pets
6:45AM Defamer Hollywood | Apparently the only shitty thing Dane Cook likes to carry around is his act from five years ago. The “comedian” has had a complaint filed against him in a Los Angeles court because he allegedly refuses to clean up after his tiny Miniature Pinscher, Beast. (Get it? It’s little, but it’s called something big. Pet naming, now with comedic irony!) The neighbours even claim they have video of the “actor” letting his pooch pinch one off before walking away empty-handed. We hope this footage gets released, because it is most likely the only time we would ever watch a Dane Cook video twice. [NY Post] More »
6:45AM Defamer Hollywood | Apparently the only shitty thing Dane Cook likes to carry around is his act from five years ago. The “comedian” has had a complaint filed against him in a Los Angeles court because he allegedly refuses to clean up after his tiny Miniature Pinscher, Beast. (Get it? It’s little, but it’s called something big. Pet naming, now with comedic irony!) The neighbours even claim they have video of the “actor” letting his pooch pinch one off before walking away empty-handed. We hope this footage gets released, because it is most likely the only time we would ever watch a Dane Cook video twice. [NY Post] More »
Activists Concerned For Welfare Of Britney’s Dog, However Britney’s Children Will Have To Fend For Themselves
11:08AM Busty St Clair | Apparently PETA (that’s the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) and the American Humane Society are concerned that Britney Spears cannot sufficiently care for her new puppy. Spears has come under fire for buying a Yorkshire Terrier called London from a pet store. She has previously owned three other dogs Lacey, Lucky and Bit-Bit, but has not been seen with the pooches for months. PETA Vice President Dan Mathews says, “Britney needs a new puppy about as much as Lindsay Lohan needs a drink. “The only dog Britney is responsible enough to care for is a stuffed toy.” Oh, and apparently also two small children. But it seems the people at PETCBTTC (that’s People for the Ethical Treatment of Children Born to Trailer Trash Celebrities) and the American Humane Baby Naming Society are too busy to save Sean Preston and Jayden James. More »
Kirk Hammett’s Childhood Canine Sex Nightmare
10:36AM Jess McGuire | We can, with all honesty, assure you that the last thing we thought we’d be writing about this morning was a disturbing incident in Metallica guitarist Kirk Hammett’s childhood involving a man, a dog, and some thrusting.
Metallica guitarist Kirk Hammett is still scarred by the childhood memory of his neighbour having sex with his dog. The rocker was just 11 when stumbled across his pet dog Tippy being penetrated by his next door neighbour. He tells Britain’s Q magazine, “The guy took down his pants and started having sex with the dog! I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. “When he got up, I just took the dog and left. She was still wagging her tail.”
We like that Hammett waited for them to finish before approaching Tippy, who from what we can gather – tail still wagging gleefully – had a lovely time, the tramp.
Slightly off topic, we are reminded of our favourite quote from thoroughly wrong British comedy Nighty Night.
(Jill’s dog tries to hump Cath)CATH – I just had a rather uncomfortable experience with a German Shepherd when I was 9. He was very persistent.JILL – Were you wearing a skirt?CATH – Well yes, a party dressJILL – So you can’t lead them on and then cry rape Cath!
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