saved by the bell

Chastened By ‘Chesthairgate,’ Mario Lopez Vows to Never Go Shirtless Again

3:30AM Defamer Hollywood | Though newly minted Extra host Mario Lopez may appear squeaky-clean, longtime readers of Defamer will remember the oh-so-smooth skeleton in his closet: Chesthairgate! Caught in a terrible lie about whether or not he shaves his chest (who can forget the plaintive Star magazine commenter “chris,” who said, “He talks about how religious he is, and has such a strong faith. Excuse me…since when is not being honest ok?”), Lopez suddenly found his most valuable physical asset the object of intense scrutiny. Now, as he ascends to the position of respected celebutainment anchorman, a cruel Lopez is threatening to take his smooth, smooth toys and go home:

We’re So Excited: Screech Set To Unveil The Sex And Drugs Behind The Scenes Of ‘Saved By The Bell’

11:10AM Molly Friedman | When we used to wake up in the mornin’ after the alarm gave out a warnin’, it was always alright ‘cuz we were Saved By The Bell. Yes, all you ’80s-born kiddies, the show we embarrassingly grew up watching religiously despite the fact that catching a rerun these days makes us dry-heave, is in the headlines again. The frizzy-haired, unemployed trophy winner of the World’s Most Nauseating Sex Tape (that is, until Mini-Me stole the title), Dustin “Screech” Diamond, has given up on those comedy club circuit dreams and made the heroic decision to put his nose to the mirror grindstone. As Vulture reports, we will soon have the pleasure reading a tell-all book scripted by Diamond, detailing what really went on behind the scenes of that epic show. And if you’re like us, who consider Jesse Spano’s “I’m So Excited…I’m So…Scared” scene a pivotal moment in our adolescence, don’t despair — Diamond is said to be more than ready to spill each and every bean when it comes to revealing all of the dirty deets of Bayside High School’s Class of 1993. More »

A.C. Slater’s Abs Make Us Reconsider Our Wayward Youth

7:07AM Molly Friedman | Remember when A.C. Slater used to strut around The Max in his orange short shorts and sweat-drenched wrestling muscle tees? All while dousing the rest of the cast with the greasy goo dangling from his curly mullet? And how much it kinda grossed you out to the point where you decided from then on you would never, under any circumstances, be attracted to dimpled, mullet-wearing wrestlers? Well, Defamer would like to officially announce that things have changed. Mario Lopez is no longer a bicycle-pants wearing meathead, he’s a bonafide contestant for Best Male Body In The Universe. And he’s got a new workout book to prove it! But we decided to go ahead and compare the original AC to the new and improved Mario, just to clarify exactly how far he’s come. The before and afters, in all their muscly glory, after the jump: More »