sackings
The Curse Of ‘The Bill’ Strikes Again, And No, We Don’t Mean Being Trapped At Home On Saturday With Nothing To Watch
10:00AM Clem Bastow | The Bill, for all but a select pocket of Australian television viewers, has always been the show that turns up when there’s nothing else on, or the theme-song that sends you leaping for the remote after your favourite show is over, so keen are you not to sit through an hour of PC plods taking in unwed mothers from the housing commission flats and having hushed yet furious conversations in corridors.
However, did you know The Bill is also CURSED?!
Well, “cursed” in the same way that Nilsson’s Without You is – it seems being sacked from The Bill can lead to very bad things indeed.
Veteran actor on the The Bill Jeff Stewart slashed his wrists on set in a ‘cry for help’ after he was sacked after 24 years on the show.
The 52-year-old who plays PC Reg Hollis desperately dialled for help from his dressing room after the apparent suicide attempt.
Security staff dashed to his assistance after the alarm was raised at the TV studios and he was taken to hospital.
This is, clearly, terrible news, and we trust Jeff is now being looked after in hospital, but… HE WASN’T THE FIRST TO SUCCUMB TO THE BILL-SACKING CURSE!
*dramatic orchestral burst*
Kevin Lloyd, who played Detective Tosh Lines, was sacked in 1998 due to his drinking problem. Days later, he collapsed after a drinking session and died.
Is no one safe from this scourge? (Apart from the hundreds of other actors who’ve come and gone on the show, obviously, but just let us have our fun, OKAY?)
That famed siren-and-bad-’80s-guitar themesong is going to have sinister connotations from now on. More » 
We Had A Sneaking Suspicion About All This
11:45AM Clem Bastow | We told you recently about Sneaky Sound System’s apparent rampage through the hotel rooms of Albury that left fly-wire screens countrywide fearing for their lives.
However, now it seems it wasn’t “the System” (thanks, Channel Ten ARIA promos) who trashed the joint at all, but a crewmember who’ll now be looking for alternative employment.
Sneaky’s Angus McDonald said: “This is all news to us. We had a great time in Albury so it’s a shame we’ve been dragged into this mess. Trashing a hotel room is a bit passe, isn’t it?
The band’s manager, Amber Zada, has confirmed a crew member was fired over the incident but claimed the band had nothing to do with it.
Zada said: “No member of the band has any knowledge of the incident, but we’re investigating allegations we have read in the press and we’ll take whatever action is needed.
“From our initial investigations, the reports have been grossly exaggerated and we wish the hotel had just talked to us about it first. It has been blown out of proportion.”
Well, you know, there were innocent fly-wire screens’ lives at stake; you can understand the proprietors’ sense of urgency when it came time to alert the people of Australia to such atrocities.
Honestly, some people… The mind boggles. Hopefully Bunnings Warehouse can come up with some sort of charitable drive to deal with this emerging tragedy before it gets any more out of hand. More » 