the girls next door
Hef and the Body-Painted Twins Wish You a Very Perky, NSFW Christmas
8:38AM Kyle Buchanan | It looks like we’ll have to think of a new idea for the Defamer Christmas card, because Hugh Hefner and his 19-year-old twin concubines have gone and stolen ours. More »
Baby-Hungry Holly Madison Pained To Learn Hef’s Pond Was Dry
6:20AM Kyle Buchanan | Hugh Hefner is currently undergoing a transformation that bears all the signs of a late-life crisis; after all, he’s traded in his young, blond, nubile girlfriends for younger, blonder, face-kicking twins. Sadly, despite the fact that Hef’s new girlfriends are still teenaged, he’s still not much for children, and ex-Girl Next Door Holly Madison says that it was her fruitless attempts to bear Hef’s spawn that forced her to finally pack her frilly underthings and depart Holmby Hills: More »
Why Does Kendra From ‘Girls Next Door’ Have a Hate-On For Tom Brady?
9:55AM Kyle Buchanan | Though it’s been reported that Kendra Wilkinson is on her way out of Hugh Hefner’s harem, there’s one person that isn’t getting into the Playboy Mansion under her watch, and that’s footballer Tom Brady. On last night’s episode of The Girls Next Door, Wilkinson was told that she’d have to wear the New England Patriot’s jersey for a special charity flag football game, and the look of utter revulsion that passed across her face was impressive for a woman regularly tasked with resuscitating the 82-year-old Hefner’s nether regions. More »
Hef’s 19-Year-Old Twins Also Enjoy Kicking Each Other In the Face
7:30AM Kyle Buchanan | Almost overnight, the new season of The Girls Next Door has turned into a must-watch; first, we learned that Hugh Hefner had replaced his three bunnies with 19-year old twins Karissa and Kristina Shannon, then it was revealed that both girls had a criminal record stemming from a beer bottle attack on their Wing House coworker. However, even more twin malfeasance has now been revealed by TMZ: when not engaging in psuedo-incestuous relationships with each other, Karissa likes to kick Kristina in the face! Priceless details from the arrest report (filed Nov. 5 of last year), after the jump: More »
Hef’s New Twins Do Everything Together — Even Getting Arrested
3:28AM Kyle Buchanan | After an existential crisis that left him splayed on his four-poster bed, deserted but for his Viagra and ennui, Hugh Hefner is finally bouncing back with the help of nubile, 19-year-old twins Kristina and Karissa Shannon. The duo’s semi-incestuous sister act should help Hef fill the hole left by the wayward Girls Next Door who have abandoned him, but should he still hold a grudge against Holly, Kendra, and Bridget, he’s in luck: the twins aren’t afraid to beat a bitch down, and they have the record to prove it!
Hugh Hefner’s Break-Up Meltdown: What E! Didn’t Show Us
7:00AM STV | While the Playboy Mansion has been emptying out for what feels like weeks, Hugh Hefner is only now getting around to acknowledging the recent bust-up with his beloved Holly Madison. And even considering the lithe 19-year-old twins he found to replace her, an interview yesterday reveals a guy whose “down in the dumps” demeanour reflects the corrosive, pyjama-clad equivalent of an Ingmar Bergman drama. More »
Hef’s New Twins’s Turn-Ons Include Appearing on ‘The Girls Next Door’
7:20AM Kyle Buchanan | Yesterday, Hugh Hefner’s main bunny Holly Madison confirmed reports that she had escaped the Viagra-fuelled fantasia that is the Playboy Mansion, and today brings the strongest rumours yet that Hef has chosen to replace Madison with a set of 19-year-old twins. According to Buzznet, their names are Kristina and Karissa Shannon, and a simple Google search turns up a modelling profile for the duo where they tease (in a grammatically suspect treatise to beat the band) that they will, indeed, be appearing on the next season of The Girls Next Door. The announcement in their own misspelled words (plus two more pictures that are a strand of black dental floss away from being totally NSFW), after the jump: More »
Which Actress Is Going to Pay Someone to Be Her Lesbian Lover?
8:45AM Defamer Hollywood | After making an unsettling detour to Closeted-Heartthrob Rapesville, the Blind Item Express is once more on the move, this time heading for sunnier, more sapphic waters. How else to explain this provocative post from Crazy Days and Nights: More »
‘Girls Next Door’ Express Their Displeasure At Being Typecast In ‘House Bunny’
6:25AM Mark Graham | While there is very little dignity in being one of three girls repeatedly porked by a doddering 82 year old, The Girls Next Door have managed to do quite well for themselves. Not only do they have a certified hit television show on their hands (Season Five on its way!), but Holly, Kendra and Bridget have also made appearances on Entourage, Curb Your Enthusiasm and Scary Movie 4 (not to mention Kendra’s recent appearance on the front page of the Wall Street Journal). Despite all of their career successes, it seems that the girls are chomping at the bit for a chance to stretch their acting muscles more than most of their extended cameos call for. More »
