nigella lawson
Nigella “Secretly” Seeing Personal Trainer; We “Secretly” Think This Is A Load Of Arse
3:04PM Clem Bastow | We told you recently that the Food Network in America were apparently horrified by the size of TV chef Nigella Lawson’s behind (like a horse’s, apparently); much groaning ensued.
Well, the seemingly irrelevant “news” of her weight gain continues to inspire rabid editorial, as the Daily Mail has reported that Lawson is apparently so mortified at putting on weight that she is seeing a personal trainer in a clandestine manner more suited to secret drug drop-offs than exercise, one would think.
The domestic goddess, who admits to a weakness for calorific treats, has embarked on an intense exercise regime in a bid to lose weight.
Says a chum: “Nigella has been secretly meeting a personal trainer to do an aerobic work-out session tailored to help her get back into shape.”
Is that so, “chum”?
The problem seems to be this: Nigella Lawson is and has always been referred to as “sexy” or “hot”. Current media/celebrity theory also tells us that to be hot, one has to be slim. You can be “ugly” and fat, or maybe even “funny” and fat, but you can’t be sexy and “corpulent” (thanks, odious Age editorial).
This whole thing makes us feel more ill than we would if we ate one of Lawson’s cream and butter stuffed honey baked ham lard sandwiches deep fried in chocolate – honestly, WHO CARES what size she is. Who cares what size anyone is! She’s a chef for crine-outloud! More » 
The Food Network Don’t Want A Motor In The Back Of Nigella Lawson’s Honda
11:18AM Clem Bastow | Between all the too-hairy, too-skinny, too-mental coverage womankind is getting in the media these days, you’d be forgiven for thinking that there are better places to be than in the spotlight. And now it seems even sextastic television chefs – i.e., people who are generally accepted as being able to eat FOOD, as opposed to the sunlight and roasted almonds that the other female stars are served up – aren’t immune to the exacting pressure of waistlines and bum sizes.
Evidently TV chef Nigella Lawson, she of the finger-licking-goodness and dangerous curves, has been deemed too “fat” for US televisions.
The New York Post said: “Our spies at the Food Network say Nigella has way overeaten.
“The result is a butt like a horse.
“Her director is now doing back flips to not show her below the waist.”
A Food Network spokesman denied any filming changes.
While we’re not entirely sure why they would need to film Nigella’s bum in the first place (other than to revel in its wondrousness, of course), we can’t help but issue a world weary grooooaaaan when we read about things like this.
Yes, Nigella has traded on her appearance/sex appeal, but come on, dudes – she’s a chef. She’s not America’s Next Top Model. More » 