the apprentice
In a Very Special Boardroom, Joe Francis Tells Trump, ‘Show Me Your Tits’
6:40AM Defamer Hollywood | Currently enmeshed in a terrible global conspiracy involving 17-year-old girls, U.S. District Judges, a shadowy cabal of vampires (and most likely the Stonemasons), Girls Gone Wild proprietor Joe Francis is on the hunt for a way to restore his good name — and there’s no one more willing to help than Donald Trump. Already the crown prince of magnanimity thanks to his selfless (some might say tear-inducing) bail-out of the beleaguered Ed McMahon, Hollyscoop says that the billionaire and the porn purveyor are set to team up: More »
Donald Trump Informercial Hostess Sheds Tears Of Trump-Loving Joy
4:50AM Seth | Yes, you read that headline correctly, and now you can experience the magic for yourselves. This comes to us via Videogum, and it appears (sniff) to be some sort of portal into (whimper, voice crack) Trump’s brilliant, wealth-accumulating mind via your TV at 4 a.m. (sooooobbbbb). After the jump, an equally insane clip about Trump’s love of red meat—a point he’s driven home before on The Apprentice, if we’re not mistaken, in a lyrical metaphor for sexual preference that compared enjoying gay sex to eating spaghetti. More »
Hollywood Feudwatch
6:40AM Defamer Hollywood | Is the entertaining feud between delightfully unedited NBC perfect storm Ben Silverman and ABC’s Steve McPherson spilling over into their networks’ primetime schedules? ABC just moved the last new episode of Nielsen juggernaut Grey’s Anatomy to January 10th, forcing NBC to shift the premiere of Celebrity Apprentice for the second time this week in apparent attempts to get the vulnerable show out of Grey’s destructive path. There is no truth to the rumour that McPherson’s scheduling move was announced to Silverman via the delivery of a muffin basket accompanied by a note reading, “Who’s the little D-girl now, Big Ben?” [THR] More »
Trade Roundup: Angelina Jolie To Sex Up Boring Old Spy Story About Gun-Running And Terrorists
6:45AM Defamer Hollywood | · Paramount acquires the rights to the life of spy Kathi Lynn Austin, whose arms-trafficking and terrorism-related adventures could become “an action vehicle” for Angelina Jolie that will ultimately bear little to no resemblance to the intelligence operative’s real life. [Variety] · Publicists love Judd Apatow! He’ll be named 2007’s “outstanding film showman” at the 45th annual Flackies. [Variety] · Edward Norton will play identical twins (”one an Ivy League classics professo rand the other a hedonistic pot-smoking career criminal,” naturally) in Tim Blake Nelson’s comedy thriller Leaves of Grass. [Variety] More »
Curtis Stone Fires Donald Trump Before He Gets The Chance To Fire Him (i.e Curtis… Oh, Never Mind)
2:00PM Clem Bastow | Local chef and TV whiz Curtis Stone has been faring well since he left our shores for the USA, so well, in fact, that all manner of opportunities have come knocking – including one from The Donald himself.
Trump thought Stone – who hosts Take Home Chef in the States – would be a good The Apprentice contestant – it’s just that Curtis didn’t share his enthusiasm.
“I’m pretty busy and had a couple of concerns. I didn’t want to get fired. I’ve never been fired yet and I don’t want to get fired now.”
It may sound like the TV chef is looking a gift horse in the mouth and then sending it to the glue factory, but we’re inclined to agree with Curtis: getting fired on The Apprentice is tantamount to being fired from life.
