Lindsay Lohan's career path may be studded with recent missteps (Labor Pains and a stint on Ugly Betty cut short with just one majestic eye-roll from America Ferrera, to name a few), but if there's one thing that actually seems to be going well in Lohan's life, it's that whole "dating Samantha Ronson" thing. Not only did it appear to inspire near-sobriety and some cogent blog posts, but it also repelled sleaze-meister Joe Francis, breaking him of his addiction to girl-on-girl action forever. So, how has Lohan shown Ronson her thanks? With a couple of cagey disavowals in the new issue of Harper's Bazaar, of course:

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Got a paper towel handy? You may need to clean your monitor after watching this much buzzed-about clip of Joe Francis on Tyra yesterday, in which the slimy, Girls Gone Wild conspiracy peddler talks about Lindsay Lohan ("She's not gay!") and her girlfriend, "Samantha Rosnan" (close!). "You dated Lindsay?" Tyra begins, as an evasive Francis wonders whether ten margaritas and two successful exhortations of "Show me that firecrotch!" in Cabo can necessarily be defined as "dating." Then, talk turns to Lohan's sapphic inclinations.

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Much of Hollywood is on edge (and making "eeeeeeew" faces) this morning as news quickly spread that some of our most treasured lesbian DJs, their reformed starlet girlfriends, a various other tenacious hangers-on have been exposed to waters that recently held a dead body. The location was the Roosevelt Hotel—certainly no stranger to corpses, hosting at least one accidentally fatal date-rape-drugging per weekend—but what made this tragedy unusual was the fact that: 1. the victim, a 30-year-old New York native, was discovered at the pool's bottom, not in a cabana with an iPod boombox still playing "I Kissed A Girl" on infinite loop, and 2. the pool was never drained. Page Six reports:

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Poor Lindsay. She finally just admitted to her relationship with Samantha Ronson, she has a meaty cameo in the season premiere of Ugly Betty tonight, and she even reportedly booked a gig as the guest judge for the premiere of Project Runway when it moves to Lifetime. Things were going so well. Not Mean Girls well, or even I Know Who Killed Me well, but about as good as they've been for her in months. And then along comes Star Magazine to burst her happy little bubble. That's right, the tabloid is reporting that Lindsay is "on the fast track to another drug and alcohol-driven breakdown."

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After months of open canoodling with celebrity DJ Samantha Ronson, Lindsay Lohan has stopped playing coy about whether the two of them are in a relationship, finally confirming the news on (of all places) last night's episode of the radio show Loveline. And she wasn't even prompted by the harsh interrogation techniques of Dr. Drew, either! No, Lohan — who had the phone passed to her after Ronson called in to discuss her hospitalized friend DJ AM — was caught flat-footed after an innocent question by Dr. Drew's cohost, Stryker.

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Perhaps it's just practice for the sapphic VMAs cameo that MTV wants her to make, but part-time actress Lindsay Lohan was snapped smooching Samantha Ronson in Manhattan yesterday. The development will no doubt please LAPD Chief William Bratton, who correctly intuited that Lohan "going gay" would somehow spirit her away from the more aggressive paparazzi in Los Angeles, though there is still no word on what father Michael Lohan thinks of the photo (we're sure, though, that a statement is incoming). Meanwhile, Playboy has offered Lohan a series of less tender snapshots, and they made a surprisingly low first offer:

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On one hand, we're right there with the folks challenging the ugly, disproportionate media scrutiny faced by gay celebrity couples. Seriously! Why shouldn't the likes of Courtenay Semel enforce their B-list bedhopping privileges with relish, and why should marrying material like Sam Ronson get a bum rap for being a no-good, disc-spinning, Lohan-using exploitation artist just because her girlfriend happens to drop by her increasingly well-compensated DJ gigs?

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Though MTV isn't always respectful of its own history, it can usually be counted on to remember one thing: a VMAs ceremony is nothing without a memorable kiss. Whether it's Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley or Madonna and Britney Spears, celebrity-on-celebrity Frenching is an absolute must if the network hopes to draw buzz through umpteen rebroadcasts the following week. Luckily, one of this year's biggest songs — "I Kissed a Girl" — gives MTV just the opportunity it needs. Says E!'s Marc Malkin:

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Oh my LORD. I know deep inside my soul that I shouldn't be nearly as gripped by Lindsay Lohan's personal life as I am, but when celebrities turn to their MySpazz blogs to get things off their chest, they capture my attention and I'm rendered helpless by their poorly spelled charm (see also Allen, L and Love, C).

And so, after reading our American cousin's take on "bad dads", I found myself on Lindsay Lohan's MySpace page this morning reading a rant against her father Michael. US Defamer quoted a bit of Lindsay's outburst, but just in case you didn't bother checking out Lindsay's blog entry in its entirety, I thought I should point out this rather adorable excerpt.

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Though Lindsay Lohan and Hilary Duff have been rivals for so long that no one can even remember how it began (wait, Aaron Carter? Really?), there's at least one thing the two starlets can agree on this week: their dads each need a serious time-out. In fact, while Lohan took to the pages of MySpace to chastise her father, Duff's received an actual sentencing: ten days in the slammer for poor parenting. Before we explore why, though, let's begin with the latest in the Lohan family psychodrama, which reached its boiling point this week when a fame-hungry Michael Lohan took to the press to denounce the woman who his daughter has "gone gay" for: Samantha Ronson. That didn't sit so well with Lindsay, who made a scathing rebuttal today on her Myspace celebrity blog:

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