open letters

An Open Letter To Josh Thomas

12:00PM Jess McGuire | Dear Josh Thomas, I am writing you this open letter to respectfully request that you return to Twitter with full force as soon as humanly possible. I understand that last night you poked fun at emo teens on Talkin’ About Your Generation (say hi to Shaun for me, by the way! I LOVE HIM), and The Kids on the internet turned on you. Dude, I have been there – and you cannot let them win. More »

An Open Letter To Nick Giannopoulos

2:20PM Jess McGuire | As regular Defamer Australia readers would recall, last week I wrote about Nick Giannopoulos’ new movie, a much needed sequel to The Wog Boy. In the comments of this “piece”, I was accused of being a bit racist due to accidentally spelling Nick’s name wrong – once. This saddened me because really, I would’ve assumed misspelling his surname – once – would probably indicate a typo rather than a seething hatred of Mediterranean types, but then I thought about it some more and realised that my love of burning crosses on front lawns and inability to resist cutting eye holes in my white sheets would point to me being a TOTAL RACIST BITCH. Good to know. More »

What Do Kate Winslet And Sharks Have In Common?

12:32PM Jess McGuire | The answer? They stubbornly and foolishly refuse to listen to me. EXHIBIT A. The Titanic actress, who also appears in Revolutionary Road alongside her former co-star Leonardo DiCaprio, has famously struggled with her weight throughout her career. She was nicknamed ‘blubber’ at school and says that only now is she starting to accept and appreciate her figure. The actress recently declared: ‘I’ve decided I am going to start loving my backside because I don’t know anyone who does that. And for my daughter, I want to be able to say to her, “I love this.”‘ NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! EXHIBIT B. More »

An Open Letter To Kate Winslet

5:33PM Jess McGuire | Dear Kate Winslet, I adore you. I think you are truly fabulous, and on many occasions I have proclaimed my desire to somehow become you. Which is weird, I’ll admit, but it comes from a non-frightening place of love, I promise. But I do have one teeny, tiny problem with you. You see, I am forever seeing articles where you are held up as an example of a physically ordinary woman. A lady with many flaws and blemishes who nevertheless bravely parades in front of cameras for a living as a shining example to your “sistas” that inner beauty is far more important than being a slim, blonde starlet. The thing is… YOU ARE THIN. We keep hearing about how you were once 14 stone when you were in your early teens and you were nicknamed Blubber by horrible school mates, and I feel sorry that you ever suffered from such horrible taunts, BUT THAT WAS NEARLY TWENTY YEARS AGO. You are a size eight now. This is not voluptuous. There’s this Australian singer you probably wouldn’t have heard of (unless you’ve attended any of Jenna Elfman’s Scientology shindigs in Los Angeles) called Kate Ceberano. Now there’s a hot Kate who can rightfully claim to be stepping up for curvaceous women everywhere. But you are very slim! Very! Slim! I appreciate that you’re trying to encourage young women to develop positive body image, but by constantly harping on about your figure and weight and eating habits in interviews, the press gets more fodder for “I’m going to start loving my backside” articles which leave women who are a size 12 and up thinking “Why on earth wouldn’t this size 8 gal like her arse? Is hers bigger than average? What does that make mine? Pass me a bucket, this dinner must go!” You are beautiful and talented and refreshingly down to earth and incredibly likeable. But you’ve been slim for twenty years. You gotta let go of that whole Blubber thing, you know? All the best for your Best Supporting Actress hopes at the Academy Awards, Defamer Australia MORE: Kate Winslet – I’m going to start loving my backside More »