Just ask Omarosa Manigault-Stallworth. More » 
Donald Trump Can’t Stop Talking About How Badly He Doesn’t Want Rosie O’Donnell On ‘The Apprentice’
8:15AM Defamer Hollywood | Never one to squander an opportunity to jab his firing-pinky into longtime nemesis Rosie O’Donnell’s neck wattle while evaluating her physical appearance, musing about a punitive sexual conquest of her life-partner, or delivering a stream of inventive, pig-related quips, Donald Trump delivered the insult value-add we’ve come expect from the savvy businessman in denying that he’d ever invited her on the upcoming celebrity edition of The Apprentice. He did, however, allow that firing her would be fun: “No, I never offered Rosie a chance to be on ‘Celebrity Apprentice, ‘” Trump told Access Hollywood in an exclusive interview. “It’s a good idea,” he continued, “because I would fire her fat a**. She would definitely not last more than one show . . . I would love to fire Rose, but I don’t want her on the show.” Mulling the idea over for a moment, the redness in Trump’s flushed face began to fade, and he absently twirled a lock of his magnificent head of hair as he continued, “You know what, though? Firing her…mmm…that could work. Like, really work. It’s crazy to say it, right? But, but…I could bend her over the boardroom’s table, grab the new dismissal paddle we’ll be using this season, and really go to Trumptown on that ample bottom of hers. Ammm-ple. Just lingers on the tongue, ample. Weird. You think she’d like that? She probably would. She’s sick. A sick little piggy. And then right when she thinks I’m going to fire her, you know what? I stop! I bring her back for another show. Take that, Rosie. Fatfatfat. The paddling won’t be so fun the second time, I promise you that. Or the third.” Donald Trump On Rosie: ‘I Would Fire Her Fat A**’ [AH]M Previously: Basking In Feud Afterglow, Trump Tries To Leave $2 Mil On Rosie’s Dresser [Defamer] More »
Basking In Feud Afterglow, Trump Tries To Leave $2 Mil On Rosie’s Dresser
7:10AM Defamer Hollywood | Perhaps seeking a little insurance in case NBC gets cold feet about renewing its vows with The Apprentice, Donald Trump tried to snuggle up to arch-enemy Rosie O’Donnell’s ratings-saving bosom. FOXNews.com reports that, as part of a “celeb-driven season,” The Donald offered the pigfaced mess a cool $US2 million to work for 12 days on the struggling reality show about boardrooms, professional finger-pointing, and unnatural follicular biology: The offer, I’m told, came through producer Mark Burnett’s office. Needless to say, O’Donnell turned Trump down flat. “I wouldn’t do it for $200 million,” Rosie was said to have responded. More »Resuscitations
8:00AM Defamer Hollywood | The Apprentice, the ratings-challenged crown jewel of aerodynamically coiffed real estate baron Donald Trump’s reality TV empire, is rumoured to have been renewed by NBC for another season. [Reuters] More »
Trade Roundup: New NBC Guy Keeping His Trump Options Open
6:28AM Defamer Hollywood | · New NBC golden boy Ben Silverman is already hard at work, talking disgruntled Donald Trump down from a Trump Tower ledge by reopening talks about possibly bringing back The Apprentice. “I can see this guy is gonna be a star,” says Trump, appreciating the business savvy of a player who might not be afraid to throw away untold millions to return his low-rated show to primetime. [Variety] · Dania “The One Who Drove AJ Soprano To Suicide” Ramirez will join Heroes as a series regular. (Hey, she’s got mutant experience from X-Men 3.) While her “powers are being kept under wraps,” producers are rumoured to still be deciding between superhuman Rollerblading skills and the ability to make the world’s most delicious sandwiches. [THR] · The Canadian government quickly surrenders to visiting California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, helpless against his onslaught of tired movie catchphrases meant to communicate the importance of introducing tougher anti-piracy legislation. [Variety] · Not that you might possibly care, but USA won the cable rights to Pirates 3, completing its acquisition of all three installments of the franchise. [THR] · Pirate Master (which we actually watched, God help us, confirming our suspicion that it’s nothing more than Survivor with an eyepatch and a big boat) is off to a weak start for CBS. None of us are going to make it through the summer TV season alive, we can feel it already. [Variety] More »
