"Scandalism" is all the rage these days in London, where the hottest gossip of the day is found in neither Fleet Street rags nor blogs but rather spray-painted on the very walls of its subjects' homes. Exhibit A: Sienna Miller, whose recent, only slightly immodest dalliance with married father Balthazar Getty (among other tormented ex-flames) may or may not have prompted the scandalism above, which materialized on Miller's home late one recent evening. The ensuing investigation is going pretty much as sluggishly you'd expect; we're told a reward is available for information leading to the culprit's capture and conviction, just as soon as Nottingham is green lit again.

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As first noted here a few weeks back, ye olde stalled Robin Hood epic Nottingham is all but dead in the water now at Universal, where Ridley Scott, Russell Crowe and Sienna Miller were locked in to start shooting this month before a flurry of setbacks delayed it indefinitely. As presumed, labour woes and casting haggles were indeed among the pitfalls, but you have to know that an implosion of this magnitude can't simply stop there — as described after the jump, Crowe's weight, Scott's attention span, script haggles and other factors also conspired to keep Hollywood out of the forest this time around.

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Gangly Welsh "funny" man and most recently Sienna Miller's ex-fiance Rhys Ifans has traditionally been one of the blokes on Defamer Australia's "would love to get a beer with" list (alongside his female peers Charlotte Church, Tina Sparkle and Kiera Knightley).

However, I will be formally rescinding his membership after his latest "hilarious" gaffe: saying date rape is a-okay!

When asked by station Q Radio to describe a track by band the Gutter Twins the Welshman replied: 'It's kind of like being date raped, which I like.'

When the presenter asked whether date rape was a good thing he said: 'Well yeah, for guys.'

Graham Rhodes, spokesman for a the Roofie Foundation, a helpline for victims of drug-related date rape, said: 'If he wasn't to retract that, it would be nice for the 9,000 people who have been drug raped in the past 12 years.

'It shows a total lack of understanding and compassion for the issues.'

This is not the first time Ifans' sense of humour has been badly received.

Earlier this year he joked about paedophilia during a concert in aid of raising money to end child slavery and prostitution.

A note slipped over the Defamer transom this afternoon hints that all is not well in Nottingham, Ridley Scott's reimagining of the Robin Hood legend which was set to begin shooting with Russell Crowe and a really, really, really excited Sienna Miller sometime next month. But we're hearing now that the film — which twists Crowe's Sheriff of Nottingham as the hero against Robin Hood's ruthless thief — is postponed indefinitely. SAG strike fears, as Miller alluded to in June? Unavailable historical background on Maid Marian's merkin? Inquiries to Universal (which last year paid seven figures for the script) and Scott's pals at Imagine Entertainment weren't immediately returned, leaving us in the lurch for a long weekend to come. Alas, we'll always have Costner.

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To Sienna Miller's credit, the It Girl Who Never Really Was continues to work steadily, despite never having fully congealed in the public's consciousness as a recognisable movie star. (Overheard at an Arclight Stardust screening: "Who's she again?" "She's the Australian one who slept with Ryan Phillippe's nanny, I think.") Miller is due later this year in Hippie Hippie Shake, a biopic set in the '60s in which her flower-child character was required to dispense with cumbersome material possessions (like clothing) and jump wholeheartedly into the era's acid-fuelled orgy culture. One continuity problem: Her overly manicured private areas—a configuration popularly referred to today as a "landing strip"—were simply unheard of in the predominantly laissez-hair climate of the time.

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In light of some breaking hair-related news involving future fugitive Katie Holmes, we must admit that we've underestimated the Scientology prisoner. As the Daily Mail reported over the weekend, Broadway's least-alluring celebrity rookie recently chopped off even more of her already chin-grazing bob, and even dared to pull out those hair curlers in what could be the beginning move in a new strategy to finally flee the Knights of Hubbard. Though Kate's "boyish" cut may backfire, it's a clever plan nonetheless. Below, we provide five of the best examples of drastic 'do-caused catastrophes directly linked to highly publicized breakups, from Jennifer Aniston's self-conscious bob that led to Brangelina, to Cameron Diaz's unfortunate goth dye job that failed to inspire any future sex or love sounds from Justin Timberlake:

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Confession time: ever since she rescued Alfie: The Version Jude Law Wrecked from racking up Razzies with her sparkly hair and oddly transfixing "good naked" scenes, we've been a Sienna Miller fan. One of the few stars to design an actual wearable fashion line, a regular on nude beaches, not to mention her impressive performance in the neglected but excellent Interview, she's the kind of weird, devil-may-care actress we like. But our girl is in quite the pickle these days. With a loony ex-boyfriend sobbing over her in sappy love songs and telling her to "fuck off" in tabs, and a new set of her trademark topless pics featuring concrete evidence that she's screwing former heroin addict, richer-than-God oil heir, and married father of four Balthazar Getty, Sienna isn't exactly having the best month ever. However, it has been an NSFW one...

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As we bide our time waiting for the inevitable $200 million feature adaptation of Captain N: The Game Master (Zac Efron, call your agent), Paramount has unveiled new details on its latest strip-mining of 80's nostalgia: G.I. Joe. Directed by failing-upward Stephen Sommers (Van Helsing), Joe is all set for a summer 2009 release, but that doesn't mean it's too soon to reveal three new teaser posters and a new, utterly superfluous subtitle: G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra. Sadly, none of the teaser posters show off the film's most curious bit of casting — Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Cobra Commander — though the film's new subtitle seems to hint that Cobra won't be donning his live-action costume until everyone's bullshit detectors receive a proper workout. Posters (and reactions) after the jump!

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We've already heard enough stars insisting that those sex scenes we find either major turn-ons (Mickey Rourke force-feeding Kim Basinger strawberries on the kitchen floor in 9 1/2 Weeks) or majorly eye-scarring (Heather Graham faking her way through grainy limo thrusts in Boogie Nights) are totally perfunctory while filming. With the massive crew surrounding them, the sudden lighting checks, and simple fact that they've gotta feign spontaneous heat take after take, we've leaned towards taking their word for it. And as it turns out, no matter how big the star or legendary their prowess in the bedroom, even simple kissing scenes with the most gorgeous A-listers around range from "awkward and sweaty" to "slightly icky and sort of wet." Where Tom Cruise, Angelina Jolie, Harrison Ford, Leonardo DiCaprio and more rank on the list of Worst On-Screen Kissers after the jump.

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Though she may not be among the top five searches on Mr. Skin, Keira Knightley just adores getting naked on screen. Discussing her upcoming Sienna Miller lovefest Edge Of Love, she tells People: "I always bare my breasts...It's not like it's only in this film!" Whoopee! Well, not so much. We took Keira up on her implied offer to review just how many times she's stripped down for the sake of The Craft, and have one primary question post-study: having exposed 26 (no, not a typo) cinematic naughty bits so far, are we so sure they really belong to her? NSFW evidence lies after the jump.

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