rambo
Big Screen
Sly Stallone Voice Mail Clarifies Subtleties Of Rambo 5
4:28AM Richard Rushfield | Leave it to the media to get the story wrong. Last week, the web was swarming with talk that the new Rambo movie would be just a big dumb action flick. Hard to imagine anyone would believe such talk. More »
8:06AM Mark | As a director, Rambo auteur Sylvester Stallone is as ruthless as he is brilliant; dare to defy him, and you can be sure that when you show up to work the next day, you’ll suddenly be listed on the call sheet as “Unknown Hostage Devoured By Man-Eating Pigs #3″ or “Mercenary Landmine Victim”: “One extra whose role as a mercenary consisted of a silent march through the jungle convinced the sound department to outfit him with a mic. ‘He delivered this rambling monologue about his life back in Colorado, when he had no lines at all’ says Logan. When Sly saw the rushes, he was furious. ‘Boom! That guy got blown up instead.’” [Complex] More »
Record 97.5 Million Viewers Tune In To Super Bowl Goliath-Slaying
6:40AM Mark | According to Nielsen’s preliminary overnight ratings, a record number of Super Bowl viewers tuned in to watch the Giants shock the world™ by upsetting the heavily favored, once-unbeatable-seeming Patriots, with 97.5 million people tuning in (and 105.9 million at its peak) for the game. The telecast may also finish as the second-most-watched event of all time, behind MASH’s 1983 finale. [THR] · Rewarding him for his ability to profitably resurrect the Rambo franchise, Nu Image/Millenium Films signs new international political icon Sylvester Stallone to write and direct two more action flicks; blogging convention dictates that we must identify these next projects as long-awaited sequels to films from his back catalog, like Cobras and Over the Top 2: Back Over the Top. [THR] More »
After ‘Rambo’ Banning In Myanmar, Stallone Offers To Take On Military Government In Person
5:35AM Mark | Sylvester Stallone’s Rambo, the writer/director’s powerful documentary on a mysterious, monosyllabic American boatman’s struggle to unseat the bloodthirsty military regime subjugating Myanmar, has struck such a chord within the country that its ruling junta is trying to stop the cinematic call-to-action from reaching Yangon’s black-market DVD stalls, where it could incite widespread rebellion by those inspired by Stallone’s rousing catchphrases: More »
The Only Rambo Review You’ll Ever Need
8:10AM Mark | Though we did try to communicate the level of pre-release excitement that consumed us during the run-up to Friday’s debut of Rambo by sharing charts and pointing out near-unanimous critical support for our breathless anticipation of what we were sure would prove an instant classic, we never got around to offering our post-screening thoughts on Sylvester Stallone’s opus. But rather than bore you with fifteen uninterrupted, giddy minutes of mimicking the sound of heads burst like overripe watermelons by high-caliber machine-gun fire, allow us to instead substitute the above, more considered appraisal of the movie’s merits by a leading online critic. Enjoy. More »
Box Office: Spoofed Spartans Edge Out Stallone’s Big, Blood-Drenched Comeback
8:00AM Mark | As you try to wash off the last of the oil you liberally applied to your torso for your unselfconsciously shirtless Rambo outing, have a look at the weekend’s box office numbers: 1. Meet The Spartans – $US18.725 million 2. Rambo – $US18.150 million America, it seems, has let Sylvester Stallone down. He gives and he gives, even a good twenty years past his cinematic prime, by offering up an exhausting 236 kills in a taut, blink-and-you-missed-the-slaughter- of-half-the-Burmese-army 93 minutes and still he’s subjected to the indignity of finishing behind a third-rate spoof flick. Still, Rambo performed well enough that executive producer Harvey Weinstein is already making noise about adding another chapter to the franchise, perhaps one in which the monosyllabic, mom-jeans-wearing killing machine plies his brutal trade back in the States, tripling his staggering Myanmar body count in an utterly punishing 68 minutes in an attempt to reclaim his rightful place atop the domestic box office.
Short Ends: Ryan Seacrest Buys Ellen A Useful Toy For Her Birthday
7:00AM Mark | Wait a minute: Did Ryan Seacrest think he was giving Ellen a dildo in a fun little gift bag? Oh, that’s just a bingo stamper, and not a Big Blue Violator? What a silly mix-up! An honest mistake, really. · Mona Lisa with a shoulder-mounted rocket launcher would’ve made a much better Rambo poster. · Mary-Kate Olsen’s thought process upon receiving that fateful call from the masseuse, in flowchart form. “Those pigs were about 400 pounds each, and there were four of them. I was tied pretty tight into that pigpen by my neck and my hands, and my mouth was gagged. At one point while we were filming one of the pigs broke through the fence and actually came right at me. I was freaking out, and they were rushing in to try to get me out, and of course Sly is in the background yelling, ‘Keep the cameras rolling!’” More »
Nauseated Critics Reveal That ‘Rambo’ Is Every Bit As Stomach-Churningly Violent As We’ve Dared To Dream
6:58AM Mark | The critics have spoken: Rambo is the nauseatingly brutal, 2.59-gruesome-kills-per-minute, Burmese-missionary-eviscerating, desperation-comeback-vehicle thrill-ride of the late-January moviegoing season! “Stunningly, unrelenting violent,” declares the Dallas Morning News! “[A]n adrenaline pump and purveyor of raw carnage[!!!],” raves the Philadelphia Inquirer. More »
New ‘Rambo’ Promises The Franchise’s Most Impressive Body Count To Date
7:35AM Mark | We never did get around to buying a ticket to Rocky Balboaduring its theatrical run, as obsolescent action star Sylvester Stallone’s comeback vehicle promised (at best) a body count limited to a sexagenarian pugilist whose steroid-weakened heart exploded from the exertion of flailing in the general direction of an opponent four decades his junior. After reviewing the aboveLAT chart (full scan here) detailing the carnage depicted in each chapter of theRambo saga, however, we have no such concerns about thenew installment’s violence level; not only will we show up at the multiplex on Friday night, we’ll be in our seats well before the coming attractions begin, knowing that with a staggering rate of 2.59 deaths-per-minute, wandering in during the opening credit sequence could deprive us of the experience of double-digit kills. Dead and Deader [WOW Report] Dead and Deader [LAT] More »
