strippers

‘No Nikita’: Megan Fox’s Crush Missing From Body Shop’s Stripper Database

7:25AM STV | Megan Fox’s bracing candor in the new issue of GQ continued to captivate readers today, with her stripper-wooing antics and confession that “Olivia Wilde is so sexy she makes me want to strangle a mountain ox with my bare hands” stirring both deep resentments and arousal among animal-loving lesbian fetishists around the world. The sexless Defamer investigative crew, meanwhile, had more specific interests in mind: Olivia Wilde is lovely enough, but who exactly is “Nikita,” the Body Shop stripper Fox claimed to have had a brief, intense fling after relocating to LA a few years ago at age 18? It’s funny — when we called The Body Shop this afternoon, a veteran employee there wondered the same thing! More »

Jazz Randyboy, You Have Started A Stripping Epidemic!

2:59PM Jess McGuire | Melbourne residents, only just recovering from the mass taxi driver stripathon late last month which led to the city’s cabbies having their list of demands approved by the State Government, have again had to endure an eyeful of flesh, with another bunch of protesters who figure a shirts off approach to demonstrating is the best way to get their point across. Hands up those of you who have been secretly longing for Family First spunk Stephen Fielding to get his gear off? It’s your lucky day! Photo: Angela Wylie Angry pensioners and a Family First senator have stripped off and stopped traffic on one of Melbourne’s busiest intersections in a protest against a lack of support for seniors in this week’s Federal Budget. Up to 200 elderly people stood at the corner of Swanston and Flinders Streets this morning. It was inspired by topless taxi drivers who won safety concessions after a city centre protest rally two weeks ago, was organised with the backing of Family First senator Stephen Fielding. Mr Fielding stripped off his shirt in support of the protest, while two elderly women wore only their bras. Highlights of the sexy but serious protest include - - ‘John’, 69, who ran off into the intersection and stripped off to his underpants, said the budget was a “slap in the face” for pensioners. - Another woman stripped down to her bra and longjohns during the protest. According to the article, “traffic returned to normal after about 15 minutes” – but the visual picture will no doubt stay with witnesses for the rest of their lives. More »

Who Knew Melbourne’s Taxi Drivers Were Such A Sexy Bunch?

9:13AM Clem Bastow | We should preface this piece by making it clear we support the Melbourne cabbies’ protest and think that taxi drivers really get a bum deal these days (excluding the ones who actually don’t know where anything is/have the heater on 43 degrees and windows up/smell like Don Skinless Franks). However, we couldn’t help but laugh in a somewhat bemused fashion at the following highlights from this morning’s reportage of the cabbie strike in Melbourne’s CBD. We’ve underlined the best bits, just in case you miss them in your first scan: Taxi drivers blockading a major intersection in Melbourne’s CBD have started to remove their clothing and have released their demands, saying they will not move until authorities meet with them. Several hundred drivers are sitting and standing in a circle around the intersection of Flinders and Swanston Streets in central Melbourne, holding up placards and protesting against violence and abuse of taxi drivers. The protest started yesterday evening and has continued overnight. One of the organisers, Indian-born taxi driver Jazz Randyboy, said the protest had been peaceful. We bet it’s been peaceful, Mr Randyboy – and sexual. Seriously, is this a hack? Why are they stripping? Are they protesting by unleashing such a torrent of taxi-bound sensuality that the CBD grinds to an orgasmic halt, thereby greatly reducing productivity and sending the economy into a tailspin? For god’s sake someone tell us what is going on! UPDATE!! Are you ready for this jelly? The Age has a photo of the bare-chested cabbies’ protest. Over the jump for all the righteous sexy you can handle! More »

‘Idol’ Controversies Kick Into High Gear With Gay-Lapdance Confirmations And Videotaped Wishes For Santa-Rape

4:16AM Seth | We’ve expressed some frustration that American Idol hasn’t yet given us more to work with by way of controversies, but we’re happy to say that today brings some solid progress in that department. For starters, we have official confirmation via AP report that dark horse contestant David Hernandez once made a living giving dark horsey rides: More »

“What Would A Nice Girl Like Kylie Be Doing In A Wet Top Like That?”

3:36PM Jess McGuire | You’ve got to admire Wellington strip club owner Garth Rosson’s stubborn streak. After putting up a photo outside his strip club of a woman looking suspiciously like Our Kylie (aka St Minogue of Camberwell), he’s refusing to back down in the face of Kylie’s lawyers angry accusations the photo Garth is using is in fact one of Kylie. The legal eagles insisted Garth remove the image of Kyles from his window lest the Wellington public begin believing the pint-sized pop superstar is making a quick buck on the side Showgirls style, and for the time being Garth has pulled it from his shop front, but he’s remaining adamant that the woman in the image IN NO WAY RESEMBLES KYLIE MINOGUE. Looking at Garth’s picture (left) and an image of Kylie (right), one can’t help but note the uncanny likeness to Minogue in the shot being used to advertise the strips. Troubling. How on earth will Garth reason his way out of this one? With the world’s greatest riposte, that’s how. He said his designer downloaded the image from an internet site three months ago and used it for a window poster. It was not labelled as a photograph of Minogue and he said he could not see the resemblance. “I’m not convinced, eh? What would a nice girl like Kylie be doing in a wet top like that?” WHAT WOULD A NICE GIRL LIKE KYLIE BE DOING IN A WET TOP LIKE THAT! That is, hands down, the greatest line we’ve read in a news article since Family First candidate Andrew Quah explained away his appearance on gay websites with “That’s not my penis”. More »

Sting Puts On The Red Light

10:45AM Clem Bastow | Tantric sex practitioner and originator of one of our favourite Q Magazine quotes of all time (”I’m ugly but I’m still sexy”) Sting has been spotted apparently visiting one of Hamburg’s biggest brothels, which bills itself as a strip joint. Straight after performing at the HSVArena in Hamburg, the 55-year- old singer jumped into a silver SUV flanked by two bodyguards and headed into town. As it turned out he clearly had relaxation on his mind. The Relax bordello prides itself on being one of the city’s most luxurious. Apart from indulging in the salacious gossip we know and love them for, we were particularly delighted with this little bit of extra “colour and movement” that the Mail added to the story: Magnums of Dom Perignon can be served in the whirlpool or “steamy sauna” or indeed poured over the breasts of young models (if pictures on the club’s website are anything to go by). The corker, though, is Sting’s publicist’s shrugging reaction to the whole kerfuffle: “Sting and his wife Trudie Styler have always been open about their interest in strip clubs.” Right, that clears all that up, then! More »