...By members of her family.

Walking down Swanston Street in Melbourne, we heard some familiar tones - it was Natalie Gauci's winner's single, Here I Am, blaring out of a speaker system. We turned to face the din and realised it was pumping out of the Golden Tower "chat 'n' chew" restaurant, run by the Gauci family. The restaurant's covered dining area is still bedecked with home-made 'Vote Natalie' posters, which look more poignant with every passing day.

We couldn't help but feel that this was one of the last remaining places on earth where Gauci's music career was of any interest to anyone, and as such should possibly be submitted as a Heritage site.

Where did it all go wrong? Things looked set to soar for The Gauch when she took the Idol title while memories of her stirring renditions of Umbrella and Boys In Town were still fresh in the country's memory. Then things started to develop the stench of death: her album tanked, and, well, things got worse.

The latest we've heard from her is this blog on the Sony BMG site from last week, which sounds more like a gap-year traveller's email home than a missive from a busy music career.

Add to that the fact that Matt Corby, the last season's great white hope, turned down a recording deal, not to mention a decided lack of publicity regarding any 2008 auditions, and the franchise looks more or less dead in the water.

Is the Idol dream over, full-stop? Looking bloody likely from here!

Clearly our repeated calls for Mitch Winehouse to choke a bitch have fallen on deaf ears all this time, but there is some hope for Winegums in the form of Ma Winehouse, Janis.

Amy's look-alike mother has gone the old "heartfelt open letter in the News Of The World" tack in the hope of luring Amy back home for a blankie and some chicken soup.

We're man enough to admit we were wiping away a stray tear by the end of it (after which we dropped to the floor and did fifty one-armed push-ups to compensate).

"Having to cancel your tour has been very sad. But maybe it will make you stop, think and take stock of where your life is going."

Commenting on her son-in-law, Mrs Winehouse adds: "Blake, your husband, might not be my favourite

"We were terrified after we saw those pictures of you wandering around the freezing streets at dawn in your underwear. All I wanted to do was rush into those pictures and wrap you up in a big, warm blanket."

Which is weird, as we didn't know London newsagents stocked the heads of stillborn babies and eye of newt. There's something for Lonely Planet to put in their updated travel guide!

Things are looking AWESOME for Amy Winehouse lately! Not only are her teeth falling out, her husband in jail and her family warring with each other, now she's taken to roaming the chilly streets of London in her bra.

We're not sure how much longer we can keep this up, to be honest.

If Amy Winehouse's fans were hoping she might be trying to get her act together, these pictures will not provide much reassurance.

Barefoot, and clad only in her bra and jeans, the troubled singer emerged from a friend's house in Bow at 5.45am on Sunday looking distressed and agitated - as her mother-in-law says she taking more drugs than ever.

Onlookers said she appeared disorientated as she wandered around on the pavement for several minutes in the freezing cold before disappearing back inside.

The 24-year-old singer, who cancelled her UK tour last week, has ignored pleas from her family to seek help for her addiction to drugs.

Yeah, we're clutching at straws, too.

Whatever happened to Mick Jagger's promise to save Amy via the power of his pants music?

Amy, Amy, Amy...

Looks like Winegums' current tour has taken another turn for the worse, with yet more fans asking for refunds after the nu-soul diva served up another gig full of swearing, slurring and moodiness.

At this rate the only people attending her shows from now on will be the sort of people who like watching traffic cop shows after midnight (and wouldn't object to Amy calling them "monkey cunts", like she did recently).

The show, at Hammersmith Apollo, was the third in London last week. The first got rave reviews but Amy's performances got steadily worse. Saturday night's fiasco was the final straw for many fans, who bombarded her website forum with complaints. One said: "This was a tragedy of a gig. She should never have been allowed to perform."

Another said: "A shambles. I paid to see Amy, not some spaced-out girl wandering around." Another added: "I have never seen so many people leave a gig early. Get help, Amy."

Before the show, her management tried for hours to coax her out of her hotel room, where she has been partying without sleep. One aide was overheard saying: "I can't take this any more. She's a nightmare!"

We can also reveal allegations of a bitter divide between Amy and her support act. A member of Bryn Christopher's band claims: "Amy always throws parties backstage but we're not allowed to go. It's hurtful."

Last night, Amy's spokesman declined to comment.

She's starting to remind us of that "game" (now outlawed in this drought-afflicted world) where you turn the hose up to full blast and let it fly around like a rabid snake on ketamine. Amy Winegums is that hose.

We think there's something in that for all of us, don't you?

Okay, this is probably not what we were hoping for when we thought that Amy Winehouse's new UK tour could provide a new-ish beginning for the soul singer while Flake Fielder-Civil was locked up.

Evidently the first night of her tour was nothing less than a complete, unmitigated disaster.

Oh, it's almost too much for us - almost enough for... AN EMOTICON! : ((((

The 24-year-old singer, who was wearing a see-through black top and a mini-skirt, arrived on stage nearly an hour late only to stumble through an incoherent 90-minute set at the Birmingham NIA.

