rove

Let’s Discuss Lady GaGa’s Performance On Rove, Shall We?

1:36PM Jess McGuire | If you watched Rove on Sunday night – AND WHY WOULDN’T YOU, THE BOY NEXT DOOR HAS WON THE HEART OF THE NATION, GOOD ENOUGH FOR KEVIN RUDD, ETC! – you would have seen both unfunny comedian Dane Cook (seriously, nothing he said, nothing, made me even smile. And I wasn’t planning on being a hater! Also, there’s this which kinda cements him as a fool in my mind) and new pop sensation Lady GaGa. Now, I love pop. So does Bastow. If you haven’t picked up on that during your time on Defamer Australia, then let me hammer it home. Me and Pop used to fool around as kids. There was a brief period in high school where I didn’t want to be seen anywhere near Pop, and then once I stopped caring about what other people thought of me, I realised that what me and Pop had was something special, you know? And sometimes we see other people, and sometimes I look at some of the folks associated with Pop and think “What are you doing?! They don’t deserve to be linked to you! They’re bringing you down, ruining your rep!” but Pop has a mind of its own and I have to respect that. Nay, I have to love that. And I do. So I wanted to LOVE Lady GaGa’s appearance on Rove. I do like ‘Just Dance’ as a song, truly (although I prefer the sheer awesomeness and enthusiasm of Ladyhawke, or the shameless feel good hook-heavy Danish stylings of Alphabeat) but I was completely underwhelmed by her performance on Sunday night. Her pretentiousness during the interview before hitting the stage was almost adorable, but not quite. And then there was the performance itself… More »

Do You See What Melbourne Confidential Did There, Thorpey?

1:43PM Clem Bastow | Whether we like it or not (and I don’t), and particularly since he’s stopped swimming competitively and tends to hang out at fashion events and on Australia’s Next Top Model, Ian Thorpe’s sexuality has become a hotly debated topic of conversation amongst the gossip set. To wit, this piece from today’s Herald Sun Confidential, which is a run-on from discussing an interview Thorpe gave in Who in which he was evasive about his love life: Gender specifics aside, the real test may come when the Foxtel personality appears on Rove to promote the History Channel’s swimming special this Sunday night. How will Thorpe respond to Rove’s trademark question “Who would you turn gay for?” What would be great would be if Thorpey turned up clutching a handbag, squealed about Armani and Liza Minelli all night, and then hollered “BARBRA STREISAND!!” when Rove asks said question, before dumping a bucket of porridge on Rove’s head, shouting “punk’d!” and then performing Judas Priest’s Breakin’ The Law as a torch song backed by the Tony Bartuccio Dancers. That ought to at least shut them up through the powers of extreme confusion if nothing else. More »

K.d.’s Constant Cravings For Police Escorts Leave Vic Police In The Naughty Corner

9:32AM Clem Bastow | When you use the phrase “police escort” in the same context as a term like, say, “recording artist”, you generally think of artists like Elvis Presley, The Beatles and Whitney Houston, non? Well, you can add the bane of sub-editors and style-guides everywhere, k.d. lang, to that list – the Canadian chanteuse apparently required an escort to the Rove studios on the weekend (why? Er, the plane was running late… or something), and it seems Victoria Police are not happy about the indulgence. Shadow Minister for Police and Emergency Services Andrew McIntosh said overworked police would be disappointed to hear of the “waste of resources”. “Whether it was paid for or otherwise I would be questioning the value to the community of getting a singer to an interview on time,” he said. “Providing these resources is jeopardising public safety, when there are stations like Werribee and Sunshine where the resources just don’t exist.” Well, Mr McIntosh, how do you know, like, that her car, um, might have had to drive through Sunshine and Werribee on the way? Yeah! Maybe she came from Avalon or some shit! Honestly, this is all pretty stupid, particularly considering the buck-passing that’s going on between her people, Roving Enterprises and Channel Ten. Who cares if she’s late, it’s live TV, make a gag out of it! Put on another of those hilarious stand-up comedians that Rove likes to feature! More »

When WAGS Go Bad

1:13PM Jess McGuire | Frankly, there are so many highlights in this article about footballer Brent Harvey’s partner Shayne McClintock’s fisticuffs with a woman who insulted her after snatching a pillow from her son Cooper (and shortly afterwards, the lady who tried to stop Shayne laying the smackdown on aforementioned insult-slinging woman), we’re almost beside ourselves. The partner of Kangaroos footy star Brent Harvey has escaped conviction for punching two mothers at a children’s play centre after one of them called her “trailer trash”. … Ms McClintock ran at Ms Nance, who was carrying her one-year-old, and punched her in the head from behind. Off-duty officer Tania Perry, who was holding hands with her two-year-old, was belted in the jaw by Ms McClintock as she tried to pull her off Ms Nance. A well-timed fist to the skull is undoubtedly the smartest way to clear up any misconceptions folk may have regarding how classy you are. More »