You'll recall that a month or so ago it was revealed that Biggest Loser host Ajay Rochester was headed to court to face 23 charges of fraud (yes, 23).

Well, she had her day in court yesterday, and it was good to see the Daily Telegraph bringing out the sizeist adjectives once more to describe "the larger-than-life personality" of Rochester:

She is accused of receiving single parent payments for four years when she knew she was not eligible, Kim Arlington reports.

Rochester was a no-show - believed to have been in Fiji - when her case first came before the court last month.

But the larger-than-life personality appeared in person yesterday, with her lawyers telling the court she was formally pleading not guilty to the charges.

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No doubt Channel Ten would've preferred this particular story to stay quiet: Biggest Loser host Ajay Rochester (who is still contracted to the network) is headed to court next week to face 23 charges of fraud.

Yes, 23! Well done, Ajay, nice work for the blue team there.

Rochester, 39, is facing nine charges of receiving a financial advantage from a Commonwealth entity and 14 of dishonestly obtaining a financial advantage.

The TV personality, who has cultivated her celebrity status through penning several weight-loss books and fronting reality show The Biggest Loser, will begin the challenge of overcoming the next super-sized hurdle in her life on Tuesday.

While official documentation on the 23 charges is limited at this stage, Confidential understands they pertain to a period in Rochester's life which pre-dates her employment with Channel 10.

Surprising that they didn't also find a way to fit in a few zingers like "Ajay is in big trouble" and "large amounts of legal issues"; really, why stop at one pointless dig at a famous woman's size, guys? Keep it coming!

Since there's nothing Your Editor likes better than seeing fatties lacking in self-confidence locating their inner spunk over a ravenous three month period, you can understand why we chose to shun all the hip parties in town last night and instead stay home to watch the mother of all weigh ins, The Biggest Loser finale.

Even though last night featured a disappointing lack of Jillian genius (the few minutes of footage we saw from the Black team's time in LA really hammered home how "strong and constant", hymn style, our love for the mad bitch is...), we nevertheless delighted in seeing the weight loss of all the contestants we've known and loved - except JJ, who appears to have actually kept running ever since he escaped the white house, which at the very least should be keeping him trim - and even the contestants we didn't actually know and love (helloooooooo, dude who won $10,000 losing a billion kilos at home! You fox!)

Well done to Sam for winning, etc etc etc etc.

SO ANYWAY.

Here's the only thing we really wanted to say.

Condo's favourite whore-dabbling rocker son Shannon 'Nollsy' Noll has offered an apology to punters who suffered through his "emotional and exhausted" (that's the official term for celebrity off-chops behaviour, right?) appearance on stage during the CMC Rocks The Snowys concert Saturday night. After Confidential were informed by a displeased gig attendee that Shannon's time in front of the microphone was "so appallingly bad it wasn't funny", Shannon Noll has admitted his mistake and begged for forgiveness, pledging to seek help for shit showmanship.

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For the last couple of years, we've been fairly confident that we are the most devoted of Jillian Michaels fans out there. We blog about her more than we possibly should, considering she's only really been on Australian television screens this year for a depressing three minutes at best. We started that Facebook group. We imitate her making Shane cry with disturbing regularity on radio. Once we discovered the other day that she is, as we speak, on Australian soil, we actually contemplated contacting our bosses and asking them to cough up the cash for a stalky trip up north to track her down and convince her to make us do push ups and bawl our eyes out, thus making us happier than we could ever fathom being.

But Mallory, a recent commenter on Defamer Australia, has quite possibly outdone us. She puts forward a compelling argument as to why she is the number one Jillian Michaels fan on the planet, if not the universe.

Jillian is the most amazing, inspirational person that was ever created. Being the fitness guru that i am it's astonishingly phenominal(yea big words!)to watch jillian do what she does, i look up to her as if she's God (personally i think she's better)anyway, everytime i see her i get this feeling in my stomach that i really can't explain but its the best feeling in the world, it's almost as if i melt. i can GARUNTEE on my life and my family's life that i am 100% jillian's biggest most appreciative fan. I LOVE HER MORE THEN SOME OF MY FAMILY MEMBERS.