It took her just eight minutes to name-check her drug addict husband, Blake Fielder-Civil, who is in jail on remand accused of trying to pervert the course of justice.

Dedicating the song Back to Black to the 25-year-old music video assistant, she repeatedly added the word "Blakey" to lyrics - much to the confusion of her fans.

As the final bars played out, she tearfully slurred: "Nothing's going to bring my husband back."

And just as the audience were thinking things couldn't get any worse, Miss Winehouse began frantically sobbing before launching into rock band The Zutons' hit, Valerie.

As fans began to boo and heckle, around 100 poured out of the arena in disgust.

Does Winegums not realise the irony in calling him "Blakey", considering that's the name of the Jesus-looking criminal hiding in the barn in Whistle Down The Wind?

At this stage it's probably safe to say "no".

Isabel Lucas, formerly Home & Away's resident hippie, Tasha, has told of her tears at witnessing the slaughter of whales while in Japan on a conservationist mission.

Since leaving "The Bay", Lucas has devoted much of her time to environmental campaigning, and was in Japan to capture video footage of the cull.

(Incidentally, Lucas seems to shed tears at the drop of a hat; we once spotted her crying about her pasta bake at Thresherman's Bakery in Carlton, and there were no whales in sight.)

This is all endlessly admirable but we couldn't help stifling a laugh when we reached this part of the story:

Today , Lucas will lead another protest at Bondi Beach and attempt to create the world's largest human humpback whale using bodies on the sand.

The current record was set by 2500 school children in Los Angeles in May this year.

Don't these people realise it's stuff like pretending to be a giant humpback whale made of children that leaves them open to ridicule by the Matt Stones and Trey Parkers of the world?

Don't nuke our imagination, braaaa!

Now, even though we've been carrying on this Winegums Watch for the past few months and enjoying every minute of it, we don't want to give the impression that we're some kind of heartless schadenfreude machine that shivers with guilty pleasure whenever we read of Winegums' missteps.

Far from it - behind it all is an intense love of Ms Winehouse's music (even the old stuff!) and a desire for her to get it together. So, we were genuinely saddened to see these pics of Winegums wandering aimlessly - alone - around Munich, in tears.

We don't make a point of using emoticons on here, but feel at this time we just have to say : (((((

The pictures, taken last week, show the Rehab singer looking scared and on the verge of tears, which sources blame on the constant arguments between Amy and husband Blake Fielder-Civil.

According to pals, the 24-year-old star is struggling to cope with the increasingly stormy rows with husband Blake. And they warn his controlling behaviour, and unreasonable demands are threatening the couple's six-month marriage.

A source told Closer magazine: "They are constantly arguing backstage, and whenever he gets bored he demands they leave, no matter what she's doing.

"At one of her gigs, Blake even insisted they go back to the hotel half an hour before she was due on stage."

Mitch Winehouse looks like a stand-up bloke, why hasn't he decked Blake yet? Surely a bit of biffo at the pub is as good as an intervention, isn't it?

Poor Winegums; travelling solo - even if it is, as is the case here, only momentarily - is a very lonely feeling, and we know what it's like to have an attack of the Emma Thompson-at-the-end-of-Sense-And-Sensibiltiy in the foyer of a distant hotel or Starbucks. Just go buy yourself a Happy Meal, Winegums, that will solve everything! And, since we've already broken the emoticon code today, we'll finish with a nice : )

Our Kylie has given one of those "revealing" interviews that is actually revealing and makes us want to forgive all her recent follicular adventures and just sit down and watch When Harry Met Sally with her while making tearful headway through a packet of Chocolate Royals.

In an int with Glamour, she gives particularly poignant quotes about the wedding she is starting to think may never happen for her.

She admits: "There have been times when we were getting ready for a big event, like the opening of my exhibition at the V&A, and there's a last minute hoo-ha and we're all running around like headless chickens and I've said, 'Imagine if we were getting ready for my wedding!'.

"We'll see. I honestly don't have a feeling one way or the other if I will walk down the aisle."

Come back to Australia, Kyles, we'll take you out on the town! We can see Manpower and drink cowboys! It's a surefire winner!

Being fans of fashion's more left-of-centre denizens, we were saddened to hear of stylist and muse Isabella Blow's death in May this year; however, like most hideous fash parasites, we also thought "Imagine what the guest list at that funeral is going to be like!"

Well, we had a guilty little laugh this morning as we trawled through the photos of mourners arriving at Blow's memorial service in London and, well, we'll let you see why after the jump:

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You read it right. Honestly, we just don't know what to do with ourselves. We do not, however, think that this will be the death of Amy-watch, oh no.

To tide you over, here is one of our favourite Winegums moments of all time - Amy on Never Mind The Buzzcocks!

Now you must all go and say some prayers to Saint Victoria Newton that we will get another round of Winegums antics this week. God bless.