9:00AM Jess McGuire | Long ago, a British pop group claimed there “ain’t no party like an S-Club party” – folks, they were wrong. Truly trumping S-Club 7’s invigorating brand of knees-uppery, Nigel Scullion has proven there “ain’t no party like a National party… deputy!” and we fully applaud him for
refusing to apologise for his colourful past.
The National party’s new deputy leader Nigel Scullion has revealed that being stripped to his underpants and handcuffed to a pole in a sleazy Russian nightclub was one of the best nights of his life.
AND WHY WOULDN’T IT BE?
Nige, you ol’ dog, please share with us your tale of debauchery and mischief.
“It was 10 years ago, but I still remember it – I’m not someone who gets so drunk I can’t remember,” he said.
“I was out drinking with some international fishing mates of mine back when I was a fisherman myself.
“If you ever get an offer to go drinking with Icelandic whalers and Canadian crab fishermen, take them up on it.”
Already this is proving educational. Whenever we are approached by Icelandic whalers and Canadian crab fishermen and asked if we’d like to hit the town with them, we always say no. We feel like a bloody fool! But enough about us, we must continue with Nigel’s story…
“I don’t know what the story says – let me be clear about that. But if it says I was chained to a pole on stage, then sure, I’m guilty.
“At one stage or another, we all got up on the stage.”
He described the night out as a “big get together with mates”.
“It was a standard bar over there, and I suppose you could call it a sleazy bar.”
Senator Scullion said he fled the nightclub after a brawl erupted.
“At some stage, a fight broke out, so we all got up and left,” he said.
“But I was fully dressed when that happened.”
Note the keywords there, folks. “I was fully dressed… WHEN THAT HAPPENED!” Which means he definitely got nakie on stage. Definitely.
Nigel Scullion, Defamer Australia salutes you.
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