We believe we may, as the kids like to say, have been "served".

If we find out Mallory is a B.D Wong obsessive, we might as well give up this thing called Idiotic Fandom altogether.

After yesterday's Mark Ronson sad-a-thon, we've now decided to throw a pity party for winner of The Biggest Loser's first series Adro Sarnelli. Why? Because trainer Bob Harper ain't returning his calls.

He had such a major impact on his life he named one of his children after him, but if Adro Sarnelli was expecting Biggest Loser trainer Bob Harper to return the affection, he had another thing coming.

Two years after the first series went to air, former fat-busters feel they have been snubbed by the American fitness guru.

Series 1 winner Sarnelli called his 14-month-old son Eden Harper after the man who changed his life, but is disappointed Harper still has not met the child.

"I would love it if there was a little bit more interaction," Sarnelli said.

"You have to be a bit realistic and sensible about it . . . so far there are 95 Biggest Loser contestants across the world. There's part of me that wishes he replied to my emails as soon as I sent them, but I totally understand."

It sounds to us like you understand in a crying-yourself-to-sleep kinda way, our Subway scoffing friend.

Nevertheless, Adro is adamant there's still some love there.

He denied rumours that the pair had a falling out when Harper was too busy to catch up in Los Angeles last year, saying he was too jetlagged to see him the day he arrived and the following day Harper had to go to New York. "He didn't dog me," he said.

So they really are friends, and it's just circumstances keeping them apart, and Bob counts Adro as a bestie? Right?

While Harper was unavailable for comment yesterday, a Channel 10 spokesman told Confidential that he had filmed eight series of the show in the US.

"It's one of those relationships which kind of blur the boundaries between professional and personal," the spokesman said.

Poor Adro.

PS: We also note the line in the article saying "Harper, who is now in Sydney shooting the American version of Loser..."

IS JILLIAN ON AUSTRALIAN SOIL TOO? DO WE NEED TO BOOK A TICKET TO SYDNEY? WE WANT HER TO MAKE US CRY AND GET US FIT (SIMULTANEOUSLY).

We have, like many other Australians, been watching the current series of The Biggest Loser. While we are always partial to seeing people with body issues and low self-esteem become totally buffed, the real reason behind our obsessive viewing of the program has more to do with our intense love of Jillian Michaels.

We even started the Facebook group "I would be a better person if Jillian from The Biggest Loser was my friend" which you should feel free to join. Here's the description, which should help explain our need to worship her.

Jillian Michaels from The Biggest Loser is a fucking genius. Everything she touches turns to televisual gold. She takes giant unhappy people and turns them into slim, somewhat less unhappy people.

Remember when Shane from The Biggest Loser was all sad and shit and unable to do his push ups, and she was right in his face going "Why do you hate yourself soooooo much? You just think you're fat and useless, don't you? DON'T YOU? You don't feel like you DESERVE to be loved because you're too FAT" until he cried like a baby AND THEN GOT REALLY BUFF AND HAPPY AND FELL IN LOVE WITH HER?!

If she was in my life, she would totally sort my shit out. Sure, I might weep a lot at first. Maybe the constant jogging and calorie counting would get on my nerves. Maybe I would have a couple of nightmares where her steely eyes burn into my skin as she spots me hacking away at a tub of Homer Hudson icecream with a tablespoon in the middle of the night. Whatever.

Jillian would make me bawl my eyes out, and then look totally hot. That's all I want from a friend, really.

