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5:05PM Jess McGuire | Now that his estranged daughter Jelena Dokic has spoken publicly (to The Age this week, in case you missed it) about her troubled relationship with her father, claiming that he was responsible for “bruises seen by coaches and competitors” during her time on the tennis circuit, Damir has reacted in a completely logical way – he’s threatened to blow up the Australian Ambassador in Belgrade’s car. More »
It Seems Damir Dokic Is As Calm And Cool-Headed As Ever
5:05PM Jess McGuire | Now that his estranged daughter Jelena Dokic has spoken publicly (to The Age this week, in case you missed it) about her troubled relationship with her father, claiming that he was responsible for “bruises seen by coaches and competitors” during her time on the tennis circuit, Damir has reacted in a completely logical way – he’s threatened to blow up the Australian Ambassador in Belgrade’s car. More » 
People
12:25PM Jess McGuire | Oh, I totally forgot that I’d created this incredibly thrilling new Defamer Australia feature last month – my sincere apologies. If you’ve been wondering whether Lara Bingle and Michael Clarke are still as in love as ever, you’d better click through for the latest update in their relationship. More »
Bingle’N'Pup Watch: The Missus Has Been Invited To Cricket Camp
12:25PM Jess McGuire | Oh, I totally forgot that I’d created this incredibly thrilling new Defamer Australia feature last month – my sincere apologies. If you’ve been wondering whether Lara Bingle and Michael Clarke are still as in love as ever, you’d better click through for the latest update in their relationship. More »
People
10:53AM Jess McGuire | Last night on the way home from a Comedy Festival preview show (more about that later), we asked the cabbie how the Richmond/Carlton game had gone. “Carlton flogged ‘em”, he informed us. Then we asked how new Tigers recruit Ben Cousins had performed. “Ah, he busted his hammy…” The driver paused dramatically, and we hung on his every word. “… he’s on ice for six weeks!”
More »
Ben Cousins Injured!
10:53AM Jess McGuire | Last night on the way home from a Comedy Festival preview show (more about that later), we asked the cabbie how the Richmond/Carlton game had gone. “Carlton flogged ‘em”, he informed us. Then we asked how new Tigers recruit Ben Cousins had performed. “Ah, he busted his hammy…” The driver paused dramatically, and we hung on his every word. “… he’s on ice for six weeks!”
More »
People
8:20AM Jess McGuire | Bad news for the Manly Sea-Eagles with word that fullback Brett Stewart has been officially charged with assaulting a teenage girl on Friday night.
Manly rugby league star Brett Stewart has been charged with the sexual assault of a teenager after a booze-fuelled season launch in Sydney on Friday.
The Sea Eagles fullback has been under police investigation after being accused of sexually assaulting a 17-year-old girl following the team function last week.
Urgh. Unlike most footballer-related assaults I’ve read about in the news over the past few years, this one didn’t occur at a nightclub or in a seedy hotel, but outside Brett Stewart’s apartment block – where the 17-year-old girl also lives. More »
Rugby League Player Charged Over Sexual Assault Of Teenager
8:20AM Jess McGuire | Bad news for the Manly Sea-Eagles with word that fullback Brett Stewart has been officially charged with assaulting a teenage girl on Friday night.
Manly rugby league star Brett Stewart has been charged with the sexual assault of a teenager after a booze-fuelled season launch in Sydney on Friday.
The Sea Eagles fullback has been under police investigation after being accused of sexually assaulting a 17-year-old girl following the team function last week.
Urgh. Unlike most footballer-related assaults I’ve read about in the news over the past few years, this one didn’t occur at a nightclub or in a seedy hotel, but outside Brett Stewart’s apartment block – where the 17-year-old girl also lives. More »
People
10:52AM Jess McGuire | Given her well-documented success in the pool over the years, it would be unfair to call Leisel Jones a teenage ne’er do well. And she seems to be a pretty determined lass who knows exactly what she wants, so we can’t really say she’s the most mixed up non-delinquent on the block.
Here’s hoping then that she continues refusing to allow the lyrics of a famous song from the musical Grease to shape her future. Stay in beauty school, Leisel! Don’t miss your midterms and flunk shampoo!
Our sporting stars are known for doing some strange things after retiring (think Mark Philippoussis on Age of Love). Leisel Jones is no exception. While the Olympic gold medalist hasn’t left the pool for good, she has decided to take a year off and go to beauty school.
I think this is great. It makes a change from sporting stars flogging cars/cereal/anything else they can on the telly in order to make a buck.
And what does Leisel have to say about her new career in the world of beauty? More »
Leisel Jones Is Attending Beauty School, Hopefully Not Planning On Dropping Out
10:52AM Jess McGuire | Given her well-documented success in the pool over the years, it would be unfair to call Leisel Jones a teenage ne’er do well. And she seems to be a pretty determined lass who knows exactly what she wants, so we can’t really say she’s the most mixed up non-delinquent on the block.
Here’s hoping then that she continues refusing to allow the lyrics of a famous song from the musical Grease to shape her future. Stay in beauty school, Leisel! Don’t miss your midterms and flunk shampoo!
