rolling stones

Keith Richards: “I Smoke My Head Off”; Father Christmas: “I May Not Actually Exist”

8:32AM Clem Bastow | There are a few people in this world that you know will always provide hilarious/troubling soundbites, and Keith Richards is one of them (the others are George W. Bush and Kristy from Big Brother). Doing his bit for every government’s anti-drugs campaigning, Keef – at the New York premiere of Martin Scorsese’s new Stones concert flick, Shine A Light – was more than happy to wax quotable about his, er, indulgences. The 64-year-old rock veteran of the Rolling Stones said he is writing his life story, but it is proving to be difficult as he has trouble remembering what happened yesterday. Former heroin addict Keith, whose career has been notoriously awash with drugs, admitted: “I smoke my head off. I smoke weed all the damn time. “But that’s my benign weed. That’s all I take, that’s all I do. But I do smoke, and I’ve got some really good hash.” Bless him. Normally stoners make us want to smack them around the face and make dramatic statements about throwing their microwave nachos IN THE BIN unless they clean up their acts, etc etc, but we’ll let it wash with Keef. The man wrote the Satisfaction riff, ferchrissakes – most stoners would be lucky to write a shopping list for “peanut butter, red cordial, 2-Minute Noodles and… umm…” More »

Blackpool Councillor Overturns Stones Ban, Makes Dad Joke Heard Around The World

9:00AM Clem Bastow | Given that they are, in most people’s eyes at least, the bastion of granddad rock these days, it’s worth remembering that there was a time long ago in a galaxy far, far away when The Rolling Stones were public enemy #1. One of those places was in Blackpool, where the Stones were banned from playing in 1964 following rioting at a gig they played there – and the ban remained in place until yesterday (though we don’t really imagine there were too many times when Mick and Keef and co tossed up touring options and said, “You know, boys, as much as I love Wembley and all, what I really want is to play Pleasure Beach in Blackpool… oh yeah, we can’t,” before they all drowned their sorrows in a round of quadruple whiskeys). But what struck us was the way in which one of Blackpool’s councillors was clearly so excited to make the Stones joke he’d been sitting on for the past fifteen years or so that he just had to slip it into his official statement. See if you can spot it: “They are icons and I for one would certainly welcome them back,” council leader Peter Callow told The Gazette newspaper in Blackpool. “It would certainly give me some satisfaction if they did play here.” Oh Peeeeterrrr! We’re surprised he didn’t go on to say that he was close to his 19TH NERVOUS BREAKDOWN after telling the people of Blackpool that YOU CAN’T ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU WANT for the millionth time before he realised it was time to START ME UP and let his people RIP THIS JOINT. Peter Callow, DON’T STOP, you make us so HAPPY when you get your ROCKS OFF! Here endeth the punning section of today’s Defamer Australia edition. We now return you to your usual coverage. More »

Mick ‘N’ Keef Advise Against Drug Use; The Ironing Is Delicious

10:25AM Clem Bastow | Ho, ho, ho, those crazy old Rolling Stones, there’s no keeping up with them these days! Just what will they think of next? Well, it turns out, they’re having a Pat Cash moment, and are advising younger musicians – or just younger people, period – not to indulge in drugs to the prodigious levels that they and their bandmembers did during their heyday (or, in Keef and possibly Charlie’s cases, still do). We’d like to believe that Keith Richards gave his quotes while sucking on a Camberwell carrot. “When we were experimenting with drugs, little was known about the effects,” Mick Jagger said at the premiere of a film showing the band in concert. “In our time, there were no rehab centres. Anyway, I didn’t know about them.” Jagger, 64, experienced international notoriety when he was briefly jailed in 1967 for possessing drugs, but he is better known now for his devotion to fitness. He prepares for tours by running 12km a day, swimming and kick-boxing. Keith Richards, the band’s guitarist and a former heroin addict, warned that if Amy Winehouse, the 24-year-old singer famous for songs such as Rehab and Addicted, did not give up drugs she could end up looking as wrinkly and wasted as he did. “She should get her act together,” said Richards, also 64, whose reputation for drug-fuelled antics led many to believe his joke that he had snorted his father’s ashes. Jagger had previously expressed concern about Winehouse’s descent into alcohol and drug addiction, saying: “I’m worried she might die if she goes down the road that she has taken.” Last year, Ronnie Wood, 60, another of the Stones, who once snorted so much cocaine that he damaged his nose, encouraged Kate Moss, the model, to break up with Pete Doherty, the drug-addicted singer. Wood said Doherty “wasn’t exactly very good for her, was he?”. Aww, they care! Bless their wrinkly little hearts. Although, we think Keef at least may be onto something – we don’t imagine many of these hot young druggy stars being particularly enamoured with the idea of turning into him once they pass 50, particularly the female ones. Perhaps they should start putting him on the fag packets? More »

Is Mick Jagger Set To Start Wearing Daggy White Tracksuits And Hanging Out With Guy And Ashton?

