Things just keep getting better and better over at old man Channel Nine's house - after boning, axing and canning their way through the first half of the year, the trend looks like it's going nowhere - Million Dollar Wheel Of Fortune (that's it's full name, a bit like Liliane Rudabet Gloria Elsveta Sobieski, or Reginald Kenneth Dwight) has been cancelled.

You'll probably recall that, like most of the things Nine has boned so far in 2008, it was supposed to be a ratings winner. Not so, apparently!

"We are disappointed that Million Dollar Wheel of Fortune has not done as well as we had hoped," a Nine spokeswoman said.

"We are delighted, however, that the show has brought two great talents to the network, Tim Campbell and Kelly Landry, who are both staying at Nine."

That's a relief - to be honest, Kelly Landry is a bit of an unknown quantity, so good on her for keeping a Nine gig, but most of all I'm just glad to see that the effervescent Tim Campbell lives to see another day of light entertainment television.

All is good with the world.

Just last week it seemed the best thing They could come up with for Lara Bingle's career renaissance was to appear on an advertorial travel show on Nine; hardly worth all the fanfare her return to the tele was generating.

Hold your horses, then, because it looks as though Lara might have something even more spectacularly exciting in store for viewers: SHE MIGHT BE THE NEW ADRIANA XENIDES.

By that we don't mean she'll disappear from public view only to reappear in a haze of driving offences and bizarre medical conditions, but rather that Lara could well be the new "letters girl" on the revamped Wheel Of Fortune.

It's understood Nine is casting for the co-hosting gig of the new-look Wheel Of Fortune with Tim Campbell and Lara, who is currently employed by Nine as part of its Holidays For Sale program, is a frontrunner for the game-show gig.

A rep for Nine yesterday confirmed auditions for the job were being held in Brisbane but stopped short of naming Bingle as one of the starlets in line for the job.

"We are auditioning for the part of co-host at the moment but we would never say who is taking part in those auditions," the spokesperson said.

"I can't say that she is or isn't being considered for the role. I cannot say either way."

Good lord, man/woman, don't keep us hanging like this! IS SHE OR ISN'T SHE?! You are toying with the nerves of fans of crappy afternoon light-entertainment!

We feel Lara would be great for the role. It would finally afford her the chance to learn to read and spell.

We weren't even aware that Channel 9 had nicked the Wheel Of Fortune format from Channel 7, but there it wuz, and apparetly not only are those at Stokes HQ having a big old cry about it (despite the fact that they didn't exactly stoke the Fortune fires; maybe it's one of those "we don't want you but we don't want anyone else to have you" things), but "Baby" John Burgess, he of the 'golden era' of the dizziness-inducing gameshow, is also sooking!

We're not particularly concerned by the career woes of superannuated old showbiz types, but we do like the way in which he celebrated his angst:

"I was told 'Burgo, if we get hold of it, you'll be doing it.' Well they've forgotten about me. Tim Campbell's doing it and I'm sure he'll do a terrific job, but I must admit I am just slightly gutted" he said, before playing Toni Braxton's Unbreak My Heart.

Big gay Burgo! Nothing makes the sadness go away than a bit of Toni Braxton!

It should be noted, however, that he was actually presenting on the radio at the time, not just randomly ringing journalists, while sitting next to a stereo playing sad AOR ballads and wearing lipstick like Steve Buscemi in Billy Madison. More's the pity.

Bless them to bits. Wee pop midget Anthony Callea and his Shout star buddy Tim Campbell spent much of the past few months denying they were anything more than two gay men who loved nothing better than hanging out in a platonic way, but dammit - they've thrown their friendship and caution to the wind and are now officially Australia's Favourite Homosexual Couple In Showbiz! Well, they're probably our only homosexual couple in showbiz (we're not counting Gav and Waz from The Block), so we'll take what we can get.

Ex-Home and Away actor Campbell made it official to Vega's breakfast team yesterday, under tough questioning from ex-Big Brother housemate Chrissie Swan.

"There was stuff written in the paper a while ago . . . and actually Anthony and I are a bit of an item at the moment," Campbell said.

"The question was asked a while ago and we weren't, but we have gotten to a point where we are very happy together."

Our icy heart just melted a little. You go, girlfriend!

The rumour mill has been going into overdrive lately as everyone speculates as to whether newly-single Anthony Callea is in fact dating his "good friend" Tim Campbell.

