rocknrolla

The Madonna/Guy Ritchie Divorce: A User’s Guide

2:00AM STV | So the Sun, England’s most tasteful, reputable daily tabloid, sent word around late Tuesday that Madonna and Guy Ritchie will officially divorce by the end of the year. (”They can’t bear the pretence!”) We unpacked our grain of salt while sorting through the months of rumours preceding this one, but with everyone from the AP to Time hitching on and the singer’s exasperated rep admitting, “We’re not going to know anything until the US wakes up,” all public signs indicate this is finally it. After the jump, a quick recap of how we got here, and what’s likely next.

‘Express,’ ‘Quarantine’ Climb Into Multiplex Over Leo’s Dead ‘Body’

2:00AM STV | Welcome back to Defamer Attractions, your regular guide to everything new, noteworthy and potentially hideous this week at the movies. Today we see another fistful of titles tossed on the fall-release glut, none of which may have the stamina to outlast Disney’s purse dog in a three-day race at the box office. We also have our refined eye on the weekend’s most disappointing opening as well as our official art-house underdog, plus a few cherry-picked new DVD titles for the shut-ins among you. You know how this works by now: Our opinions are our own, but with free, near-gemological precision like this, why go anywhere else?

Jeremy Piven’s Toronto Appearance Reportedly Implodes Canadian Niceness Levels

4:50AM STV | There’s only so much of the Toronto Film Festival’s flavor and clusterfucky pageantry we can deduce from our workstation deep in the Defamer Salt Mines, but until the State Department restores our passports to good standing and we get that furlough we’ve been promised since mid-2005, we’re happy to defer to our all-seeing operatives on the scene. One particularly attentive tipster writes today from the party honoring RocknRolla, Guy Ritchie’s trilogy-launching crime caper featuring Jeremy Piven as the manager of a junkie rock star/art thief/Mafia scion. Which was evidently beside the point once Piven arrived with his own drama, as our mole reports after the jump: More »

Today in Toronto Hell: Anne Hathaway’s Shoes, Michael Cera’s Backpack, Guy Ritchie’s Vision

9:05AM STV | The Toronto Film Festival is right about at its midway point — an essential milestone from which to take stock of noteworthy developments and drama that we couldn’t help but watch smolder from Defamer HQ. And while some of our principal plotlines either have yet to unwind (Paris and her doc show up tomorrow) or were resolved to our satisfaction (The Wrestler wins the fest’s distribution sweepstakes), there remains a bundle of loose ends requiring maintenance and attention from a distance. That’s Canada for you!

Joel Silver, ‘Rocknrolla’ Among the Inventory on Display at Warner Bros. Fire Sale

2:20AM STV | Add another “maybe” to our speculation about Joel Silver’s future at Warner Bros.: Reports today indicate that the slumping superproducer is shopping around Guy Ritchie’s Rocknrolla, a Dark Castle project scheduled for release by WB in October. Maybe. Now Lionsgate and Sony are supposedly in talks to pick up the action/crime thriller lest Warners overextend itself this fall with titles inherited from New Line (Pride and Glory), Picturehouse (The Women) and Warner Independent (Slumdog Millionaire, Towelhead). More »

Madonna Takes Needle To Gerard Butler’s ‘Little Bottom’, Only Succeeds In Making Him ‘Severely Ill’

4:15AM Molly Friedman | Madonna broke into the public consciousness not because of her vocal talents, but because of her catchy tunes, dance fever, and suggestively nymphomaniac tendencies. But now, the nearly-50-year old has finally morphed into the modern day Britney Spears: she’s forcing unwilling male stars to pull down their pants, she’s making headlines mainly due to a messy divorce, rumoured affairs and plastic surgery rumours. Just as the British tabs begin to accuse the failed director/actress of going under a very sharp knife, it seems as though the exercise addict has used her seduction technique of shooting B-12 shots into hunky acquaintances’ butts. But this time around, unlike the soaring success story that was Justin Timberlake’s energizing vitamin-equipped ass, her second attempt on quasi-ex-husband Guy Ritchie’s newest leading man, Gerard Butler, left the poor man’s Clive Owen “severely ill.” Butler’s tale of Madge’s terrorist attack on his “little bum,” plus the allegations being made about how the extremes the Yankee doodler’s “grueling” beauty regime have affected her oddly sharp cheekbones and “popping veins,” after the jump.