10:45AM Jess McGuire | Sometimes I feel like my poor brain is bursting with pointless information about famous people. As each day passes, it becomes even more crammed with useless celebrity relationship updates. I like to believe I know exactly who is hooking up and who has broken up, so you can imagine my surprise to learn – like, SEVEN MONTHS AFTER THE FACT! – that Parker Posey is going out with Keanu Reeves!
DID YOU KNOW THIS? WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME!
And apparently there were recently pregnancy rumours floating around too. Unbelievable. I adore Parker Posey, and Keanu Reeves was my high school obsession (along with Callan Mulvey, Tim Wheeler from Ash, and one photo of
Sweat’s Martin Henderson wearing a nice woolly jumper for a Dolly Magazine shoot where I thought he looked like the kind of lad who would make a nice boyfriend and so I cut out the picture and put it beside my bed). I can’t believe they’re together. I can’t believe it took me seven months to find out.
In short, I failed you. I’m sorry.
(Parker Posey clip after the jump, all you fans of The Queen Of Indie).
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