Well, being the well-connected types we are, we may be able to pour cold water on that particular item. A Defamer Australia pal who works in a Melbourne hairdressing salon frequented by Lil Anthony tells us that Callea used to attend his salon of choice quite regularly with his ex-BF in tow - i.e., he's a man who is not afraid to get his tips frosted with his partner present.

However, our pal says that Anthony has been seen just as regularly since the break-up, flying solo, and looking rather glum and very single.

Doesn't sound like the sort of behaviour you'd expect from a man who is apparently being romantically fed champagne and strawberries by a hot ranga ex-soapie star, does it?

So there you have it - with our network of spies and thanks to our exhaustive powers of deduction, we can - probably - guarantee* that, yes boys, Anthony Callea is still single!

* NB: not a real guarantee.

Despite now both being self-confessed homosexualists, it seems Anthony Callea and Tim Campbell are still resisting their natural need to do impure things to each other, preferring to do lunch at cafes to simply doing each other. But they both have penises! DOESN'T THIS MEAN THEY HAVE TO TAKE TURNS BUMMING EACH OTHER IN A TOILET BLOCK?

Good lord. If the people of Australia can't depend on stereotypes to explain what's going on in the world, what can they depend on? Nothing.

Pop prince Anthony Callea and former Home and Away heartthrob Tim Campbell insist they're just mates.

But the pair continued to strengthen their friendship over lunch at a Williamstown eatery.

A spy said the twosome - who are out and proud (and single) - hid from onlookers at the back of the Atomic cafe, concealing their faces behind caps.

Concealing their faces eh? Because their faces were covered in each other's mangunk? HUH? IS THAT WHAT HAPPENED?

Or, you know, maybe they just like being friends and talking about boys and eating salads and bitching about David Campbell and they'd prefer it if the eyes of the media weren't constantly following them, waiting for one to jump the other's bones.

Yes, it appears to be true. "The ginge you could definitely fuck", Tim Campbell - star of the musical Shout! - will only make your ranga love making dreams come true if you are packing penis. He's out! He's proud! We fucking love him even more than before!

Channel 7 star Tim Campbell has publicly come out to announce he is gay. The former Home and Away actor exclusively told The Advertiser about his sexuality....

"There's nothing in the way of being ashamed about this (but) the label thing worries me a bit because I don't want my work to be affected," he says.

"If every time I'm written about now it's as 'the gay actor' it would bore the hell out of me.

"Coming out at 20 changed me a bit, but at 32, I'm pretty comfortable with who I am and what I'm doing."

Good for you, Tim. But what of Werribee's most successful midget?

Tim reckons both he and Anthony have each broken up with their partners and for now, are just friends.

"(Anthony and I) are mates - he's had his rough trot, I'm going through a rough trot and I'm really concerned for my (ex) partner," Tim says.

Look, Tim. It'd really mean a lot to us if you'd just hook up. Why? Well, there are a number of reasons but the main two would be...

i) We love the idea of the nation's blue-rinse set having a couple of Calamites to love and adore as their very own. We envision touching duets during Carols By Candlelight, photo spreads in Australian Women's Weekly, and perhaps even a reality show? The grannies will lap it up, and you'll do more for gay rights in this country than the success of both Queer Eye and Will & Grace combined.

ii) For fuck's sake, someone has to keep Callea safe from Perez Hilton. AUSTRALIA EXPECTS YOU TO DO YOUR DUTY, CAMPBELL! TAKE HIM TO THE TAN, THEN JUST TAKE HIM!

Only yesterday we were positively frothing at the mouth at the idea of Anthony Callea potentially falling for Darren Hayes should the pair ever stop quietly admiring each other and get on with the task of recording a duet (hey, it worked for Delta and The Potato, didn't it?) but it seems we may have been too hasty.

National Bingo Night host Tim Campbell is said to be helping the pop prince get over his break-up, with the two lads seen hitting the town this week.

After we reported their stroll around the Tan together on Monday night, a spy revealed the pair were at South Yarra bar the Botanical on Saturday night.

It's believed the two became friends last month in WA, where they were both performing in the stage musical Rent.

Campbell has since moved to Anthony's hometown of Melbourne to play the lead role of Australian rocker Johnny O'Keefe in Shout.

Callea's manager yesterday maintained his star and the former Home and Away regular were friends.

"To suggest Anthony and Tim are anything more than colleagues is totally untrue," Wayne Pilkington said.

WE WILL CERTAINLY BE KEEPING AN EYE ON THIS, ANTHONY! Especially since you spent a good couple of years claiming to be a vagina hunter. But you wouldn't lie to us now, surely?

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