When it comes to radio presenters who double as comedians, more often than not you could be forgiven for thinking that the commercial radio networks' definition of "comedy" was closer to "funereal" than "funny", so let's give thanks for the Nova Network's Ed Kavalee. Wrong Way Home's Kavalee (also a regular in the supporting cast of Thank God You're Here) hopped a red-eye to interview Pink before she returns to Australia on tour, and he has plans to make her trip a memorable one:

"First I would take her to the Jam Factory to show off how good I am on the skill testers," he said.

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Gangly Welsh "funny" man and most recently Sienna Miller's ex-fiance Rhys Ifans has traditionally been one of the blokes on Defamer Australia's "would love to get a beer with" list (alongside his female peers Charlotte Church, Tina Sparkle and Kiera Knightley).

However, I will be formally rescinding his membership after his latest "hilarious" gaffe: saying date rape is a-okay!

When asked by station Q Radio to describe a track by band the Gutter Twins the Welshman replied: 'It's kind of like being date raped, which I like.'

When the presenter asked whether date rape was a good thing he said: 'Well yeah, for guys.'

Graham Rhodes, spokesman for a the Roofie Foundation, a helpline for victims of drug-related date rape, said: 'If he wasn't to retract that, it would be nice for the 9,000 people who have been drug raped in the past 12 years.

'It shows a total lack of understanding and compassion for the issues.'

This is not the first time Ifans' sense of humour has been badly received.

Earlier this year he joked about paedophilia during a concert in aid of raising money to end child slavery and prostitution.

Did you stuff your face with enough beef over the holiday weekend? If not, Matthew McConaughey is gonna be mighty pissed off. Check out the new radio spot he recorded for the National Cattleman's Beef Association. You know, the dudes who came up with that "Beef, it's what's for dinner" slogan? Well, they got themselves a brand new golden-haired, A-list pitchman and the results have become a bit of an obsession here in the Defamer offices. Why does it fascinate so? Maybe it's because McConaughey plays up his every vocal tic for maximum effect, like he's trying to lure a small child into a windowless van with some candy. Or maybe it's because their new tagline, "Discover the power of protein in the land of lean beef," is so impossibly vomit inducing (and also a little homoerotic). Or perhaps it's because at the end of the day, Matthew delivers his most convincing performance since A Time To Kill. Whatever the reason, it totally works. I ate like 15 burgers this weekend and couldn't be happier. Listen to the ad after the jump.

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Surprising absolutely no one, yesterday underworld figure Mick Gatto fired up and cut loose with threats and jibes toward Derryn Hinch after being insulted on air by the 3AW shock jock.

I think my favourite aspect of this whole story is that the pair apparently both happened to have a copy of Paul Keating's Guide To Verbal Fisticuffs handy when their radio tussle kicked off.

Hinch, fresh from a two-week holiday, opened his program on Fairfax radio station 3AW attacking the celebrity status attained by Melbourne underworld figures, including Gatto, particularly since the Nine Network drama Underbelly aired outside Victoria.

The scathing editorial prompted Gatto to phone in.

"You are scum, and I tell you what, I have a punching bag at home with your name on it and I punch the s*** out of it," Gatto told Hinch.

Hinch hit back.

"If burning you is my job in life, I'll be more than happy to do it. I think you and all your ilk and all your mob and the Carlton Crew and the Carl Williamses of this world, you are all scum."

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Look, I'm not going to claim credit for Sonia Kruger's demands being met by MIX 106.5FM management, but I think it's fairly obvious Defamer Australia's public support of Tina Sparkle (and her wish to see her beloved producer returned to the studio) certainly helped the situation somewhat, don't you agree?

READERS: "NO"

Very well.

In any case, Sonia is happy once more!

Sonia Kruger has got her way at radio station MIX FM. Her executive producer has been reinstated on the breakfast program following Kruger's threat to quit.

Management at MIX FM knows which side its bread is buttered when it comes to the pulling power of the station - yesterday reinstating the breakfast program's executive producer after star recruit Sonia Kruger threatened to walk.

The popular presenter came in to bat for her MIX colleague Brenden Wood after he was benched "indefinitely" last week, seemingly scapegoated after McKenney's on-air jibes about Channel 9 newsreader Mark Ferguson.

The decision to shelve Wood after Nine pulled the rug on an estimated $100,000 worth of advertising pushed Kruger to fight her producer's rights - and winning - with management confirming Wood would be back in the studio this morning.

VIVA LA SONIA!

Defamer Australia BFF and Mix 106.5FM breakfast host Sonia Kruger is not a happy camper, and when The Kruges is grumpy, we're grumpy.

MIX FM's breakfast could turn scrambled today, after it emerged star recruit Sonia Kruger has threatened to walk unless the program's executive producer is reinstated from suspension.

Kruger was in Los Angeles on assignment for Channel 7 last week when her MIX colleague Brenden Wood was sent packing by management over a stunt which sledged Nine newsreader Mark Ferguson.

Confidential understands the decision to shelve Wood, after Channel 9 pulled $1 million worth of advertising, left Kruger to champion her workmate's cause from Tinseltown. Adding to her stressful work schedule, the Mix maven is believed to have written to her Australian Radio Network boss Bob Longwell over the knee-jerk reaction.

SHE DOES NOT NEED ANYMORE STRESS IN HER LIFE. God, she couldn't even accept a Logie without Daryl Somers jumping in front of the mic and hogging the limelight. Not. Good. Enough. Someone arrange a massage and some chocolates for Sonia, and assure the woman her beloved producer is on his way back to the studios.

