the chosen two
‘People’ Finds Sales of ‘Chosen Blobs’ Cover to Be Less Than Heavenly
5:50AM Defamer Hollywood | Until this week, it was taken as gospel that everything touched by peripatetic partners Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt would turn to gold; in fact, newsstand operators were ordered to wear sunglasses when the two released pictures of their Chosen Twins to People, so bright was the babies’ gilded glow. Sadly, it looks like the exclusive that People paid so heavily for has resulted in a newsstand baby bump that was significantly less than they’d projected. Says Cover Awards: More »
Just Rolling Out The Chosen Two’s Rouge Carpet Will Cost Brangelina $20 Million Dollars
6:00AM Molly Friedman | In case you hadn’t heard, Europe is expensive. Coffee costs five bucks, the dollar is like a penny, and it takes a lot of money to look as cheap as Victoria Beckham. And apparently, having a kid over there will set you back about $10 million. That is, if you’re Angelina Jolie and you’re giving birth to the world’s most important children, The Chosen Two. According to Life & Style, Brad and Angie are set to push out their newest soccer team members in France, where they’ll spend up to $20 million dollars on “birthing costs,” including every new mom’s standard requirements like helicopters, villas on the Riviera, and a fleet of nine cars. The full breakdown on just how expensive it is to have a kid when you’re Brangelina, after the jump. More »
Angelina Jolie ‘Drug Tape’ Revelations: ‘S&M Is From The Heart And Soul’
2:30AM Molly Friedman | It may not contain that promised footage of Angelina Jolie smoking heroin, but the rumoured “drug tape” featuring the future mother-of-six has been released by a British tabloid. And while Jolie herself isn’t filmed doing any drugs, she doesn’t appear to need any, as she spends a good two minutes babbling about how S&M has spiritually changed her life. As her anonymous junkie friend casually smokes heroin next to her, Angelina talks nonstop as though the shady characters huddled nearby are licensed therapists. How seeing her baby lizard left in the sun changed her life, and why she is just so tired of explaining to people that sadomasochism is not just about accessories but about healing, after the jump.
The Chosen Two’s Due Date Outed By Dustin Hoffman, Expected Nationality Outed By Angelina Herself
4:40AM Molly Friedman | As we noted yesterday, Jack Black took the liberty of announcing that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are expecting twins during a pre-taped interview on The Today Show, which we all got to see for ourselves this morning. One would think Black’s blooper would ruffle Jolie’s feathers, but as this clip shows, Jolie handled the situation with breezy laughter and an amicable Oh Well! shrug. And as it turns out, Black wasn’t the only Kung Fu Panda co-star to fill everyone in on The Chosen Two’s glorious impending arrival. Once again for no apparent reason, fading funny man Dustin Hoffman decided to reveal the twins’ due date during the same segment. When Brangelina is expecting and which nationality Jolie has selected for her next soccer team members, after the jump.
