With Papalpaloooza rolling on, there's never been a better time to revel in all things Vatican! I have managed to fly into Sydney just in time for the official kick off of World Youth Day(s!) and boy, this town just feels electric right now, you know? The kids are young, wholesome fun, and full of Christ... and occasionally quite spunky (water, water everywhere but not a drop to "tap").

I must say though, all the middle aged pilgrim dudes are kind of freaky looking, strolling the streets of the city with a weird glint in their eyes. They resemble the sort of folk who should be getting grilled by Benson and Stabler on Law & Order: SVU rather than responsible adults in charge of escorting impressionable youths around a strange town. Whatever. Why are there so many grown up pilgrims anyway? Pope groupies? It's World Youth Day, dudes. As an associate quipped this morning, "They're like Toolies!"

Moving on to other World Youth Day-related matters... I received a rather delightful email from reader Shane today, and felt I had to share it with you all.

Dear Defamer,

In between trying to choose which menu item I should go to choose a new ring tone, would it be 'Burps, Farts or Orgasms' or 'Rad Animal Sound FX' I noticed that Vodafone had given me a third choice, World Youth Day Songs!

Here's what I can choose from, unfortunately there's no 'Hole In The Sky' by Black Sabbath.

Mother Mary - Foxboro Hottubs.
Jesus Christ (chorus) - Brand New
Jesus of Suburbia - Green Day.
We Believe - Good Charlotte.
I Believe - Paulini.
You Raise Me Up - Josh Groban.
Oh God - Jamie Cullum.
Celebration - Kylie Minogue.
Get The Party Started - Pink.
You're The Voice - John Farnham.
Youth of the Nation - P.O.D
Get Together - Madonna
Chocolate Pope - Electric Six.
Are You With Me - The Potbellez.

I think they may have the right idea with a few of those artists, but they've chosen the wrong song from the back catalogue. I would have gone with:

Pink - U + UR Hand
Madonna - Like A Prayer
Electric Six - Gay Bar
Kylie Minogue - Better The Devil You Know

But that's just me. And I am an idiot.

Also - am I the only one surprised that Pope Benedict XVI didn't make amazing use of the acronym OMG in his very hip text message to Catholics?

Stay Holy, and remember - don't be a hater. This is a MAGICAL WONDERFUL EVENT FOR THE ENTIRE WORLD and anyone who disagrees should just stop dwelling crankily on sad things.

You know, on the topic of humanity's slow and steady downfall, most people would point to things like overpopulation, recession, rising rates of arcane sexually-transmitted diseases, the brain drain, or maybe the fact that the Third World is still hungry and sick with illnesses that should've been magicked away years ago.

We here at Defamer Australia, however, believe the evidence will be found here:

Given the unstoppable rise of text language, it was only a matter of time before children's names went the way of traditional English.

Sure enough, text-style versions have begun to appear on birth certificates. Anne has been changed to An, Connor to Conna and Laura to Lora. Six boys were named Cam'ron instead of Cameron. According to the online parenting club Bounty, one girl born last month was named Flicity. And there are numerous young chaps named Samiul.

Last year, a couple were told they would not be allowed to register their son's name as 4Real.

Officials in New Zealand ruled that the use of a number made it inappropriate, so Pat and Sheena Wheaton had to opt for their second choice - Superman.

Please, if there is a God, could s/he start instigating some sort of anti-dickhead gene, so that as soon as a human being thinks, "You know what? These yellow sunglasses are the bomb shit, let's have a party!" or "Hey, girlfriend, could you have a close look at this broken wine glass for me?", they explode into a fine, bloody mist.

If not god, then Michael Bay. Which is near enough.