OTHER PEOPLE FROM TELLY WHO WOULD BE GOOD ADDITIONS TO MY LIFE: Jo Frost aka Supernanny (I could do with being put in the naughty corner from time to time), the whip crackin' Victoria Stilwell from It's Me Or The Dog (her stern take-no-prisoners approach to dog parenthood would be beneficial to both me and my pup. Also, I find it mildly amusing that Victoria doesn't actually OWN a dog, according to her Wikipedia page)

We love collecting brilliant Jillian quotes (from Sunday's episode, hollered at a contestant who was struggling with weights - "I didn't fly you all the way over here to have you bitch about your arms so GOOOOOOOOOO!") but unfortunately we sporadically have a life and cannot watch every episode. If you hear Jillian say something astounding and inspirational and terrifyingly aggressive to a contestant, please email us and let us know so we can use it for Jillian Michaels' Inspirational And Somewhat Frightening Quote Of The Week.

· No, it's not Martha Stewart sharing the story of a friend who went "into the wild" and never returned. Nor is it Joey Pants discussing suicide and clinical depression. But the above clip of The View co-host Sherri Shepherd (who, we're discovering, may have something of an anal/genital fixation) and Martha snip-snipping away at parallel Halloween costume while saying the word "crotch" with alarming frequency makes us uncomfortable in a new and exciting way. Are we getting a little weirdly obsessed with this show and Stewart's uncanny recent ability to produce moments that give us the willies? Maybe so. But? Crotch. Crotchcrotchcrotch.
· Good news: Jon Stewart's signed on for another two more years of Daily Show duty.
· For those who feel the Teri Hatcher mask might be too creative a Halloween choice, here are some safer, less imaginative costume alternatives.
· Now Ashton Kutcher knows why he's had unexpected sexual feelings while watching The Osbournes.
· Someone should probably tell the people trying to drop pounds as quickly as The Biggest Loser contestants that all the weight loss on the show is done with CGI and creative editing.

A sad tale in the Herald Sun over the weekend about a couple prevented from adopting a child together due to the wannabe mother being considered "too fat" to receive a child.

From the article -

Mrs Lannigan, 29, and husband, Dave, 37, are devastated after complying with three years of bureaucracy to become eligible. Mrs Lannigan, who is 170cm tall and weighs 126kg, lost 12kg in recent weeks. She was told to lose another 40kg.

"They (two Department of Human Services adoption counsellors) came to see us for a second visit," Mrs Lannigan said. "And one of the women said everything was looking good and we would be wonderful parents, but that my weight was holding me back from adopting.

"They gave me a BMI (body mass index) chart. They said, 'You are here' and drew a dot on the chart and then said, 'When you get to here (85kg) give us a ring' and they would come and start the assessment again.

"By the time I get down to that weight I will be too old - they're asking me to lose more than 50kg."

We are thoroughly supportive of the couple but feel the need to point out that her argument - she will be "too old" by the time she loses forty kilograms - is patently untrue. If we have learned anything from quality programming like The Biggest Loser, it is that one can lose more than half their bodyweight in a matter of weeks, as long as they have a feisty American personal trainer like Jillian barking things like "Why do you hate yourself so much?" and "Don't you dare cry, don't you DARE cry - unless you're crying tears of JOY because you're gonna lose SO MUCH WEIGHT!" at them on a daily basis as they wile away their days in a McMansion whilst fighting with other obese Australians.

If a network television executive read this story and didn't think "Another opportunity to film a Biggest Loser special!" then they are idiots, and Defamer Australia should be running the country their station.

Hearty congratulations to Chris Garling who last night managed to win The Biggest Loser after shedding the equivalent of three Nicole Ritchies on the hit television show. He worked his way down from a positively Kirstie Alley-esque 149.5 kilos to an impressive and jawline conducive 79.4 kilos.

We're a bit concerned about this bit of the article though.

"I don't want to stay where I am,'' he told TV writer Stephen Downie. "I'm looking pretty lanky. I've got the guns of a six-year-old girl at the moment.''

Lanky isn't so bad, Chris. There's no need to snap and start stealing firearms from young children.

Boom ti-

No, you're right. That doesn't even deserve a 'tish'. We're going to find ourselves another coffee.