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Are We Dead Yet? Is This The Afterlife?

9:30AM Clem Bastow | In case you missed the memo, yesterday was D-Day: the day the Large Hadron Collider was turned on, searching for dark matter and The God Particle and generally teetering close to the brink of the destruction of all mankind, or so we’ve been told. Hell, even Google got in on the party! But is it really going to suck us into hell through a mini black hole, a la Event Horizon? Professor Stephen Hawking was typically nonplussed about its world-ending capabilities, even placing a bet that it wouldn’t find the Higgs Bosun “God Particle”, though he did put good money on its ability to earn him a few more paperweights: He said: “If the LHC were to produce little black holes, I don’t think there is any doubt I would get a Nobel Prize, if they showed the properties I predict. That’s the spirit! But perhaps, through all this, you are still a little confused as to what the LHC actually does? Perhaps you downloaded the 115MB of schematics and instructions from our siblings at Gizmodo and still can’t seem to put all the bits together in the right way? Sounds like you need a lesson in particle colliding – via the power of rhyme!