salma hayek

Salma Hayek’s Breasts Designated As New U.N. Ambassadors To Starving Children

3:22AM Kyle Buchanan | Though her stint on 30 Rock has been drubbed throughout the blogosphere, Salma Hayek’s campaign to win over television viewers has just taken a startling new turn: breastfeeding strangers on camera. More »

Breaking: Celebrities Smoke!

6:40AM Kyle Buchanan | The mainstream media (led by one overzealous blogger in particular) has just now realised that stars smoke cigarettes—witness this NY Daily News trend piece today! So why should we care about this incredibly obvious fact? More »

Helen Mirren, Nazi Huntress

3:40AM STV | Helen Mirren will trade in her two-piece for a gun in The Debt, a remake of an Israeli hit about a Mossad agent who comes out of retirement to track down a war criminal. [Variety] TNT fell for the old “Buy a Bruckheimer, Get a Wahlberg For Free” trick, not realizing it negotiated for Donnie’s new Boston cop procedural Bunker Hill. Gotta read those contracts, gang. [THR] More »

Ashton Kutcher 30th Birthday Hepatitis ScareWatch: Madonna, Gwyneth, Salma, Kate At Risk!

8:06AM Seth | Mid-February must be Hepatitis A season, as nearly a year-to-the-day from the Wolfgang Puck scare that made rubber surgical gloves and gas masks the accessories of choice at awards season soirées comes another potentially devastating celebrity contagion. Ashton Kutcher celebrated his 30th birthday [ed. note: Again?] two weeks ago at a club in New York, but it’s only just now surfaced that a waitress working there at the time was infected with the jaundicing disease, putting such luminaries in attendance as Madonna and Gwyneth Paltrow (and, to a lesser urgent-extent, Molly Sims and Rachel Zoe) at risk. Star magazine reports: More »

Viewers Stubbornly Refusing To Abandon Writerless Leno

6:20AM Defamer Hollywood | For at least their first three nights back on the air, the writerless Jay Leno has triumphed over WGA-sanctioned rival David Letterman in the Nielsen wars. In another sign that the TV apocalypse may finally be upon us, shows like Wife Swap, Supernanny, The Biggest Loser, and Celebrity Apprentice are so far either posting the same numbers as or outperforming the scripted shows they’ve replaced for their networks. [Variety] · Walden Media deems High School Musical star/naughty nudie-photo-scandal victim Vanessa Hudgens still pure enough to employ, signing her on to their coming-of-age dramedy Will. [THR] ·Once again indulging the female facial hair fetish she previously explored via her memorable Frida unibrow, Salma Hayek will play the bearded lady in Paul Weitz’s Cirque du Freak. [Variety] How is the writers strike affecting Canadians starved for imported American TV content? Click through and find out! [THR] · Christian Bale is “in negotiations” to join Michael Mann’s movie Public Enemy as the FBI agent hot on the trail of Johnny Depp’s legendarily beschlonged mobster John Dillinger. [Variety] More »

Short Ends: Catching Up With Some Amply Endowed Celebrities

6:45AM Defamer Hollywood | Either Adam Sandler’s next movie is about the Geico Caveman they call Hung Like Woolly Mammoth, or we have a whole new appreciation for the actor. Either way, he has our attention. “My mum and I stopped at a church during a road trip we were making from our home in Mexico. When we went inside, I prayed for the miracle I wanted to happen. I put my hands in holy water and said: ‘Please God, give me some breasts’. And he gave me them!” Yes he did, Salma. Yes he did. What feature is Renée Zellweger most proud of? Her unflappable sanity in the face of massive movie stardom. Just check out the screws on that girl – not a loose one in the bunch! David Letterman is reaching into his deep pockets to take care of his staff of stagehands, cameramen, and blank cue card holders. Looks like O.J. Simpson will be going to trial on “on kidnapping, armed robbery and other charges,” where he could face a life sentence with no parole in a prison full of amply endowed inmates. More »