"You're a Bush! Act like one!" So begins the heartwarming teaser for W., Oliver Stone's lighting-round satire of George W. Bush's trajectory from hard-partying Texas schlub to dynastic political ringleader. And if we ever doubted the likelihood this would be a satire, one run through the casting roll call — a montage of furrowed brows and hammy smiles clearly drawing from the influential opening credits of Benson — all but confirms the variety-show flavor of the administration's antics. From Truman Capote as Karl Rove to Thandie Newton making her best law-circumventing face as Condoleezza Rice, this is shaping up to as the shrewdest political comedy of the season. NB: If our make-up looked as half-assed as Jeffrey Wright's does here as Colin Powell, we probably would have overturned the wrap party, too. Go easy on him, Shreveport. [via First Showing]

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We've already heard enough stars insisting that those sex scenes we find either major turn-ons (Mickey Rourke force-feeding Kim Basinger strawberries on the kitchen floor in 9 1/2 Weeks) or majorly eye-scarring (Heather Graham faking her way through grainy limo thrusts in Boogie Nights) are totally perfunctory while filming. With the massive crew surrounding them, the sudden lighting checks, and simple fact that they've gotta feign spontaneous heat take after take, we've leaned towards taking their word for it. And as it turns out, no matter how big the star or legendary their prowess in the bedroom, even simple kissing scenes with the most gorgeous A-listers around range from "awkward and sweaty" to "slightly icky and sort of wet." Where Tom Cruise, Angelina Jolie, Harrison Ford, Leonardo DiCaprio and more rank on the list of Worst On-Screen Kissers after the jump.

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Though the Metropolitan Museum's annual Costume Gala is considered by most to be the Oscars of the fashion world, the truth of the matter is that no one really focuses on the clothes. What really matters is which celebrities show up to WEAR the clothes and, of course, whether or not they're lookin' good. That said, all eyes were entirely focused on the recently friction-laden, reportedly squabbling super-duo of Team Cruise and Team Beckham, who reunited once again for the cameras. And despite the gushing show of admiration and respect that the Beckhams demonstrated for the the Hubbard-lovers on yesterday's Oprah, both Holmes and Beckham were allegedly competing for the spotlight last night. And in the end? The girl with the higher-slit dress tends to win every time. More photos from the event, including our picks for the best and most horrific looks of the night, after the jump.

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· Thandie Newton's knuckles: bulimia's hidden victims.
· An unspecified illness causes Sydney Pollack to pull out of Recount. His replacement: Jay Roach, who promises to bring some Austin Powers-style, genitalia-obscuring levity to HBO's movie about the 2000 elections.
· Clearly, Paul Allen was more pissed about turning Bumblebee from a VW Bug to a Camaro than he initially let on.
· The dog-mauling victim at Ving Rhames's house has now been identified, and this story gets officially reclassified from Mysterious/Deeply Disturbing to Slightly Less Mysterious/No Less Disturbing.
· And finally, we not-so-proudly (NSFW!) present Kurt Russell's (seriously...NSFW!) wang.