The upcoming issue of Star breathlessly reports that Spencer Pratt Attack ringleader and excellent on-screen kisser Mary-Kate Olsen might be headed back to the floral pastures of celebrity rehab any day now. The mag's sources cite a quasi-recent "collapse" outside an LA club, ongoing depression over her "lover" Heath Ledger's sudden death, and brewing tension between MK and her more low-key twin, Ashley. But, as we pointed out earlier this month, the twinset's more rebellious (and interesting) half is on a roll. After appearing on her first Elle cover solo, starring in a critically praised indie movie and, of course, teaming up with David Letterman in a campaign to destroy everyone's most hated reality villain, Mary-Kate hasn't shown any signs of crumbling. We took a closer look at this alleged collapse, the odds that Ledger and the itty bitty billionaire were in any way involved romantically, just how grave the tiny twosome's differences are, and came up with three reasons why we don't buy it.

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As we sadly noted earlier this month, soon-to-be-dad and LA's resident surfing community iconoclast Matthew McConaughey had quite the rambunctious stay in Nicaragua earlier this month, "dirty-dancing" his way through every girl at a bar and drunkenly diving into sewage ditches searching for his beloved flip-flops. But more details about the chest-baring rabblerouser's boozy nights are now coming out, and despite his endless attempts to kiss and "put the make on every woman in his path," McConaughey reportedly wound up going home with two male bar buddies instead. And his two new guy pals in question made it all the way to his hotel room. What happened once the threesome got there, after the jump.

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Not that claims like these are shocking when you're part of that wild fame-chasing bunch currently Living Lohan, but Star is reporting that one of Michael Lohan's old flings has taken a paternity test to prove her 13-year old daughter is the newest member of everyone's favourite dysfunctional family. According to the mag, a Montana woman named Kristi Kaufmann is coming forward to "make sure the truth comes out...'My daughter has a right to know who her father is -- and it's Michael.'" Now married to a new cowboy hat-wearing realtor, the 44-year old's claims aren't exactly being denied by the wig-loving Born Again. Michael's ambiguous response, and whether or not the details and timing supplied by Kaufmann support the possibility that Lindsay Lohan has yet another little sister who will inevitably want to "be just like her," after the jump.

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Right on the heels of Mary-Kate Olsen's passive aggressive jabs at ex-classmate and David Letterman punching bag Spencer Pratt last night, the professional Hollywood sleazeball has promptly retaliated by releasing a few downright cruel and unoriginal insults to Us today. As Pratt tells the weekly:

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Shouldn't single actresses know by now that giant diamonds worn on a particular finger shouldn't be flaunted in public? Cameron Diaz was photographed sporting an ostentatious sparkler yesterday in Santa Monica, suspiciously displaying the gory piece on her engagement ring-reserved finger in a very blatant manner. But considering she's just barely started dating former cokehead/Jennifer Aniston ex Paul Sculfor, and has been linked to half a dozen other canoodling partners in the past few months, we're not jumping on the "Diaz Engaged!" bandwagon quite yet. The notoriously anti-paparazzi actress might have just wanted to fuck with her camera-flashing enemies. Still, whenever a star makes the decision to debut a big ol' gem there, it's proven tough to gage those inevitable engagement rumors' validity. We looked back at celebrity diamond-spotting of the past, from the most firm denials that led to splashy weddings, to the sure things that turned out to be false alarms, after the jump.

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A vague and incredibly mysterious blind item in today's NY Daily News initially gave us a headache because not a single "groovy"-like hint was included:

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Just when we thought Britney's 378th comeback attempt (you know, the real one) was on its final wobbly legs of materializing, a salacious cover story from Life & Style paints Britney as a suicidal and unstable girl (but not yet a woman). Using the headline "Britney's Suicide Drama," details are promised regarding the currently slimmed down doting mother who's finally perfected that weave nonsense after years of failing, along with her battles with repeated suicide attempts. As the weekly's source claims, "I spoke with her many times and I've gone to her house...She's on major medications...like a zombie now. She's a shell of her old self." But after getting past the enticing glossy cover, we found several holes in the exclamatory top story, a few of which we unveil after the jump:

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If you're among the five or six people who saw Bandidas, the 2006 Bonnie & Clyde: The Girl-On-Girl Edition! bomb co-starring Penelope Cruz and Salma Hayek, the first thing you should be is ashamed of yourself. Now that we've scolded you, it's time to learn the possible reason why the "comedy" caper was so downright awful. Yes, Salma and Penelope wore very cute little pink lacy numbers, the film had a scene featuring Hayek jumping spread-eagle on to a horse, and Steve Zahn provided some slight comic relief just by being in the damn thing, but a revelation involving where the two chicas called home while filming may explain why the film went awry: "The stars slept at a [cocaine] trafficker's house for several days during the 2006 shoot. The property belonged to Sergio Villareal Barragán, known as 'El Grande' or the 'Big One.'" We took a look back at the cringy trailer to see if there may be any truth to the suggestive allegations that Salma and Penelope spent some time living the glamorous drug den life while on set.

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It's become clear that the one of the biggest trends of 2008 thus far is the emergence of lesbian chic. Girls can marry girls, starlets can publicly make out with their female roommates, and even though The L Word was canceled, its real-life L Word stars can still get it on with other lesbian cable stars. The two scissor-kick sisters in question? Well, one of our favourite indie actresses, Catherine Keener, has a little sister named Elizabeth, who starred in the Showtime series as Dawn Denbo. And while she's never publicly 'fessed up to preferring ladies, those rumours have been an elephant in the collective lesbian community room for years. As for Keener's alleged makeout partner this past weekend, she's quite the opposite: she's loud and proud about being out. Details on Keener's game of tongue twister over the weekend, and who she played with, after the jump.

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Just in time to wring the last drop of anemic lifeblood from his wife's doomed presidential campaign, Bill Clinton's pervy, protective inner circle gets a close look from Todd Purdum in the new issue of Vanity Fair. And oh, the class: Model-schtupping moguls Steve Bing and Ron Burkle aside (the latter of whose private jet "Air Fuck One" has apparently acquired prime status among the ex-president's transportation modes), we're particularly intrigued to read about Clinton's more comely Hollywood company:

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