pete doherty
Flotsam & Jetsam
Kate Gosselin And The Bounce House Of Death
1:00AM Foster Kamer | Kate Gosselin angrily eats a popsicle and inflates a Bounce House of Death. Susan Boyle’s back, bitch! So is Britain-Bound Britney. And someone makes a dumb pun involving Paris Hilton and a hard-on. Presenting your Saturday morning gossip roundup: More »
Flotsam & Jetsam
Brangelina Getting Married To Squelch Rumours Of Love’s Demise
9:01PM the cajun boy | Brad and Angelina are getting married in New Orleans, Brooke Shields settled with the National Enquirer for kidnapping her mother, Mariah Carey is getting fat, Pete Doherty shot up on a commercial flight, and Denise Richards is addicted to boob jobs. More »
People
9:43AM Jess McGuire | Wow, when it comes to news stories featuring bodily fluids, we (by way of the hilarious legendary journalists over at Female First) are really delivering this week! Yesterday we learned of George Clooney’s refusal to allow PETA to produce tofu flavoured by sweat from his gym towel, and today we discover that the singer responsible for the gorgeous ballad Hometown Glory is willing to offload bottles of her piss for you… for a price. More »
Pop Star Adele Wants To Sell You Her Piss
9:43AM Jess McGuire | Wow, when it comes to news stories featuring bodily fluids, we (by way of the hilarious legendary journalists over at Female First) are really delivering this week! Yesterday we learned of George Clooney’s refusal to allow PETA to produce tofu flavoured by sweat from his gym towel, and today we discover that the singer responsible for the gorgeous ballad Hometown Glory is willing to offload bottles of her piss for you… for a price. More » 
Pete Doherty’s Cat Has Given Birth To A Litter Of Kittens
10:40AM Jess McGuire | At least, that’s what the Babyshambles frontman’s latest offering to YouTube would suggest.
Thankfully this video doesn’t feature Amy Winehouse picking up a new born kitty, holding it near the camera, and putting on a high pitched voice while begging her incarcerated husband Blake not to divorce her. No, wait. I wish it did have that. More » 
Amy Winehouse Round-Up: Winegums And Doherty… I Don’t Even Know
1:14PM Clem Bastow | File this one securely in the “WTF” cupboard: Amy Winehouse and Pete Doherty have made a batshit crazy YouTube video in which they play with baby mice and, um, yeah, like the title says, I don’t even know – but I think it’s probably safe to say that any brief flashes of Amy’s recovery earlier in this year can be shelved. Watch the odd vid, in two parts, after the jump… More »Pete Doherty Is ‘Drug Free’; I Am ‘A Magical Fairy Person’!
8:59AM Clem Bastow | Pete(r) Doherty emerged from prison yesterday, after a sentence of about six minutes, greeting the press by flapping around a certificate that “proves” he is drug free after his stay in the clink. Same old same old, really; I don’t think I’m the only person who is currently setting my watch according to when he’ll end up a) back in or b) back on the crack.
But what struck me was, well, how shit the certificate was:
Well Done!? Is this some new Scotland Yard initiative that attempts to treat hardened drug users and criminals like they’re back in Grade 2, in the hope that the desire for an elephant sticker is so great they will do anything, i.e. get clean/rat on their accomplices/stop raping kittens?
In fact, I wonder if Doherty didn’t just pop into the rec room before his release and whip something up in Word. To wit:
Feel free to print that out and take it to school on show and tell day, kids. More » 
The Fans React To News Of Pete Doherty’s Jailing
1:57PM Clem Bastow | In news that surprised not even your nanna who thought the end of The Crying Game was “a bit of a shock”, Pete Doherty buggered up his probation conditions and is being locked up AGAIN, as we told you yesterday.
Naturally, the Pete Doherty street team is up in arms about this, and have been spraying their vitriol all over the NME’s coverage of the case – to greatly amusing effect.
Some are surprisingly eloquent, some are aggravated, some are anti-Pete, but our favourite out of the lot has to be this one:
indierockchick4lyf
Apr 9, 2008
omgggthis is soooo sad!! he will miss the solo show in london that i was goin 2 :( i was realli lookin foward 2 dat..i hope he gets out n dnt do the hole 14weeks! he doesnt deserve it!! he is sooo talented, a tru poet n songwriter!! and most of all A LEGEND!!!!
That’s right, “indierockchick4lyf”, he is most certainly a “tru poet n songwriter”.
In fact, we feel confident that that phrase will be introduced into academia from this day forth. “Let us all turn to Chapter Three now, as we discuss the work of Whitman, a tru poet n songwriter. 4 lyf.”
More »
Pete Doherty Breaches Probation, Gets Jail, Calls M. Night Shyamalan To See If A Surprising Twist Can Be Added To His Life Story
9:50AM Clem Bastow | OH MY GOD YOU GUYS!!1 Guess what?! Pete Doherty is headed back to jail!
Really, Defamer Australia? Yes! Looks like, in a move that is completely out of character for the fine, upstanding young singer/songwriter, he breached his probation conditions and is back in the clink! For 14 weeks!
We know, we found it hard to believe ourselves! But the proof, as they say, is in the pudding (and the pudding is stained a queasy tinge of green and smells like stale cigarettes and wine dregs).
Parlophone Records said the Babyshambles frontman’s show at the Royal Albert Hall scheduled for April 26 would have to be postponed.
“Peter was very much looking forward to the show and would like to offer his sincerest apologies to all his fans and all those concerned,” the label said in a statement.
Adrian Hunter, Doherty’s manager, said there were “numerous reasons” the singer/songwriter had been jailed.
“One of them was his latecoming at probation hearings,” he said.
Doherty has been in and out of court over recent months in connection with his well-publicised battle with drug abuse. Tuesday’s sentence was handed down at the West London Magistrate’s Court.
Look, it’s getting to the point where they could quite reasonably throw Doherty in jail for the rest of his life and just save time and taxpayers’ money, couldn’t they? More » 
Please Give A Warm Welcome To The Newest Celebrity Scientologist, Mr. Pete Doherty
2:10AM Molly Friedman | Having (so far) failed to entice British power duo Posh ‘n Becks into their ever-growing nest of celebrity Scientologists, Tom Cruise and Co. have apparently decided that their next best approach to conquering Great Britain is to aim a few notches lower on the celebrity totem pole. The Sun is reporting that 2007 tabloid fixture Pete Doherty is “is hooked on the barmy religion which believes humans are an exiled race from outer space” [Ed. Note - Barmy?] and that he “has bought a pile of books on the subject” ever since falling into the sack with a Scientologist DJ (presumably not Danny Masterson, but you never know). But if we were running the CoS, we’d be a wee bit nervous about inducting Doherty into the clan; despite having killed more brain cells than Ozzy Osbourne, Pete’s not exactly the kind of guy one should entrust with keeping secrets. More »
