pics

News.com.au Presents A Handy Guide To Spotting Music Festival Dickheads

1:08PM Clem Bastow | You know when you go to the Big Day Out (or equivalent), inevitably you’ll find yourself a) accosted by tools wearing matching “hilarious” t-shirts, b) laugh at goths whose makeup is melting in the summer heat or c) lose count of the number of “totally hot” chicks wearing bathers as outerwear? And have you ever thought “Gee, wouldn’t it be great to catalogue these poor souls in some sort of anthropological bible”? Those thoughtful people over at News.com.au have – somewhat unwittingly – compiled a shortlist of 50 of the biggest festival tools of the ‘07/’08 season, starting with these ladies: And featuring the witty caption: Radiant … these ladies describe themselves as The Wiggles on Speed.” If that’s enough to whet your appetite then while away a lazy ten minutes or so of your lunch break by weeping for the future of our once fine nation. Fifty compelling arguments for selective breeding can be found here. More »

It’s A Bit Early For This, Isn’t It, News.com.au?

2:57PM Clem Bastow | Like most fans of quality ’80s cheese, erotic pottery throwing, and excellent cult cameos, we were saddened to read this morning of Patrick Swayze’s battle with cancer (apparently pancreatic), which – depending on whether or not you believe The National Enquirer – could be terminal. It seems no one, however, was more upset than the picture editors over at News.com.au, who have prepared themselves for the less savoury of a few possible outcomes by putting together this gallery: “Life in pictures”? Doesn’t that sound a little too funereal for your liking? We thought so, too. Easy there, News dudes, he’s still alive! More »

The Pain Of Lley Lley ‘N’ Bum-Chin Summed Up In One Beautiful Photoshop Job

9:00AM Clem Bastow | It seems the Cartwright-Hewitts are starting to realise that selling their firstborn souls to the women’s mags may not have been a great idea as it seemed when they discussed it at their remedial English class, with Lleyton Hewitt having a whinge to the UK press about how “We are on the front cover of a certain level of magazine every week,” he said. “The last story was ‘Bec’s Breakdown’, full of lies and made-up quotes, but then a lot of people believe it.” However, what really tickled our fancy about this story was the masterful bit of Photoshoppery that the News Ltd team managed to whip up for the piece: Isn’t that visceral? It’s like their pain has been boiled down and reduced to one powerful JPEG. Heady stuff. And in closing, poor baby, diddums, etc. Maybe think about that next time Ita Buttrose (or whoever) comes knocking at the maternity ward door with a fat chequebook. More »