Despite the fact that just about everyone and their favourite blog have known that Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are expecting two Chosen Ones this time around, heroin dabbler-turned-UN Ambassador Jolie had yet to officially confirm the news. And until a Today Show interview taped today in Cannes, featuring Jolie and co-star Jack Black promoting their upcoming animated flick Kung Fu Panda, we're pretty sure the very pregnant actress would have kept her lips sealed until the day those magical spawns open their cherubic eyes for the first time. But thanks to an impromptu joke made by Black, Jolie was put on the spot, and clever Today host Natalie Morales took full advantage of it...

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Can you believe it's been eight years since Mrs. Frank Gifford "left" her post as co-host of Regis & Kathie Lee? (Yes kids, before there was Kelly, there was Kathie Lee.) It seems like just yesterday that the former pageant queen was smothering us with her cackling chatter and inane stories. But that was yesterday; this is Today.

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The rather amusing sook-war between Channel Nine and Channel Seven continues (while Channel Ten take advantage of their distraction to win ratings) with the news that a flashmob-esque protest outside Sunrise studios was - according to Sunrise's David "Kochie" Koch - organised by those meddling kids over at the Channel Nine house.

Protesters started chanting "Channel Seven doesn't pay" outside Sunrise HQ when Mel and Kochie were doing their trademark farewell from outside the studio just before 9am.

As the pair went to cross to Hollywood correspondent Nelson Aspen, the protesters started chanting, completely drowning out the confused-looking hosts.

After several seconds, the audio to the Seven duo was cut, and only Nelson’s voice could be heard.

Upon the camera’s return to the hosts, a security guard could be seen standing in front of the now-quietened crowd.

After an ad break, the pair appeared inside on the couch, with Mel downplaying the incident and promising the station would look into the protesters’ claims.

Kochie took it one step further however, claiming it was an ambush by rival station Channel 9’s A Current Affair about Seven’s show National Bingo Night.

He told viewers Nine had not even approached Seven for comment and that its ambush tactics were unfair.

Anyway, this all led into a pretty tiresome war of words between Seven and Nine's corporate affairs types about ratings and who was copying who for whose breakfast material.

What they need to realise is that they're both shit and need to join forces in the sort of light entertainment unity not seen since Rove, Eddie McGuire and Andrew O'Keefe hosted the Boxing Day tsunami telethon.

On that day we truly believed the world had no borders.

Dateline NBC traded in their spy cams normally used for busting Predators (not the ones from space, mind you, the ones that live next door to you) for the Vaseline-gauzed lenses required to shoot Hollywood's biggest and brightest in a two-hour Golden Globe special that aired last night after that pathetically boring Globes presser. During an interview with the universally adored Amy Adams, The Today Show's resident vixen Natalie Morales made an uncomfortable shift from friendly fluffery to attack dog journo mode when she grilled Amy Adams about her, *gasp*, former career as a waitress at Hooters. We haven't seen two girls go at it like this since Wild Things.

In retrospect, we suppose it could've gone down a lot worse. Amy Adams is a true saint for not responding to Natalie Morales clear attempts at baiting her into a catfight (check out the overwhelming look of condecension on Morales' face after she says, "Oh, you had a good time doing that?"). But what we're wondering is this: other than attempting to embarrass Amy Adams on national television (subtext: "Was it fun being a ho?"), what exactly did Morales hope to accomplish with this line of questioning? We've spent hours trying to figure it out, and we can't come up with anything. All we know for sure is that not even Chris Hansen would have stooped this low.

On this morning's Today show, early-rising interrogator Matt Lauer broke out the nipple clamps and car battery in hopes of getting some answers out of ex-Britney Spears bodyguard and Spears-Federline Custody Trial of the Century "secret witness" Tony Barretto regarding his shocking accusations that he'd personally observed the twice-rehabbed mother of two abusing unspecified substances in the VIP booth and VVIP bathroom stall of an unidentified L.A. nightclub.

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Last week we were rather amused that the Today Show saw fit to alert its viewers that co-host Karl Stefanovic had broken his diet.

Well, word on the media grapevine is that this Walkley-Award-Winning scoop was called in by a viewer who saw Karl stufing his face with something rather unhealthy, despite carrying on and on and on during the show about how great his health-kick was going.

One of the Today Show's producers then took it upon themselves to "out" Karl without his knowledge.

We take it the same person was behind this liner just before 8am this morning....

With the possibility of a humiliating de-sashing looming, embattled blackmail victim Miss New Jersey bravely subjected herself to the incrementally less severe humiliation of appearing on The Today Show to discuss each and every one of the purloined Facebook photos her tormentor threatened to release, disempowering those who sought to terrorise her. What you will see will shock you. Unless, of course, you ever went to college. Or have ever been drunk. Or have even a vague awareness of the photographs that took down Miss Nevada - who, quite frankly, seems like a lot more fun than her counterpart from the Garden State.

• Miss N.J. releases blackmail photos [Today]

It feels like only yesterday that Paris Hilton was re-jailed after one magical night of luxuriating in the freedom of home-imprisonment, but the moment when she finally emerges from an unjust incarceration and shines as a Mandelaesque beacon of hope to all of those affected by Los Angeles County's oppressive system of celebutardtheid is nigh. And when Hilton exits the Century Regional Detention Facility sometime next week, she will need to be greeted by a television camera and a friendly face to ease her transition into her new role as Goodwill Ambassador for Stuff She Cares About Now.

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It seems that Alan Jones' special brand of prejudice and cock-knockery will no longer be required by Channel Nine's Today show, with the program (well, station bosses) choosing to stop broadcasting Jones' editorials as of mid-June.

The first swing of the axe by the Nine television network's new private-equity owners has fallen on Sydney broadcaster Alan Jones, a long-time Packer family ally, saving up to $100,000 a year.

Jones' 60 to 90 second editorial spot on Nine's morning news and chat show Today, which has been running for the past two decades, will end on June 15.

One less outlet for his spiteful idiocy! Our heart goes out to the close-minded, vitriolic little fucker.

Kellie Connolly, a fill in co-host on Channel 9's Today show, made headlines this morning when she fainted during a cooking segment on the show. The Age reports -

The Nine Network's Today show co-host Kellie Connolly has collapsed on air.

Connolly, a fill-in host on the show, collapsed about 8.10am during a cooking segment with Toby Puttock, of Jamie Oliver fame.

She appeared to faint and was helped up by co-host Richard Wilkins and Puttock.

Connolly appeared dazed and was assisted off the set as the program went to an ad break.

Connolly returned to the presenters desk about 15 minutes later, attributing the dizzy spell to her 3am wake-up.

"Anyway, I'm fine thank you, I'm not pregnant, I'm not diabetic, it was just one of those things,'' she said.

Earlier, Wilkins returned from the ad break reassuring viewers his co-host was okay.

"She had a little moment, she had a dizzy spell, she's fine, especially if you're Kelly's mum, she wants you to know she's fine.''

Connolly was standing in the studio kitchen watching Puttock make an Italian panaforte dessert when she could be heard collapsing while momentarily off camera.

She returned to shot as Puttock and Wilkins were assisting her to her feet, saying: "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine. Sorry guys I might need some of your sugar fixes with the panaforte.

"Do you mind if I go for a walk?''

Connolly is filling in as co-host after Jessica Rowe was recently sacked from the position.

Now, Defamer Australia don't like conjuring up a load of conspiracy theories during times like these, but... no wait. We just like coming up with conspiracy theories. Here are a few things we suspect could be behind Kellie Connolly's mysterious collapse on air.

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