"It's not for Sonia to tell management what to do but she has found Brenden to be a terrific producer and doesn't want this to affect the team's success," (Kruger's manager) Klemens said. "She's been very supportive of him as a colleague and a friend. The discussions we've had with management have been open and frank about that." Wood, who declined to comment yesterday, was benched "indefinitely" last Wednesday and has not returned to the station's North Ryde studios since.

Defamer Australia strongly supports anything Sonia wants.

If there's one constant in this fickle, fickle world of ours, it's that Derryn Hinch will, without fail, find the time to insult, upset and scandalise those around him. And he's particularly fond, it seems, of doing this when the object of his waffling is no longer around to defend themselves.

To wit, he's now sounding off about what he sees as the cause of his late 3AW colleague Clinton Grybas' sad and sudden death earlier in the year at the age of 35. Naturally, Grybas' family (and no doubt doctors) have refuted Hinch's soundbites.

All together now: DERRRYYYYYNN!

The family of football commentator Clinton Grybas has lashed out at radio host Derryn Hinch after he announced his former 3AW colleague died from a food allergy and heart condition.

The talented Victorian sport broadcaster's parents angrily denied the allergy claim.

Yesterday, an upset Sandra Grybas insisted the exact cause of her son's death remained a mystery. Mrs Grybas said a coroner had painted a possible scenario, but she declined to divulge the information.

"It's all rumour and innuendo, and we have nothing to say," she said.

Grybas father, Vic, said: "The coroner found it was unable to be ascertained."

Mr Hinch reported a coroner had found the combined effects of an allergy to something he ate or drank the night before and a faulty heart valve had claimed Grybas's life.

Seriously, Hinchy - don't you think cruising the obituaries for material is a bit... naff? Particularly when they were your colleagues! Heaven forbid he actually talk about things that are, you know, current and not to do with speculation and innuendo.

Just when you thought the only thing worth noting about these radio ratings wars we keep hearing about was whatever Kyle and Jackie O are doing, Sonia "Tina Sparkle" Kruger has thrown a bit of spice into the mix, lashing out - albeit in a relatively vaudevillian manner - at her Sydney breakfast radio rival, Alan Jones.

Evidently Kruger had a swipe at Jones' worst-kept-secret/most-scurrilous-rumour in radio, and Jones' 2GB cronies buddies were quick to jump to his defense.

The showbiz reporter, who registered a poor 4.4 per cent audience share compared with Jones's 19.1, antagonised her rivals when interviewed about the survey results, joking: "Now we know the real queen of breakfast radio is Alan Jones."

A furious Hadley told Confidential her comments were "cheap shots at a man who had done nothing but help her career".

"I don't know the woman and I don't want to know the woman but she has shown she has no class or dignity, taking a cheap shot at Alan's expense," he railed.

On air earlier in the day, Hadley described Kruger's Mix co-host Todd McKenney as a "pelican", threatening to "put (his) hands around his skinny little throat".

Where do we sign up!?

Our man [REDACTED] can't be too desperate for fame, as he was sufficiently spooked by a breakfast radio host's attempts to remove his "famous" yellow sunglasses (which, for what it's worth, we're pretty sure are from either Valley Girl or Sportsgirl) that the party king ran away!

He later returned and naturally the interview was peppered with the sorts of bon mots we've come to expect from Narre Warren's answer to Steve Rubell.

The 16-year-old from Narre Warren bolted out of the studio and fled down a fire escape after radio host Matt Tilley tried to remove his plastic yellow sunglasses, which he had kept on throughout the interview.

He was chased by several news camera operators and an anxious radio producer but disappeared.

[REDACTED] later returned to the studio and completed the on-air interview.

Before making his escape, [REDACTED] was asked if he had anything to say to his parents who might be listening.

"Sorry," he said.

Asked if he was planning to return to home, he said: "To get my clothes and stuff".

Asked if he ever wanted to go home again, he said: "I do sort of, but don't know right now".

Or, in a Gabbo-esque let down, will they reveal him to be Chris Lilley?

Two and a half months after originally announcing she was leaving the television show which has employed her since she was but a pup, Kate Ritchie has filmed her final scenes as Home & Away's Sally Fletcher. Sure, she'll soon be joining the breakfast team of Merrick and Rosso on Nova (one of the many new breakfast radio combinations we'll be keeping our eye ear on - AND JUDGING HARSHLY IF NEED BE - during 2008), but the fact remains... however will Home & Away survive without Sally? Huh? Why not get rid of Alf Stewart too, and totally fuck up our life?!

(cries hysterically)

(composes self)

Michael Idato isn't fearing change and sooking like a child, so let's hear from him now, shall we?

Since announcing her intention to quit the top-rating soap in September, Ritchie said preparations for her departure had almost overwhelmed her. "I've been trying to gather my thoughts and reflect on a few things. I feel such an intense, deep sadness.

"It's so hard to explain because on the other hand there is this overwhelming sense of excitement as well. A lot of people are joking about whether I will enjoy retirement, but I really feel like it's the beginning of something."

But here's something which has us unreasonably excited about the 2008 series of Home & Away.

The final episode for 2007, which aired last week, featured the arrival of a stranger, played by Josh Quong Tart, the word "Milco" (the name of Sally's childhood imaginary friend) written in the sand and an on-air promotion campaign which promises to solve "a 20-year-old mystery".

MILCO! MOTHERFUCKING MILCO!

Your move, Neighbours.