8:48AM Clem Bastow | The Rolling Stones have never been particularly interested in religion beyond the daffy hippyisms of She’s A Rainbow and their wacky dabblings in dark mysticism and apparent Satan-worship during the late-’60s, and for this we thank them. However, that looks set to change with news that Mick Jagger has allegedly been seen getting about with one of those Kabbalah “red string” bracelets around his wrists (which he apparently stopped waving about long enough for someone to get a shot of them) – and the gossip rags reckon it’s all for love. Sir Mick, 64, seems to have shown more interest in the spiritual side of life after getting together with L’Wren Scott. Last month, the couple stayed at the 347-room Indian palace home of the Maharaja of Jodhpur and collected mystical trinkets for their £10million Chelsea mansion. Last year, when the Stones were on tour in South America, Sir Mick took time out to have his “auras cleansed” in a smoke ceremony conducted by a roadside shaman. Well, it could be worse – it could be ScientoLOLogy. Really, the only foolishness involved in getting into Kabbalah (which is not-for-profit, despite its many “recommended” accoutrements) seems to be the shelling out of ridiculous amounts of cash for $9 bottles of holy water. And, obviously, the whole “men wear white tracksuits” thing. We just can’t see Sir Mick getting down with that (though we’re sure he could wear it well). More »

Ron Wood Announces Intention To Snort Cremains Of His Entire Family

7:45AM Defamer Hollywood | Even though Keith Richards makes all the headlines for doing things like snorting his dad, it turns out that Ron Wood may have been the Rolling Stones’ most accomplished drug addict. We’re just happy that Wood is finally receiving the recognition he so richly deserves. [Rush & Molloy] More »

Amy Winehouse Round-Up: Mick Wants To Be Your Daddy

10:13AM Clem Bastow | You should know by now that whenever we say “Well folks, this looks like the end of Winegums Watch…”, something always comes along to save the day – well, today we have been saved by Sir Mick Jagger. Class! The Rolling Stones frontman and Winegums’ knight in white satin has spoken out in support of Winegums (who pulled out of her Stones opening slot a few months back due to “exhaustion” or the like), who he sees a little of himself in (and that’s not a metaphor). He says he wishes Amy was his own daughter so he could guide her through the murky music world. He added: “It’s a shame that happened. She would have been amazing on that tour. “It would have been full circle for the Stones, as she is like some of these classic soul singers from the past that inspired us. To have a woman that sings just like them in this time is wonderful. “If only she would sort herself out. It is hard as your mind has to make that switch. If my mind had not always told me that I should not do too much I could have ended up like Amy years ago. But I always had that voice in my head that kept me on my toes and told me to stop altogether in the end. I realised I didn’t want to die young.” His Mickness even went so far as to offer to record a duet with the troubled singer, if that’s what it would take to help get her back on track. And for once, we don’t think he means a special “duet” in the “recording studio” that exists, magically, between his bedsheets. More »

Ronnie Wood Has Quite A Few Things He Wants To Tell You

1:40PM Clem Bastow | With the kind of breathless enthusiasm we’ve come to know and love, the Mail is offering a few tidbits from Rolling Stone Ron Wood’s upcoming memoirs, starting with the awesomely titled “The day Keith Richards pulled a gun on me…by fellow Rolling Stone Ronnie Wood“. As you can imagine, the story is the sort of drug-fuelled lunacy that the Stones copyrighted in the ’70s, but our favourite part is the “read more” options offered up by the Mail. To say it’s an embarrassment of riches would be an understatement! Take that, Tony Curtis! At the rate they’re going, Ron and the Mail will be down to “I went to the shops yesterday” and “Sometimes I have tea instead of coffee with my morning papers” by the end of the week. More »