhaps slipping Feel Good Flared Hits Of The Seventies on the CD player?) until Todd was so overcome by the steamy temperatures, he had to choose between taking off his pants, or ceasing to bust out the moves - and we all know the latter is not an option in McKenney's world. Bam, Mysterious McKenney Hater TM gets access to the Dancing With The Stars judge's trouser pockets, and the drugs are planted. We all know what happened next.

I'm behind you and your believable story 100%, Todd.

While I can't speak for my beloved Defamer Australia Editor, one of the main reasons I stopped watching Big Brother (or, perhaps more accurately, one of the only reasons I watched it for as long as I did) was because of the presence of the wondrous Gretel Killeen.

And since she's been so "under the radar" that she was more or less off it for the past few months, I'm glad Mix 106.5FM's Todd McKenney and Sonia "Tina Sparkle" Kruger have thought to ask her how she feels about the show grinding forward in her absence:

"I think it's much better not to have seen it," she said.

"I wouldn't want to say its time has come or gone because it's not fair to the people who are doing it.

I think people can sometimes exaggerate where the ratings are."

Killeen also said she did not regret leaving the show, saying she was "ready to go".

"I was ready to go, I'd done it for seven years," she said.

Right, well, that settles it, doesn't it? Hopefully Gretel will return her hand to writing young adult fiction; My Life Is A Toilet remains one of the funniest books I have ever read, and its narrator Fleur's description of a bloke as being "about as sexy as a soap with a pubic hair stuck on it" could well stretch to describe replacement host Kyle Sandilands.

Where oh where is Todd McKenney? That was the question for the braying pack of press types outside Downing Centre Local Court when the Mix 106.5FM breakfast host failed to turn up to face charges of possessing GHB. Why he's even having to appear in front of a judge over this issue is beyond me, the man explained quite clearly that a playa hater planted $400 worth of drugs on him in a fiendish plot to bring down the McKenney empire, and that explanation is good enough for me.

McKenny was on air this morning for the 5am-9am breakfast shift and interviewed Australian Idol judge Marica Hines but did not make it to court for his appearance which was listed at 9.30am.

His no-show meant McKenney did not have to face the large media pack waiting for him at the court.

The general manager of Mix 106.5 owner Australian Radio Network, Anthony Fitzgerald, would not comment on why McKenney was running late.

I'm no Columbo, but I'll take a punt and guess that he was late to his scheduled 9.30am court appearance because he was nattering away with Marcia Hines until 9am. Traffic at that time of day is a real bastard, and Sydney Buses can be a little unreliable, so it's unlikely he'd have made it from the studio to Liverpool Street in under half an hour. Still, someone should check the parks just to be on the safe side. Those haters just won't give up sometimes!

Alright, so it's Monday afternoon and we're only just writing about Todd McKenney's long weekend adventures. There's a good reason for that. Occasionally in this blogging caper, a story comes along which is so good, so dramatic, so hilarious, and so unbelievable that even though you have eighteen thousand things to say about it, your noggin actually begins to overload with blogger glee and you're rendered silent for days as you come to terms with how phenomenal the story you're on the verge of writing about is.

You can imagine, then, how our brain whirred out of control when we spoke to Our Gay (Defamer Australia's official Euro Correspondent, Sir Will Fop) late on Saturday night and he piped up "Oh, have you read that Todd McKenney story which has just popped up online? Apparently he's been arrested. Found passed out in a park in the afternoon with GHB in his pocket. He's blaming it on haters, saying he's been framed. Hugh Jackman has put out a statement saying "My heart goes out to him" and called the news absolutely terrible."

DING DING DING DING DING DING! That's the sound of our ability to comprehend such a development reaching its absolute limit.

Thankfully we've had some time to ponder, reflect, and accept. Let's do this shit after the jump.

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The Gods (ie: a magistrate) have passed judgement on Todd McKenney following the Dancing With The Stars judge's drink driving arrest last month, and have punished him thusly.

Dancing with the Stars judge Todd McKenney has lost his licence and been fined for drink driving in central Sydney. McKenney, 42, today pleaded guilty in the Downing Centre Local Court to one count of low range drink driving.

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If you're after a quick thousand bucks and you live near Waverley Park in Sydney, you may want to start wandering the streets and yelling "BENJI!" because Dancing With The Stars judge and MIX 106.5FM breakfast host Todd McKenney is offering a reward for the safe return of his neighbour's dog Benji.

McKenney said the dog, a 12-year-old Australian Silky Terrier named Benji, went missing at around 1pm yesterday at Sydney's Waverley Park. McKenney said his dog walker had taken Benji and his two dogs on a walk in the park where two kids ran up to Benji and he just ran away. "He came off his collar, so he doesn't have his name tag on him," he said.

And god bless Todd McKenney, for the man himself has been door knockin' in an attempt to locate this missing canine.

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Tut tut, Todd McKenney. The Dancing With The Stars judge and breakfast radio host was sprung by police driving under the influence on Friday night.

The 42-year-old's Friday night came to an abrupt end when he was pulled over for a random breath test - and allegedly blew over the legal limit. McKenney, who had been driving on Macquarie St in the city at 10.50pm was immediately arrested and then taken to Surry Hills police station for a further breath analysis.

...

He was re-tested and then allegedly found with a 0.05 alcohol reading. McKenney was charged with low-range drink driving and given a court attendance notice.

Naughty. Naturally, Todd is feeling worse for wear (and it's not just the hangover).

"I am bitterly disappointed in myself this has happened," he said. "I can't believe this has happened."

We'll assume he's referring to the drinking and driving, not just getting caught by the fuzz.