the celebrity perfumery
Your Guide To Smelling Like Jillian Michaels
2:54PM Jess McGuire | Our obsession with Jillian continues…
The brilliant Elspeth from The Celebrity Perfumery totally obeyed our demands after we raved about her Kate Moss effort and knocked up a drawing of Jillian, along with a recipe for The Biggest Loser’s personal scent. Check it, yo.
Jillian Michaels, aka the black widow of excercise, emmits a powerful punch to the nose.
One whiff of her sweat towel and you’ll either faint or corrode into a pile of dust!
- Cranberry juice
- Antibacterial soap
- Brazil nuts
- Tempeh
- Hemorrhoid cream
- Facial hair bleach
- Papaya
- Stale discharge
- Kiwi fruit shampoo
- Pepper spray
- Spearmint gum
Smack your cheeks with the concoction, as if it were cologne. You may sprout the odd chin whisker, that’s a sign that your hormone levels are adjusting to accommodate the hostile brew.
Very good. Elspeth was also kind enough to draw an image of Defamer Australia’s Editor post-hair shaving (YOU CAN STILL SPONSOR US IF YOU LIKE). If we put them side by side, it’s almost as though we’re hanging out with our idol!
Sigh. Jillian, we will hunt you down and make you train us if it’s the last thing we do.
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Eau de Kate Moss (And Other Fragrant Delights)
2:50PM Jess McGuire | This is probably the most interesting concept for a website we’ve come across in a while – caricatures of celebrities alongside a list of ingredients which would theoretically make you smell like the star in question!
Take Kate Moss for example...
Like the gentle waft of burnt matchsticks in a public lavatory, Kate Moss exudes a subtle, yet poignant stench. High pitch floral notes are all but lost on this denim vixen!
- Damp ashtray
- Grilled asparagus
- Lemon Verbena
- Juniper berries
- Mascara crusts
- Fresh linens
- Chanel No. 241
- Interior old leather pumps.
Roll into little balls of clay and drop them in your purse. These bad boys are more powerful than mothballs!
We love it! Bravo, Elspeth Tremblay. We hope to manipulate you into performing works of artistic mischief for Defamer Australia before the month is out… which means we have until this evening, we suppose. More » 