the hobbit
Flotsam & Jetsam
10 Things From Comic-Con That You Need To Know About
6:00AM Brian Moylan | Why bother going to San Diego for Comic-Con when you can just sit in your living room and read all the good coverage of it! Now, when you talk to your nerdy sci-fi friends, you won’t look like an idiot. More »
Guillermo del Toro to Pump Out Stale Remakes For Universal Until 2017
8:05AM STV | Whatever your impressions of would-be bank robber and generally overrated fantasy maven Guillermo del Toro, his new long-term pact with Universal can’t be the kind of thing that rouses too much confidence in his growth and versatility — even among fans. After his five-year commitment to The Hobbit, the filmmaker will reportedly return back to his Hellboy backers for four films in as many years. And if/when we ever write our book on the End of Ideas epidemic sweeping Hollywood, his unique stretch from this year’s sequel Hellboy II to one of three remake possibilities in 2017 may be worth an entire chapter’s worth of consideration:
In a blog post last month, before The Hobbit …
8:45AM Defamer Hollywood | In a blog post last month, before The Hobbit officially landed a director, Lord of the Rings veteran Sir Ian McKellen was more certain he would reprise his role as Gandalf than he was of his former castmates’ sexualities. He was even surer in a recent interview with Empire magazine, in which the 68-year-old confirmed he was coming back for filmmaker Guillermo del Toro. “Yes, it’s true,” McKellen said. “I spoke to Guillermo in the very room that Peter Jackson offered me the part and he confirmed that I would be reprising the role. Obviously, it’s not a part that you turn down, I loved playing Gandalf.” And if McKellen’s happy, then we’re happy — especially when it means we don’t have to further wrack our tired, beaten brains conjuring a suitable replacement. Thank God for small favours. [Reuters] More »
If ‘The Hobbit’ Must Be Made, We’d Rather See One of These Directors at the Helm
2:15AM Defamer Hollywood | Our dissatisfaction at Friday’s news that Guillermo del Toro would inherit the Hobbit reins from Peter Jackson met with a mix of scorn and curiosity over the weekend. “Pony up an alternative, Cochise,” wrote a commenter. “Destroy those two GENIUSES and all we will be left with is Lucas and Spielberg. And that is not a world I wish to live in.” Us neither! That said, if the Laws of Hollywood Franchises dictate that this goddamned movie must exist, we can think of at least five talented directors off the tops of our heads whom we’d prefer over del Toro, Jackson or any of the other usual fanboy fantasy suspects. Tell us your own ideal hires after the jump.
‘Hobbit’ Director Debate Ignores Critical Fact that ‘Hobbit’ is Rubbish
9:50AM Defamer Hollywood | There’s been much to-do over the last day about Peter Jackson’s hiring of Guillermo del Toro to direct the two-part Lord of the Rings prequel The Hobbit. Among our favourite dissenting opinions belongs to Salon critic Andrew O’Hehir, who pulls out his Cannes ‘06 interview notebook to look up del Toro’s sentiment at the time: “I was never into heroic fantasy. At all. I don’t like little guys and dragons, hairy feet, hobbits — I’ve never been into that at all. I don’t like sword and sorcery, I hate all that stuff.” Our sister blog Gawker doesn’t like del Toro’s selection either, but we’re optimistic this is a perfect match for everyone because The Lord of the Rings, The Hobbit, J.R.R. Tolkien and Guillermo del Toro all fucking suck. Does it really matter which A-list fantasy/horror fanboy with $300 million of Warner Bros.’ money and Jackson’s imprimatur is going to spend four years jacking off behind a camera in New Zealand? It’s going to be unwatchable. Not only that, but didn’t Jackson make this movie three times already? Here’s our exclusive script excerpt: “EXT. FOREST — DAY. Bilbo Baggins furrows his brow. Visual effects and soundtrack happen. INT. CASTLE — NIGHT. Ian McKellen cameo. More effects. EXT. FOREST — DAY. The end.” It’s a hit! [Salon] More »Short Ends: Brad Pitt Getting Blown
