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How Twitter Saved The Celebrity P.R.
8:22AM Owen Thomas | Blogs, Facebook, and Twitter were supposed to liberate famous people from old-media gatekeepers. But John Mayer, Courtney Love, and others are teaching us that public figures are terrible at shaping their own image. More »
Marathon Spares the Undiscovered Third Nipple of Ryan Reynolds
7:58AM Kyle Buchanan | As near as we can tell, Ryan Reynolds is known for these five things, in order: shirtlessness, marrying Scarlett Johansson, that Pizza Place show, the Canadian teen soap Fifteen, and pantslessness (NSFW). Considering that two of those five accomplishments leave Reynolds pretty exposed, we thought that there was little left to discover about his impressive physique — that is, until he sat down with Rachael Ray to talk about the effect his recent marathon run had on his body: More »
Shannen Doherty Insists You Only Call Her Brenda When The Mortgage Payment’s Due
7:30AM Seth | Recently bestowed with official “icon” status by the L.A. Architectural and Faded Starlet Landmarks Association, Shannen Doherty pulled up a chair at The Rachael Ray Show table to discuss her recent cryogenic career-defrosting, appearing on a short but heavily promoted arc on the new 90210. She vigorously denied harboring any regrets about her decision to abandon the original series at its peak, explaining how the strain of playing a fictional bitch week-in and week-out was ultimately taking its toll on her real-life, bitch-being pursuits. As for why she chose to return to the fabled zip code, she admits she was hesitant at first; ultimately, it was something she did less for herself than for her fans—those “Brenda!”-chanting masses who have kept both her and her dogs in natural fabrics and macrobiotic vittles since her days on Little House on the Prairie. [Rachael Ray] More »
Paula Abdul Accidentally Swallows Own Tongue During ‘Rachael Ray Show’ Brownie Binge
9:34AM Seth | It’s really not the end of summer until Paula Abdul salivates over a Tupperware container filled with Rachael Ray’s delicious Klonopin-chip brownies. Side note: We believe that video breaks the world record for on-camera time in which Ryan Seacrest remains completely silent. [RR] HBO’s online arm HBOlab is launching a new web series starring YouTube microcelebs. At least one passionate YouTube critic is aghast at the results. [YouTube Reviewed] Requisite Annoying The Dark Knight Sequel Casting Rumour of the Day has Michael Caine confirming Johnny Depp and Philip Seymour Hoffman will play The Riddler and The Penguin, respectively. We stand by our assertion, however, that Hoffman was born to play The Kangaroo. [MTV] We know we dumped Defamer Job Listings, but that doesn’t mean we can’t still pass along an opportunity here or there: “Verso Entertainment is looking for an office/personal assistant for company President Cash Warren (yes, J. Alba’s producer hubby). Work with Cash personally and with his new website ibeatyou.com which launched Spring 2008. Agency experience preferred.” [Mail To] Remember how much fun we had with the Scatalogical Madonna Song Title Game? Well, just wait for Anus Blanket Bingo! [big. crush.] More »
Food Network Courts Spew-Ready, Binge-Eating Demo With ‘Eat the Clock’
8:05AM STV | As proven by the longevity of G4’s spew opus Hurl! (eight weeks yesterday!), television has finally reached that crucial cultural point where America’s taste for swampy gastric drama may yet outstrip its taste for… well, taste. To wit, even the Food Network — our Moms’ favourite leisure-time destination — is ready to push its programming to levels of guttural extremity unseen since Iron Chef Sakai wore a necklace of calf intestines to a climactic tasting in 1999: More »
Even Rachael Ray’s Audience Can’t Get Excited About Awful, Faux Paparazzi Service
10:50AM Defamer Hollywood | Perhaps inspired by the Britney-prompted downturn in paparazzi profits, former commercial photographer Tania Cowher has come up with a novel (yet terrible) solution: allowing non-celebrities to hire their own personal paparazzi via her service Celeb 4 a Day. After all, who among us hasn’t yearned to be stalked by a loudmouthed photographer screaming, “Over here! Look over here, you bitch!” on the way to Walgreens? The answer is “almost everyone,” at least if this clip from Rachael Ray is the judge. After grilling Cowher, Ray asks the audience to raise their hand if they’d use the service themselves, soliciting a feeble response. Next time, Tania, try Oprah: the audience will scream in pleasure when O yells “You get Getty Images! You get an X17 subscription! EVERYONE GETS A BAUER-GRIFFIN LOGIN!” More »‘Rachael Ray Show’ Overrun By Litigious Aneroxics
7:20AM Seth | In what will easily go down as the Most Insane Legal Filing of the Long Weekend, a male employee at The Rachael Ray Show has named producer CBS and several other staffers in a legal filing seeking $1.5 million in damages for anorexia discrimination. From TMZ: More »Easy-Meal Jihadist Rachael Ray Promised 72 Extra-Virgins In Paradise
5:35AM Seth | When leading fried-treat purveyors Dunkin’ Donuts hired Rachael Ray to represent their brand, they had no way of knowing the white-trash-cooking guru would use that platform to further her own take on the United States of America as a Satan-loving nation that wallows like a pregnant desert jackal in a cesspit of its own making. Unfortunately, that was exactly the message delivered by her Middle Eastern-influenced accessorizing choices, and the internet ad featuring Ray wrapped in a keffiyeh and sucking thirstily on a cruller-flavored latté has since been pulled from their site. Yes, Ray’s extremist leanings are shocking, but should come as no surprise to regular The Rachel Ray Show watchers who found it nearly impossible to come up with the “blood of a thousand Zionist filth-dogs” component of her Extra Chee-Z Shells n’ Cheese recipe, no matter how many specialty markets they searched in. More »
‘Ellen’ Tries To Poop On The Rachael/Rosie Love Parade
3:35AM Seth | In a Battle of the Lesbian Talk Show Titans (and Rachael Ray, who isn’t a lesbian, despite the fact that we could easily picture her spitting out tobacco juice from a softball dugout), producers of The Ellen DeGeneres Show made a last-minute attempt at blocking today’s Rosie O’Donnell-themed episode of The Rachael Ray Show. The reason? Concerns that Ray’s syndicated series, which used Telepictures-owned clips of Rosie’s old show, would beat Ellen’s (also a Telepictures production) in the ratings. The Scoop reports: More »
