Get Used To It: Just when we thought we were done with today's People-led insurrection of the Claymates, this post from "NClayolina" pulls us back in: "I will never be able to listen to [Clay Aiken] sing, 'O Holy Night,' knowing he desires unholy nights." [The Clayboard]

Now that America has had time to process yesterday's shocking bombshell that Clay Aiken is gay (and now that Debbie from accounting has gotten her breathing under control), People magazine has released excerpts from their exclusive cover interview. In it, Aiken discusses coming out to his mother four years ago, a rocky experience that may have prepared him for the real hurdle: weathering reaction from millions of hysterical Claymates.

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We have a feeling that, were there a group of deadbeat dads out in Glendale (a la those Dina Lohan-lovin' freaks out East) who got drunk enough one day to form a Totally Awesome Dads Association (TADA!), they would most likely celebrate their first-year anniversary by handing out their Bud Light-drenched award for Father Of The Year to Papa Joe Simpson. Why? Well, as we already know, the former minister-turned-dadager managed to pimp out a few mind-numbingly boring exclusive wedding pictures featuring most annoyingly faux-punk new marrieds on the planet, Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz, to People a few weeks back. But what we didn't know was that, at the same time, Simpson was allegedly attempting to sell off his other daughter Jessica — not to the tabloids, but to then-boyfriend Tony Romo. See the astonishing managing skills this guy has? But he reportedly wasn't stopping at selling off his daughter — he was also said to be pressuring the quarterback to sign a client/manager agreement and become one of the magically successful Simpson Family Players:

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There's no shortage of sleazy surprises in the world of baby picture pimping. Today, TMZ reports that soon-to-be-dad Matthew McConaughey and his model girlfriend Camila Alves have hired an actual agent to auction off photos of their upcoming newborn's visage to the major glossies. And the "brand agent" in question, Todd Shemarya, has quite a record — he's the man behind Brangelina's record-setting deal with People, and Christina Aguilera's far less pricey cover with the same weekly. As disturbed as we are that such a man exists, we're more saddened to learn that former nude bongo player and hairy beach hippie McConaughey would cash in on his first kid. We're actually starting to miss the hobo doing push-ups outside a trailer we'd grown accustomed to. Then again, the $1MM that he's reportedly been offered by three separate spawn-obsessed mags can buy a lot of t-shirts. [a href="http://www.tmz.com/2008/05/15/mcconna-spawn-to-bring-in-big-bucks/">TMZ

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It took them long enough, but People has finally seized the magical capabilities of the world wide web and uploaded each and every cover in its almost 45-year history online. And while we hand-picked a few of our favourites, from a very Dirk Diggler-looking John Travolta in 1983 to the sad black and white sight of Jennifer Aniston's misty eyes looking up as Brad Pitt placed the wedding ring on her finger in 2000, we also featured a few after the jump that are slightly more disturbing. "Judge Judy Disrobed," and Brooke Shields doing her whole kiddie porn thing back in the 70s, for example. Plus, a very special throwback to a time when the world wondered whether Britney was looking "too sexy too soon" ... way back in 2000!

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Today, People has revealed that Kate Hudson will appear as the cover girl for their 2008 Most Beautiful People issue, and we'd certainly like to send out a hearty congrats to the recently divorced single mum who's currently nursing Owen Wilson back to health. But after taking a look back at the list of stars who've previously nabbed the annual issue's cover spot, we fear there may be a curse accompanying the glossy honour. Sure, Leonardo DiCaprio (1998) and Julia Roberts (2000, 2005) haven't slipped up since having their smiley visage top the list, but a sizeable chunk of the winning alumni eerily saw their public and private lives undergo a downward spiral following their appearance on the issue's cover. We took a closer look at the possible curse-laden honour after the jump:

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After shelling out a reported $1MM to Nicole Richie and That Guy From Good Charlotte, People unveiled their Super! Exclusive! Must! Credit! People! baby photos of Harlow Winter Kate Madden today. And something about those droopy eyes and vacant glare do suggest that Joel Madden is indeed the father. Although we don't yet see any resemblance to Mama Nicole, Harlow is definitely packing junk in the...cheeks. But that's a good thing! For a close-up of the just-under-two-month-old sporting the grim expression of someone who knows that their life is going to turn into a True Hollywood Story, click through.

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This week's special issue of People - perhaps the magazine's second-most anticipated installment behind its annual Baby Bumps, Secret Weddings, and Conspicuous Nose Jobs spectacular - brings some happy news: Matt Damon will wear the magazine's Sexiest Man Alive tiara for the next 12 months, a choice that may indicate a seismic shift in the criteria it uses to select its honourees; if this newly established precedent holds, we may be entering a Golden Age of Sexy Lists in which less conventionally handsome Hollywood stars (work out all you want, Matt, you still have the face of a cherub who can't quite lose those last three pounds of baby-angel fat) can compete on equal footing with the throbbing slabs of leading-man-beef who tend to dominate the glossies' evaluations of Hollywood hunksmanship. People explains its choice:

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