4:25AM Richard Lawson | That’s a lot of money! Anguilla must be so embarrassed. Also today: Meryl Streep as the Iron Lady, two vampiresses team up to kill people, Judd Apatow heads to the Playhouse, and Scream finds another victim. More »
4:50AM Defamer US Edition | Undaunted by the poor reception accorded Hamlet 2, Hollywood is pressing on with two even more unlikely sequels: one likely to provoke an excited “Oh my gahhh!” the other, simply an “Oh my.” We’ll start with the latter: strange as it may seem, Variety reports that Todd Solondz is moving ahead with an “untitled part-sequel, part-companion piece” to his incredibly unsettling 1998 comedy Happiness. If the idea of a Happiness 2 makes you feel just this far from being completely hysterical 24 hours a day, why not meet its unlikely cast of Pee-Wee Herman, Demi Moore, and Emma Thompson! No, this is not a delayed April Fool’s Joke, and there is thus far no word on who will be masturbating on, near, or about whom, but the project will begin shooting this October in San Juan, Puerto Rico (naturally).
9:00AM Seth | On America’s Got Talent last night, David Hasselhoff was refreshingly candid about the stirrings in his loins elicited by Drag Britney. [AGT] Step! Two, Three, Ball, Step, Ball, Reverse, Change! Watch out stars—Lance means business! [Mollygood] In this new promotional shot from Land of the Lost, Will Ferrell stands next to the kind of Sleestak you might imagine posing for pictures at Disneyland. [First Showing] Mmmm…Hannah Montana Sweet & Sour Gummi Cocks. [BWE.tv] And last but not least, it’s Paul Reubens’s birthday today. In his honour, enjoy the entire Pee-wee’s Playhouse Christmas Special. Happy birthday, Pee-wee! Mm…Birthday cakey. [YouTube, YouTube, YouTube, YouTube] More »
Celebrity Tattoo Horrors: Why Inking Bald Britney And Bob Barker’s Menacing Grin Is Never A Good Idea4:30AM Molly Friedman | At some point in all our lives, we must ask ourselves: to tattoo or not to tattoo? We have yet to take the plunge, but when and if we do, we most certainly will not be inking our bodies with Pee Wee Herman, Bald Britney or (gasp!) Patrick Swayze as a centaur. But as a photo gallery over at EW proves, there are more than enough insane fans out there who are so in love with their favourite stars that they’ve etched a permanent image of their visage on their bodies. One might think a popular celebrity tat would be, say, Pamela Anderson or Scarlett Johansson, or maybe even Brangelina. But, sadly, it seems the sort of fan who goes through the pain of imprinting rainbow-coloured images of their idols are mainly of the Jack Jordan stalker variety. The bad, the ugly, and the downright nightmarish tattoos in question, after the jump. More »
7:10AM Defamer US Edition | As we gaze outside at the Bassett Hound literally taking a dump in the middle of the three-way intersection outside the window of Defamer HQ-2 (a Christmas miracle!), we think fondly of Defamer videographer Molly, who is away today. We therefore had no choice but to plunder from the tidily wrapped video gifts beneath the tree of our more affluent cousins over at Jezebel. Look, everyone! It’s Charo singing “Feliz Navidad” on the Pee-wee’s Playhouse Christmas Special! ‘Tis the season to be breathalyzered: In what is unlikely to be the last celeb DUI of the year, Boy Meets World‘s Topanga was picked up for drunk driving. Still wracking your brains trying to come up for the perfect, last-minute present for the loved one who has everything? How about driving them insane with personalized postcards from an unsigned maniac in a tiny Polish village? Is it Christmas? What’s Jesus’s birthday without occasional Defamer guest-contributer Nick Malis’s musical ode to the loneliest holiday? We plan on spending our Christmas working on our Guitar Hero 3 game, though we have a ways to go until we even approach the insane skill-levels of Conrad the Great. Meanwhile, those of you who don’t find XMas 2008′s Most Wanted under your tree this year can still get in on the fun with Handbell Hero. Well, that’s it, everyone. True, we’re Jewish, but in the spirit of inclusionism, we’re out of here until Wednesday. All the best to you and yours. Chag Samayach! More »