rocking out with your cock out

God, Even James Blunt’s Rock And Roll Related Injuries Are Dull

10:51AM Jess McGuire | Look, we’ve nothing personal against James Blunt, really we don’t. As a person, he seems to be quite a lovely chap. We’ve read loads of interviews with the man where he seems charming and quick-witted and he certainly doesn’t take himself seriously, and the fact he is worth gazillions and lives in a mansion on a party island in Spain with his own discotheque is the perfect riposte for those breathlessly banging on about how boring and rubbish his music is. That said, his music is boring and rubbish, and we honestly can’t fathom why a sane person would voluntarily purchase a record which sounds like a cat is being fisted while someone plays acoustic guitar in the background. Whatever. Different strokes, different folks. But we couldn’t help but sigh when we learned of a recent injury James suffered whilst indulging in the thoroughly EXCITING and NOT-BORING act of stage diving! James Blunt, who will tour New Zealand later this month, has broken his little finger while stage diving. He said: “I don’t know what made me do it. I jumped off stage at the end and was chased by women, and men, in the crowd. I started running, and the next thing I knew I had broken my finger. “I don’t even know how I did it. I can’t play the piano but I can still play the guitar with my remaining fingers!” THANK GOD, NO ONE WILL EVER STOP THE MUSIC. Funnily enough, Goodbye My Lover makes us want to jump off something too. More »

Axle Whitehead: I’ve No Regrets About Flashing My Cock At The ARIAs, And I’d Do It Again!

9:22AM Jess McGuire | Axle Whitehead, scat-happy former Idol contestant, disgraced Video Hits presenter, and a man currently flirting with musical success thanks to his surprisingly likable Coldplay-lite ballad “I Don’t Do Surprises” has announced he has no regrets about infamously displaying his manhood at the ARIA Awards a few years ago, and damn it – he’d pull it out once more if he was lucky enough to win something in 2008! “If I get nominated this year for an ARIA, which would be fantastic, I might have to take it all off,” he laughed. Whitehead has no regrets about the incident, which led to him being sacked from his presenting job. “It was all fun and games,” Whitehead said. “I just thought, ‘why not lighten the mood and get my tackle out,’ but I ended up getting fired for it. But I have absolutely no regrets – I think more people should do it.” So do we, Axle. So do we. Andrew G, James Mathison – we’re looking at you. More »