the jonas brothers
Camilla Belle Devises The Ultimate Way To Impress Joe Jonas
6:25AM Kyle Buchanan | When you’re an actress dating a famously purity-ring-clad pop singer, how can you out-chastity him? If you’re Camilla Belle, and your beau is Joe Jonas (of the Jonas Brothers, squeeeee!!!!), you go to great lengths. More »
Jonas Brothers Eager To Restore Baz Luhrmann To Greatness
4:25AM STV | The Jonas Brothers are nothing if not high-concept, making their ambitious plot to recruit down-on-his-luck auteur Baz Luhrmann the kind of cinch everyone can agree on. More »
Meet The Newest Wholesome Family Sensation: The Emanuel Brothers!
8:14AM Seth | Pictured on a Disney premiere red carpet is fraternal showbiz sensation the Emanuel Brothers—Ari (the sexy brooding one, and the brains of the operation), Rahm (the cute, vocal one), and Zeke (the goofier-looking older one who you’d still totally be thrilled to settle for)—sending their throngs of young admirers into screaming fits and fainting spells. More »
5 Suggestions For Improving the Generally Hideous ‘Jonas Brothers Concert Movie’ Poster
6:00AM STV | The recently released poster for the Jonas Brothers’ upcoming concert movie — otherwise referred to as The Jonas Brothers Concert Movie — has been the subject of intense scrutiny and debate today around Defamer HQ. On one hand, its undercurrents of everything from purity-ringed privilege to downmarket Beatlemania convey just the kind of “phenomenon” vibe Disney intends. On the other, you’ve got three kids dressed like bums with expensive luggage crowding into a puddle-jumper. For now, anyway, critical mass wins out; here’s a case to be made for the latter. More »
Upon Reflection, Maybe Jordin Sparks Didn’t Mean to Call You All ‘Sluts’
4:50AM Defamer Hollywood | The VMAs tend to be known for their feuds, whether it’s Madonna vs. Courtney Love, Kid Rock vs. Tommy Lee, or Michael Jackson vs. his overwhelming fear of Lisa Marie Presley’s pursed lips. This year’s ceremony was no different, though the anger came from an unexpected source: American Idol winner Jordin Sparks, who overstepped a line while defending the Jonas Brothers’ purity, declaring, “It’s not bad to wear a promise ring, because not everybody — guy or girl — wants to be a slut.” This implication of an either/or sexual ultimatum prompted an outcry from the historically ribald music world, with elder stateswoman Courtney Love prescribing an unorthodox remedy of “pussy and some cock” and the Jonas Brothers themselves laying hands on salacious host Russell Brand to forgive him. Now, in an interview with EW, Sparks clarifies her controversial words: More »
And Lo, The Jonas Brothers Did Absolve Russell Brand Of His Sins
5:15AM Defamer Hollywood | Heading into Sunday night’s VMAs, one could never have predicted that the Jonas Brothers would end up central to the ceremony’s only real controversy; and yet, thanks to Russell Brand’s purity-tweaking jokes and Jordin Sparks’s impassioned tirade against sluts, there they found themselves. Would the squeaky-clean trio retaliate by wagging their ringed fingers in Brand’s face, or would they take Courtney Love’s colorful advice to sample “some pussy and some cock and shut the hell up”? According to the BBC, they chose a different route, claiming to be fans of Brand (thanks to his last Conan O’Brien appearance) and giving him some pointers on pleasing the fickle American audience:
Courtney Love Has the Last, Incoherent Word on the VMAs Purity Ring Controversy
8:35AM Defamer Hollywood | Though it’s been a long while since Courtney Love caused controversy at the VMAs, the singer wasn’t about to let last night’s purity ring flap pass by without giving that virginal young upstart Jordin Sparks the what-for. Yes, even though Love claims not to have watched last night’s ceremony (though she adores host Russell Brand), she took to her blog to denounce the latest crop of chaste young performers, giving them the sort of X-rated advice that would make a Jonas Brother blush (not that Miley, though — she’s heard it all). We’ve excerpted the best bits below, though we warn you that they’re hard to read — not because of their shock value, but because their author is the garrulous misspeller Courtney Love: More »
Miley’s Sweet 16: You (and 30,000 Gays) are Invited!
5:00AM STV | OMG! The birthday-celebrating opportunity of your tween’s lifetime is right around the corner at Disneyland, where plans for Miley Cyrus’s Sweet-16 bash on Oct. 5 are coming together with saucy, serendipitous panache. Never mind the $250 face value of the limited tickets going on sale Aug. 30 — the guest list validates a price even double that. Take, for starters, the Jonas Brothers and Miley’s other Disney cohorts, throw in a few volunteers handpicked from Youth Service America, and finish it off with a two-story birthday cake full of gays. Or at least a theme park full of them, according to The Advocate: More »
Wherein We Finally Attempt to Comprehend The Jonas Brothers
6:30AM STV | Look, we’re old. Not “old” old, but more like “the Olympics were so much better in Los Angeles” old. And definitely not “Beatlemania” old, but old enough to wonder if the Jonas Brothers phenomenon is anything like what we’ve heard about Beatlemania. We honestly don’t know — before today we’d never listened to a Jonas Brothers song, we’ve never seen them perform, we don’t even know which is which, only that the moppiest-headed one occasionally receives photos of Miley Cyrus eating her skivvies. More »