10:40AM Mark Graham | By the WIND, people. Get your minds out of the gutter! Bonus besteverness? Directed by David Fincher. [Creativity Magazine] Nerds rejoice! Guillermo del Toro has finally signed on to direct the long gestating LOTR prequel, The Hobbit. He will be spending the next four years (!!!) in New Zealand alternately shooting the film and polishing Peter Jackson’s Oscars. [Variety] Speaking of hobbits, Elijah Wood’s latest movie includes his first on-screen sex scene. Disturbingly, the scene involves spaghetti. No word yet if spaghetti sauce is also involved, but if it were, we hope they used Trader Joe’s Organic Vodka Sauce. That’s our fave. [Thighs Wide Shut] And since we’ve clearly got sex on the brain, here’s video of a topless Mischa Barton straddling what looks to be the poor man’s James Van Der Beek. The footage comes from some movie that, thanks to the magic of The Internets, you never have to actually see! [Egotastic] And lastly, Amy’s Robot asks what could be the most important question of our times (or, at least, the last few hours): “Are you aware that Tina Fey’s husband looks like this?” Actually, we did not. [Amy's Robot via Fimoculous] More »
Ian McKellen Surfaces on Web with ‘Hobbit’ News and Not-Needed Castmate Sexuality Updates
2:00AM Defamer Hollywood | Even though the Warner Bros. ax has yet to fall around New Line headquarters and the Tolkien family still wants its cash for The Lord of the Rings saga, Sir Ian McKellen took to his blog (We know! We’re as stunned as you are) Wednesday to confirm he’s “keeping [his] diary open for 2009″ to reprise his role as Gandalf in The Hobbit. But that’s only the half of McKellen’s big gay update, which also includes hot nose-tweaking action and yawning confirmations of his LOTR co-stars’ heterosexuality: I did feel the need to tweak (New Line co-founder Michael Lynne’s) nose once, when he seemed to be trying to diddle the cast of LOTR out of their well-earned share of the profits. It was at a party in Berlin after the opening of The Return of the King. I said “That’s for all the trouble you’ve been causing!” I don’t know who was more surprised: Michael, that I had taken his nose in my finger and thumb and twisted it gently, or me for having dared do it! At least one of us enjoyed it. More »
5:15AM Mark | Everybody’s Suing Everybody Day continues! Accusing New Line of employing the kind of “Hollywood accounting” practices that could secret billions of dollars of Lord of the Rings revenues in suspicious budget lines like “Hair/Make-up Hobbitscaping Services,” “Elijah Wood Eye-Desparkling Effects,” and “Hide all profits here! Sssssh!,” representatives from J.R.R. Tolkein’s charitable trust and the author’s heirs have filed suit against the studio, looking to be paid their claimed $150 million share of the LOTR bounty: “I think that it’s going to be extremely interesting to see how New Line is going to explain to a jury that these films grossed $6 billion and yet by their calculations the creators’ heirs are not going to get even a single penny.” Given that New Line was rumored to have paid previous profit-seeker Peter Jackson a $40 million settlement to keep their two The Hobbit films on track, Tolkien’s heirs can probably convince the company to comb through their allegedly cooked books to shake loose eight-figures’ worth of make-nice money before things devolve into ugliness. [NY Times] More »
New Line, MGM Hope To Appease ‘Hobbit’ Fans By Throwing Big Bag Of Money At Guillermo Del Toro
8:46AM Mark | Having recently buried the $US40 million hatchet with Peter Jackson to bring to an end that ugly feud over Lord of the Rings profits, New Line (and partner MGM) can now turn its attention to the crucial matter of finding a suitable director (Jackson, as you surely remember, is executive producing) for its two planned Hobbit movies, knowing that making a hasty, ill-considered choice could, as THR notes, “put billions of dollars at stake…and could turn off an audience that encompasses millions of passionate readers, Tolkien fans and obsessive geeks.” More »