Our sporting stars are known for doing some strange things after retiring (think Mark Philippoussis on Age of Love). Leisel Jones is no exception. While the Olympic gold medalist hasn’t left the pool for good, she has decided to take a year off and go to beauty school.
I think this is great. It makes a change from sporting stars flogging cars/cereal/anything else they can on the telly in order to make a buck.
And what does Leisel have to say about her new career in the world of beauty? More » 
Fulfilling Our Quarterly ‘Aussie! Aussie! Aussie!’/Sports Coverage Quota
10:04AM Clem Bastow | Unless it pertains to Wayne Carey doing something sinister or Shane Warne sending a hilarious text message, you’ll notice that we’re not exactly sports mad here at Defamer Australia. However, at least in the case of your Associate Editor, I do make exceptions for the Tour De France, and feel it’s only right to bring you the news that local lad Cadel Evans (pictured with a special friend) has pulled on the Yellow Jersey in the famous road race. Anything else would be practically un-Australian.
In other words, those of you who don’t follow cycling, go make your coffee now:
Cadel Evans became the fifth Australian to claim the Tour de France leader’s yellow jersey after finishing eighth in the 10th stage in the Pyrenees won by Leonardo Piepoli (Saunier Duval), of Italy.
In a spectacular display of courage after sustaining severe cuts and bruises to his left side in a high speed clash in Sunday’s ninth stage, Evans (Silence-Lotto) now leads the Tour by the smallest margin.
It’s okay, it’s over now. Thus endeth (unless he wins) Defamer Australia’s official coverage of the Tour De France.
Breathe, you made it. Let’s hold each other for a bit…
…Wanna make out a bit, too?
No, I didn’t think so. More » 
Stuff Corey, We Want To Party With Australia’s Young Sports Stars!
9:58AM Clem Bastow | Not long after Swimming Australia told its young charges that they were not to post any more naughty snaps on their PERSONAL Facebook pages (evidently a bit of mind control a day helps swimmers work, rest, and play), the News Ltd trolls have been raiding the Facebook and MySpace galleries of just about every other young sporto in Australia – and the results are hilarious!
You can see the Tele’s gallery here, but head over the jump for a few of our favourites.
More » Although Nervous About Tonight’s Fight, Mundine Still Prepared To Mess With Opponent’s Mind Through The Power Of Bling.
2:55PM Jess McGuire | Choc is back, yo!
The titleholder stepped out of his Hummer, strode into his own bar for the weigh-in for tonight’s world title fight, and then flashed $15,000 in cash and used it as a fan to cool himself.
And if Mundine’s intimidation tactics don’t work and he happens to lose this evening’s match, he can always return to his other career… appearing in the music videos of various Australian artists.
Fingers crossed he doesn’t smear poo on his contact lenses before tonight’s bout.
More » Sports Star Says “Bingle Makes Me A Better Cricketer”
8:59AM Jess McGuire | Hot on the heels of the blissfully romantic news last week that absence had indeed made the heart grow fonder when it came to the relationship between cricketer Michael Clarke and Lara “Waaaaait, Marriage Mean La-La No Touch? Me Confoozed!” Bingle, we’ve now been informed that the batsman credits Lara with making him want to be a better man, or some As Good As It Gets-esque rubbish along those lines.
Young gun Michael Clarke revealed yesterday he wants to be Australia’s next Test captain – and he credited model girlfriend Lara Bingle with giving his life fresh purpose.
Clarke, speaking for the first time about his 12-month relationship with Bingle, said he is a better batsman because he has never been happier off the field.
Clarke believes his romance with the Cronulla model, who shot to national fame after she starred in Tourism Australia’s controversial Where The Bloody Hell Are You? campaign, is helping drive him to become a better cricketer and a better person.
“I think the person I am now, it’s got a lot to do with Lara and theres no doubt that’s the truth,” he said.
“I’m certainly the first guy to say that if you are happy off the field it shows in your cricket.
“I’m wrapped with my life at the moment and I’m really, really happy and I think that will come across in my cricket.
Unless Christo has quietly made his way to Oz and begun wrapping Michael Clarke and his house/car/workplace, we can’t help but suspect the Daily Telegraph meant to write that Clarke was “rapt” with his life. But what do we know?
“Seeing somebody like Lara certainly makes me happy I have something to look forward to when I get home.”
“Seeing” makes sense. We never assumed “talking” to somebody like Lara would bring too much joy to a person’s life, but we suppose just staring at her half-naked body would be okay, if she promised to keep her thoughts to herself.
More » A Touching Sporting Tale
9:39AM Jess McGuire | The Daily Telegraph published an article this morning about a rugby team who simply refuses to give up. The Wollondilly White Waratahs woman’s rugby side is yet to score on the field, although we suspect this may not be the case once a few Bundy Rums have been knocked back after the game.
Sport’s most courageous team of battlers produced their best performance of the season in going down 72-0 to Wollongong at Wilton in New South Wales on Saturday.
Going down 72-0 is an impressive statistic by anyone’s standards.
No, we’re not quite sure what that means either. But we’re fairly certain one is meant to make many nudge nudge wink wink jokes when discusses lady footballers/hockey players/cricket players, and this article uses the words “going down” so IT’S NOT LIKE WE HAD ANY CHOICE, PEOPLE.
More » 