Update: As more information comes to light about Scientology swordsman Mario Majorski, a Defamer operative within the religion writes in to say, "The Church may want to put Mario into the distant past, but he was at Flag in FL in 1993 and did one of their confidential 'New Life Rundowns' called L-XI. He said it cost him $US60,000." Quite the budget buster. [Previously: Introducing Mario Majorski, the Scientology Swordsman]

Though he may be hard to recognise when he's not brandishing two samurai swords, this is Mario Majorski, the man who hopped out of a red convertible and attempted to cut a swath through the Scientology Celebrity Centre yesterday in Los Angeles. TMZ has the mugshot from one of Majorski's earlier arrests in Oregon, and more information is coming to light about Majorski's complicated relationship with the religion, which he was once a member of:

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Over the weekend, a man was killed in a bizarre attempt to storm the Scientology Celebrity Centre in Los Angeles. Here are four lessons we have learned from the story that could avert such a circumstance.

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If Brooke Shields and Tom Cruise could patch things up after Cruise called her a pseudoscience-worshiping devil-thetan incubator (we're paraphrasing), then surely, we thought, Cruise and Matt Lauer could eventually let bygones be bygones. You may remember how the actor and anchorman tussled back in 2005 when Cruise accused Lauer of not personally, personally understanding either Ritalin, postnatal depression, or why the son survived in War of the Worlds. Now, we hear, the Friars Club Roast of Lauer that just concluded in New York featured a surprise, couch-jumping guest. Says KTU reporter Paul Westcott:

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The Katie Holmes Road Show and Protester Revival landed last night near Times Square, where the star made her Broadway debut amid a devoted crowd of tourists, family and Scientology nemeses flanking 45th Street. The reviews — and the heartfelt pleas for calm — are in after the jump.

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T-minus 48 hours and counting until theatre critics can officially digest the spectacle of Katie Holmes's Broadway debut in All My Sons. Can't! Wait! But while the amateur pundits have already gotten a jump on the show's previews and Anonymous protesters have hammered out the kinks in their own play in front of the Schoenfeld Theatre, one perennially-trustworthy perspective has trickled out onto the Web this morning for everyone to parse: That of Fox crack gossip and drama wonk Roger Friedman, who hastens to note that today's column is a "report," not a "review," lest Holmes might have been saving her A-game for Thursday's premiere.

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In the "special skills" area on the back of her headshot, renaissance woman Jennifer Lopez is able to list so very many things: whispery acting, AutoTune proficiency, early 1990s dance mastery... the list goes on and on. Still, there is one useful Hollywood skill that La Lopez has always been cagey about showing off, and it's her intimate familiarity with Scientology. Though her dad has been a Scientologist for over twenty years and Lopez pals around with famous L. Ron disciples like Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes, and Leah Remini, she tells the Daily Beast that she's still a free agent — though her new twins might not be so lucky:

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The revelation that the Will Smith-funded New Village Learning Academy will offer a uniquely Hubbardian curriculum came as little surprise to us last May, back when the star couldn't go a week without some new Scientology-related scandal consuming his painstakingly OT-free public persona. Finally, after taking a summer off, the NVLA controversy crept back into view last night when Smith attended the premiere for Lakeview Terrace, which he co-produced; despite his bodyguard's best efforts at suppertime interference, Smith confronted the issue head-on with Fox gossip Roger Friedman:

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While other well-photographed actresses might don a pair of pants to go out if their knees were covered in bruises, Kate Holmes is of a different breed. Not only did Holmes attend a performance of August: Osage County with black-and-blue welts studding her bare legs, she did it while leggings were surely close at hand. Are the bruises the result of a suddenly aggressive Suri, a painful rehearsal for Katie's Broadway debut, or a niacin-cleansing ritual gone awry? The Daily Mail takes us inside the scene:

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After getting through a remarkably quiet week without a single controversy or racketeering lawsuit, the Church of Scientology was dealt another bruising body blow with Isaac Hayes's death over the weekend. As much as the Church is expected to miss the singer/songwriter's hot buttered soul and totemic cultural presence, Hayes's "friend" and generally unreliable Fox source Roger Friedman notes in today's touching eulogy how the Church wrung every last cent from subpar live performances after his 2006 stroke.

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